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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Do you feel like post-canon Homestuck sucks? Not as good as the real canon? Yeah, same. Which is why I'm writing THIS.

    My own remake of post-canon, but WORSE!
    (I'm not lying about that, or maybe I am, It's a matter of perspective)

    This is 15+ chapters of continual degradation of story and character as a metaphor for how the Epilogues and Homestuck^2 are fucking terrible and ruined everything. And don't take that lightly, trust me, there's a LOT I cut out of this story (and just LOOK at the warnings, jeez...) so that it isn't too fucked up. Enjoy your stay :)

    Oh yeah, you also might wanna read my other works to get a sense of what the fuck is happening, don't worry, there are only short 16 stories you'll need to catch up on ;))

    Tags will be updated with every new chapter (2 chapters will come out together, don't expect time consistency)

    The title is a reference none of you will get.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,491
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    451
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is John Egbert and you have a feeling that this isn't just a normal dream bubble.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,630
    Chapters:
    1/9
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    15
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Cinco deuses alugam um apartamento em Manhattan. Isso soava como o começo de uma piada ruim.

    Onde Loki Língua de Prata não é o único deus perdido que cai em um mundo que não é seu.

    (Tradução da fanfic "A Lullaby For Gods" de Aseraphfell, fanfic original em: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8868388)

    Language:
    Português brasileiro
    Words:
    106,959
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Kudos:
    40
    Hits:
    120
  4. Tags
    Summary

    aka Strip Pokerstuck: Queer as Fuck Edition

    aka Strip Pokerstuck: Sollux is here so we need to bifurcate the name somehow

    Your name is JANE CROCKER, and you are in a room with fifteen of your friends and fellow game survivors. Tonight is going to be fun.

    Trying my hand at the Strip Pokerstuck reins. If you haven't read the others yet, I'd recommend it, particularly New Universe Plus.

    Set in an AU where arbitrary things are different because I said so: Sollux and Aradia are alive and back, Terezi and Vriska are here, Hal didn't get yeeted into ARquius and is here in a robot body, and everyone is fucking queer. And fucking queers. Will have less reader input than previous SP fics because I'm an impatient bastard and already wrote a big chunk of what's happening. Dare suggestions still open.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,705
    Chapters:
    49/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    191
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    5603
  5. Tags
    Summary

    John is completely fine. He is completely and utterly content to spend his days alone in his room, watching movies and programming. But it would be nice to have a friend.

    In other words, John is completely and utterly alone. He's tried reaching out, but it's never worked. It seems like there's no place for him out there. But little does he know, there are seven other isolated idiots out there who yearn for friendship as much as he does.

    In other other words, a hurt/comfort fic about the beta and alpha kids finding their friends (and long-lost relatives)! It starts out with just John but the other characters are gradually introduced.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,540
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    36
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat Vantas is about to end it all, he hates his life and he's sure there's no one who cares for him.

    But all of that changes once Dave Strider pulls him from the edge.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,445
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    237
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat let out a groan and began mumbling harsh swears under his breath, as he slowly sat up in bed. The troll always felt like he never got enough sleep. The abrupt shift from sleeping all day for about 12 hours and being awake all night was torture. Of course it had been a few months so you'd think he would have gotten used to the sleeping schedule by now, but he was still having lots of trouble adjusting. What time was it now? The boy leaned over, brushing some hair from his face and squinting in an attempt to make out what numbers were blinking on the wall-clock. 1pm, great. Just great, he was up late again and most likely wouldn't be able to fall back asleep until an ungodly hour in the night.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,693
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    24
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The outer stations went dark first, like a warning shot to humanity. The “Trolls” as they would soon be known as quickly worked their way through the Milky Way, destroying and conquering anything in their path. It wasn’t until they were nearly to the Sol system that Earth’s military finally pulled it’s head out of it’s ass and began fighting back. The Troll army almost seemed surprised that they were putting up a fight which caused them to be staved off for a time. Ever since then, the Milky Way has been a battlefield of Troll technology and human endurance.

    Four young humans travel to Alternian space in the middle of an all out war and end up meeting some unexpected allies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,942
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    163
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Sollux, Heir to the empire was found lost at sea with nothing but himself and a satchel of gold, "rescued" by Dave Strider the Red Pirate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,266
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    698
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It was a chilly morning and Dave woke up to find himself holding onto a warm body. His face was buried in dark hair and the body was snoring quietly.

