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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Stede is on a blind internet date that is going very badly when the man of his dreams walks in.

    Based on a true story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,000
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    486
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Ed Teach is the owner of Blackbeard's Revenge, a pirate-themed haunted attraction in LA. Stede Bonnet is recently divorced, unhappy in his corporate job, and looking to find himself...by applying to be a scare actor!

    Tags will be updated as the story commences, and any sensitive sections will be marked. Cross posted on Twitter @wannabewesley

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    7
  3. Tags
    Summary

    In the year is 2020, the Jaeger Program has begun its decline as focus begins to turn to building the Anti-Kaiju Wall as an alternative way to keep the mysterious beasts known as Kaiju from getting past the Pacific Rim.

    Its downfall is hastened when thirty seven year old Edward Teach — the legendary Jaeger pilot known as Blackbeard — is forced out of duty by the near death and subsequent coma of his co-pilot to the Queen Anne's Revenge, Izzy Hands.

    Thirty five year old Stede Bonnet is a new recruit who has just graduated from the Jaeger Academy by the skin of his teeth, assigned to the Sydney Shatterdome to be tested as a temporary (or if need be, permanent) replacement as Blackbeard's co-pilot.

    The pair form a quick bond, and soon find out that not everything (or everyone) are as they seem at the Sydney Shatterdome.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    83
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Edward Teach is a fashion model who has seen and tasted everything. Probably too many things.

    Stede Bonnet made a name for himself as one of the greatest therapist in LA.

    Stede knows how to help people. Edward stopped asking for help a long time ago.

     

    OFMD SMAU crossposted from twitter (@Braintrotmess), Updated max once a day here, but I'm more active on Twitter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,910
    Chapters:
    187/?
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1617
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Alternate Universe. Mary makes the first move of ending her and Stede's marriage.

    When Lucius is brought in to take care of Stede while he digests this process, they end up at a strip club where Stede lays eyes on a tall drink of water, his mind forgetting about Mary.

    What he doesn't know is that this handsome, tall drink of water has some secrets of his own.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,162
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2130
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Blackbeard's latest mad scheme involves an alliance with another pirate captain. As collateral against betrayal, they trade first mates—against Izzy's will and better judgment. John Silver is charming, gregarious, and absolutely untrustworthy. Izzy tries very hard to hate serving under him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,089
    Chapters:
    4/7
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    237
  7. Tags
    Summary

    AU modern setting

    Stede Bonnet is the owner of The Lighthouse, a new restaurant just across the street from Blackbeard's, the pub where both Edward Teach and Izzy Hands have been working for the last twenty years. Will a new face be enough to finally break the precarious stability between Ed and Izzy?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,289
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    123
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Edward Teach is the increasingly dissatisfied co-owner of Blackbeard Antiques with his best friend Izzy. He loves the fine things they sell, but is sick of a life surrounded by obnoxious rich people. Then one day he encounters a pretty posh boy (well middle aged man) he can actually stomach and who might just change everything…

    Stede Bonnet has channelled his mid-life crisis into becoming an unconventional Saville Row tailor, making beautiful bespoke suits at Bonnet & Friends with a merry crew of misfits. The trouble is they don't have any paying clients and the business is on the brink of failure before it's even really begun. Then one day a gravelly voice calls out of the blue with a business opportunity that might help the struggling tailor find his feet personally and professionally…

    A modern AU set in England that no one asked for, but popped unbidden into my head out of nowhere anyway! Relatively long form, mostly fluff with some angst and a bit of smut down the line.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,071
    Chapters:
    6/28
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    415
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Modern AU:

    Izzy Hands secretly takes jazzercise classes. Stede Bonnet coincidentally enrolls in the same class. Hilarity ensues. Izzy has to face some of his issues. Good ending.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,260
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    37
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Izzy gets everything he wanted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,321
    Chapters:
    24/27
    Comments:
    455
    Kudos:
    446
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    9455
  11. Tags
    Summary

    After receiving a gift from Jim, Izzy reflects on their past relationship with their gender and their past relationship with their captain.

    Sequel to Izzy Hands (They/Them).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,411
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    90
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “They wanted to execute me. They shot me, they stabbed me, they fucking cut off my head and hung it on the bowsprit. But I cannot die,” Blackbeard laughed darkly, “joke’s on them,” he let out a snort.

    The first time Stede ran from Ed, it was because he was haunted by Chauncey Badminton’s words, that he “destroys beautiful things.” When he realized that what he and Ed had was a beautiful thing and that he was destroying it by running, he tried to return to Ed’s side. However what he saw sent Stede running from Ed again, this time to save his life.

