1 - 20 of 515 Works in John Egbert/Dirk Strider

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Like what sort of guy says he's a god and then lets fifty doves shit on him?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    82,382
    Chapters:
    12/13
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1553
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When John starts having dreams about his boyfriend, he assumes nothing is out of the ordinary. When the dreams turn to nightmares, he's concerned. When dreams become reality and he's faced with a creature hellbent on keeping him in his world, will he be able to find a way home again?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,828
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    97
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and Dave move into a new apartment near their brand new magical college and meet a couple of their neighbors on move in day.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,555
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    83
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Basically Gamzee killed literally everyone and then they all said 'respawn' in another timeline with no memory of him which he thought that it would be better that way. Sadly though, Tavros and Gamzee were matesprits before the incident and Tavros is getting slight memories of what happened between him and Gamzee without any knowledge of who exactly Gam was. So... yeah.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,022
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    42
  5. Tags
    Summary

    He’s John fucking Crocker. Funniest guy in Hollywood. He’s got Netflix specials coming out the wazoo. His comedy tour is sold out across the board.

    Everybody loves him, but nobody knows him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,095
    Chapters:
    10/28
    Comments:
    332
    Kudos:
    321
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    4022
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Outside the stone ledge of your window, the gardener whistles like a blue jay. You try not to pay him any mind.

    (Or, Prince Dirk of Derse attempts to draft a peace treaty with Prospit, only to become increasingly distracted by his gardener.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,604
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    462
  7. Tags
    Summary

    There’s no way John would willingly choose to be around him without some kind of incentive, considering what happened last time they hung out. Especially since he hasn’t talked to him – really talked to him – since then.
    So.
    It just makes sense.
    And it’s fine. It’s totally fine.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,757
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    382
  8. Tags
    Summary

    John accidentally gets cat married to some stray catboys who follow him home one day.
    John makes honest cat-men out of them for their not wedding night.
    John has no idea whats going on, Dave and Dirk don`t seem to either.
    there is really no excuse for this. I am sorry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,554
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    109
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk decides to get a dick piercing. PWP

    Content warnings: a few references to the things that could go wrong with dick piercings, one joke about self-decapitation

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,616
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    187
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Seriously, who asks someone out at a party?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    427
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    42
  11. Tags
    Summary

    When Dirk goes off to sulk in the woods of Camp Half Blood, John isn't far behind.

    ----
    first ao3 work let's gooooo. rated t for language (it is homestuck after all)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,239
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    141
  12. Tags
    Summary

    John finds out that most of his friends have had a crush on him at some point - including Dirk Strider.

    Wait, when did THAT happen?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,495
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1224
  13. Tags
    Summary

    John meets his best friend's brother while at a party, in... unconventional circumstances.

    And for some reason, Dirk doesn't kick his ass when he finds out.

    (There's an act of dubious consent in the first chapter only, and mentions of it throughout the rest of the story! I just wanted to make sure to err on the side of caution while tagging.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,543
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1059
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Exactly what you run from, you end up chasing
    (Say it, say it) like, you can't avoid, but
    (Hey hey) just chasing it and just like trying (say it, say it)
    Giving it everything that you can, there's always an obstacle"

    Detective John Egbert finds himself in the strangest case in his entire career when a series of murders plagues the city of Seattle, Washington. As he tries to figure out who is at the center of it all, he meets Dirk Lalonde, his mysterious new neighbor who he may have a crush on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,354
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    64
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dave invites himself, his new boyfriend and his best friend over for thanksgiving. Dirk realizes that said best friend got surprisingly hot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,899
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    315
  16. Tags
    Summary

    John and Dirk have been together for six months now and Dave has managed to crash nearly every single one of their dates. Will Dirk get to keep his boyfriend to himself for this day, of all days, or is his younger brother going to supersede him again?

    Unrelated, John has a plan, a surprise, and little to no ethical qualms.

    Content warning: slight age difference (not explicit, but Dirk is two years older than John/Dave), no condom use

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,999
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    237
  17. Tags
    Summary

    'Everything was a blur. His breath came out in short gasps when he collided with a stray branch. It sent him sprawling across the floor of the forest.'

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    148
  18. Tags
    Summary

    EB: i mean... im not a homosexual myself but i'd say youre pretty handsome haha

    TT: Well shucks, Egbert. You sure know how to make a lady blush.

    TT: And it’s not so much my physique I’m worried to pass down, but my affinity for storing swords in refrigerators.

    EB: well i think refrigerators are a fine place to store swords, but alright haha!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,086
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    408
  19. Tags
    Summary

    'What a beautiful night. The stars twinkled in the dark sky, yet John pays no mind to their beauty. He’s creeping through the near-silent apartment. Smuppets litter the ground, making his journey harder than necessary. But that’s not important.'

    John sneaks into Dirk's room late at night.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    981
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    193
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk's just vibin, you know, livin his life and then BAM. A wolf shows up in his home and now he's attached.

    (This might end up being slow-burn as my one-shot history was getting boring, but!! I hope y'all enjoy!!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,413
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    337

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