    Dave had no fucking idea who it was.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    475
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    22
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After a deadly zombie virus outbreak, a bunch of worn-out 20-some assholes navigate their way through the events of the apocalypse. Such as dead parents, morally dubious actions, and a blossoming love story between two ex-friends. Vriska, a frenzied and neurotic woman with a mean streak a mile high, takes charge of a team of pathetic boys and various capable women to find a hypothetical cure. In the meantime, Terezi, a legally blind law school dropout, deals with bubbling feelings and remorse from her and Vriska’s troubled past. After the two cross paths again, their friendship reignites, and they deal with even… deeper… feelings as they continue to bother each other to hell and back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,306
    Chapters:
    7/15
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    358
  12. Tags
    Summary

    June Egbert feels stuck in a dead timeline, full of regret for not having transitioned earlier. Her retcon abilities offer her an enticing option: to go back and change everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,752
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    179
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    3314
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Literally all of Homestuck, this WILL be broken, this is NOT a good way to read it. We spent to much time figuring out if we could, we didn't stop to think if we should, blah blah blah, you get the jist.

    If you want an actually good experience reading homestuck, go here: https://bambosh.github.io/unofficial-homestuck-collection/

    Using MSPFA to AO3 https://flaringk.github.io/MSPFA-to-GBAO3/ with this port of homestuck https://mspfa.com/?s=33216

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    799,231
    Chapters:
    26/26
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    322
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Home to the lost, the desperate and the hopeless, Neo City is a cold and heartless place, the neon-lit refuse heap of the universe. Mighty heroes and villains—Powers, everyone calls them—fight for control of the city, but someone’s got to look after the little guy and that duty falls to you. With your trusty sidekick the Seer of Doom at your side, you sort out the missing people, the burning buildings, the muggings, even the cats stuck up artificial trees when you have to. But tonight you have bitten off more than you can chew. It’s not about helping someone any more. A monster who feeds on the innocent is getting bolder and stronger, and the fate of the entire city depends on you stopping them.

    (It is inconsequential that you wish to remain a small-scale hero, Joey. You have a purpose in all of this—you are the lead dancer in the cruel ballet of Fate, if you will—and I can’t have you hiding from the spotlight forever.)

    Act One complete. Updates every other Thursday.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    169,762
    Chapters:
    45/216
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    3514
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Just your average secret identity vigilante-style Homestuck fic, featuring heroes and villains and vigilantes and absolutely nothing else unexpected at all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,903
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    868
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The classic tale of Homestuck, except an AI is telling the story and it gets just generally fucked up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,274
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    60
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Davesprite was extremely lucky. If he had had just a little less time to fight Jack, he probably would have been seriously injured, and Bro killed. But now he has the Black Queen's ring, and Jack Noir will never terrorize the session again.

    John Egbert is unsure of his(?) entire identity. Vriska had given him some girl clothes to use for a prank against someone else (at least, he thinks), so why does he like wearing them so much?

    Tavros needs to be brave for once. With help from a mysterious human named "June" that had contacted him, as well as upgrades for his cybernetic legs, he finally feels confident to stand up to Vriska when he couldn't before.

    Aradia can't pinpoint exactly when the timeline became doomed, but she needs to find some way to fix it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,602
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    295
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you are DEFINITELY NOT a homosexual.

    Well.

    You are, actually. A very gross, perverted one.

    You're just hiding it.

    ---

     

    Dave comes to many uncomfortable realizations about his feelings as he struggles to avoid his very hot, very shouty, very ripped coworker.

    and also everyone else in the Super Secret Spy facility because suddenly everyone is hot.

    (except girls, that is)

    --
    hello hello hello this is my first homestuck fic!!! ik the fandom's mostly dead but who cares

    silly funny little spy guy AU with shocking amounts of internalized homophobia <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,884
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    96
  19. Tags
    Summary

    There are many things Dirk Strider hates about living in New York City- the weather, the noise, annoying people on the subway to name a few. The more time he spends with his new next door neighbor, a musician named John, the more he will have to accept (albeit reluctantly) that not everything about this city is so bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,556
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    60
  20. Tags
    Summary

    You held his dying form in your hands. Pressing kisses to his face as the light drained from his eyes. The love of your life just fucking died in your arms.

    And as your blood seeps through your clothes, you pull his body up against a wall and interlock with his body as you go stiff.

    You wake with a jump and a loud screech. Your matesprit jolts up and looks around before spotting the tears streaming down your face

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,142
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    66

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