    *Update that I’ve taken the epilogue out and made it a follow up one shot. See ch 4 notes for details.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,777
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1860
  13. Tags
    Summary

    «Perché sei qui?»

    «Tu che credi?»

    «Per salvarmi?»

    «Ti piacerebbe. Ritenta.»

    «Per uccidermi?»

    Il cuore di Stede batteva come un martello nel buio. Gli sembrava di essere davvero alla mercé di un predatore pronto a sbranarlo.

    «È molto seccante» disse Blackbeard. Il suo tono riusciva a essere basso e cauto, senza bisogno di sussurrare. Accelerò il ritmo: «è davvero seccante, per la mia reputazione di pirata e in generale, che si sia sparsa la voce che tu sia una sorta di mio punto debole. Potevo gestirla fino a che era solo tra me e te, ma questo non va proprio bene.»

    ---

    La storia parte dal loro re-incontro, per poi procedere in avanti e a ritroso.
    Aggiornerò la versione italiana ogni giovedì.

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    31,774
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    377
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Ed’s gaze climbs Izzy’s scrappy stature, from his worn leather boots to the familiar gold ring placed before his throat, and finally matches his eyeline on Stede. Izzy’s sea-salted upper lip curls in disgust. Any softness in his eyes was now dead.

    “I’ll always have room for you, Iz,” Ed assures him.

    Izzy growls at him, “No!” And finally gets to shove his middle fingers in Blackbeard’s—

    Ed swallows the whole of Izzy’s right middle finger down to the base. With his mouth agape, Izzy stares at his digit in his Captain’s mouth, reasonably sure that he feels his tonsils hit against the tip. Impressive, honestly. “S—sir, w—what are you, I mean, t—this is..."

    Ed raises his eyebrows, his soft brown eyes looking down upon Israel Hands, a leather-clad finger causing saliva to spill from the corner of his mouth.

    “I believe you’re drooling, sir,” Izzy says, watching the saliva drip into the regrowth of Ed’s beard.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,461
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    144
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Izzy is thrilled when he finally meets his soulmate Edward... The only problem is that Edward's soulmate is Stede.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,925
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    768
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Not that Jack’s much fonder of the types who tend to rile Izzy up. If he were to be perfectly honest, and he rarely is, he might have even roughed a couple of them up. Just for fun mind you, certainly not because they called Izzy an “uppity little cunt”.

    And maybe he is an uppity little cunt, but he’s his uppity little cunt, and Jack’s the only one who gets to tell him as much, a-thank you.

    ---

    Domestic soft nonsense for the nastiest man around. Send help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,855
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    118
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The Revenge has a summer tour. Travelling in a caravan of RVs across the country, they bring their lovers and their children for a month of singing, laughter, tears, and new acts.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43
    Chapters:
    3/6
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    47
  18. Tags
    Summary


    “Captain, we have a plan to get you out, come to the window.” Ed stayed put. Of course Izzy had come up with a plan, he always had a fucking plan, that was the problem. “Captain, I know you’re in - oh you twat, fuck off -” Izzy’s silhouette disappeared, shoved to the side by someone taller.

    “Ed?” a familiar voice said, in a stage whisper that could probably be heard for miles. Ed’s heart jumped into his throat. “Ed, it’s me. Uh, Stede.”

    Ed wasn’t sure which part of this was most unlikely: that Stede Bonnet had come to get him out of prison instead of staying where he belonged with his fancy house and fancy wife, or that Stede Bonnet was working together with Izzy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,274
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    228
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    1985
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Stede takes Ed and Izzy to a cottage for a week of vacation. They get up to shenanigans. And there's a cat.

    ....

    “Are we ready to go, my loves?” Stede says, grinning at them.

    “We are suspicious of everything you are doing,” Ed replies, “but yes. We’re ready.”

    “You act like I can’t plan a lovely time away for us.” Stede pouts and puts his hands on his hips.

    “You can, and you’ve obviously planned something...” Izzy tugs his glove down even though he doesn’t need to. “But everyone can tell when you’re up to something, Bonnet. Even those members of the crew that aren’t fucking you. So. We are just waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,152
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    621
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet should have it all. He's broken out on his own, away from his father's company and influence, and his own record company is starting to make news. He's managed to lure one of his father's top ticket bands, Blackbeard, away from Nigel, his father's golden boy, to sign with him at Revenge Records.

    He's newly separated from his wife, finally free of everything, and Edward Teach, the Blackbeard the band is named for, tells him he's a fucking lunatic with a spark in his eyes that maybe, just maybe means something more.

    But when he gets afraid, Stede's always been too good at running. And the past has a way of getting to you ...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,366
    Chapters:
    8/10
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    564

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