1 - 20 of 154 Works in Inspired by The Accidental Warlord and His Pack Series - inexplicifics

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Choose your own path, little lamb,” Lambert’s Mam murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Don’t let someone claim to own you just because they make your Match-Mark red.”
    ~
    The Lambert/Aiden/Milena soulmate!AU that’s been haunting me since 2020

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,969
    Chapters:
    8/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1012
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Redenia insists that the treaty with the Witchers Warlord of Kaedwen is sealed with a Bond Marriage, and sends Milena as their choice. She doesn't know what to expect when she gets there but it definitely isn't anything she could have prepared for.

    Lambert is surprised when Eskel requests his presence, as apparently he is to be the noble woman's Bond. Why him and what sort of relationship is he supposed to have with a human noble?

    Only time will tell.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,314
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    104
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier was not a servant, but he was not a noble either. He was King Vizimir's dirty little secret, hidden from the public for years. Everything changes the day he finds out he's supposed to pretend to be King Vizimir's illegitimate son to ensure peace between the Warlord of the North and Redania.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,043
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    321
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    3988
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Twenty years ago, the Warlord of the North came down out of the mountains and slew the king of Kaedwen, taking crown and kingdom for his own. Everyone expected him to be overthrown almost immediately, but he has only grown ever more secure in his position. Finally, the other countries around Kaedwen have begun to negotiate with him as they would any other king.

    To seal the new treaty between Redania and the Warlord, Lady Milena de Roggeven, third daughter of the Duke of Roggeven, has been sent to marry whichever of the Warlord’s men he chooses.

    Milena is starkly terrified of everything about her new husband; every rumor she has ever heard about the barbarians of the north seems worse than the last, and Lambert clearly despises the very thought of marriage.

    Lambert of the Wolves is still grieving his lost lover, dead more than three years now. The last thing he wants is to be married off to a terrified stranger, and he can’t imagine why Geralt and Eskel think he of all people is suited to a diplomatic marriage.

    And neither of them suspects the treachery that lies behind the treaty which binds them together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    137
    Chapters:
    6/38
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    426
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Jaskier, Bard of the Continent, found himself somewhere he wasn't really wanted. Day in and day out he tries to make himself useful but is turned away or ignored. Most times he feels hardly tolerated. But he stays because...where else would he go? Who else would want him? So he stays, explores, and finds...

    --------------------------

    Jaskier, Bard and Consort to the Warlord of the North, is wonderfully happy. He lives in a place where he is loved and valued just for being himself. There are days when he is overwhelmed by pure joy at the Life he's somehow managed to create with those he loves. And he wouldn't hesitate to fight to the death in order to protect it. That night he closes his eyes with love in his heart. When he opens them again...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,661
    Chapters:
    1/10
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    177
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Jango Fett didn't mean to restart the Mandalorian Empire. He just kept accidentally acquiring planets after their leaders proved too corrupt to leave in place. Nobody told the Republic that (or if they did, they didn't believe it), so they decide to send a tribute to the Warlord.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi, freshly knighted Jedi with a Padawan adopted in the heat of the moment, is chosen to sate the Warlord's desire for conquest. He's not happy about it, but when the senate sends him he must go. Fortunately, the unreasonably pretty warlord seems to mainly want him to do paperwork.

    And Jango Fett might just save the Galaxy for his gorgeous new Jedi assistant and his adorable feral murder child.

    This podfic recorded with permission from author BairnSidhe

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    920
  7. Tags
    Summary

    At the request of his uncle, King Vizimir, Julian takes a break from his studies at Oxenfurt to visit the Redania Capital with his family. His father, Viscount de Lettonhove, would rather keep him far away from the capital due to all the Witcher's wandering about. When word of the celebrations held to honor the Peace Treaty and blooming friendship between the Warlord of the North and Redania, Julian dreams of attending. Only his father forbids him from attending.
    Against his fathers wishes, Julian sneaks into the celebrations in disguise. Spending the entirety of the celebrations with an unknown Witcher. It was the most fun Julian had had in years.
    Even after the events that followed three years later, he still dreams of that night. He remembers how happy he was before the sorrow and its responsibility sat heavy on his shoulders.
    Before he became Jaskier and ran away from everything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,367
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    402
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “I am glad that you and your court have appreciated our Tribute, White Wolf.” His father stands at his place, hands behind his back, his posture and face plastered in a fake sign of respect and courtesy. “Though I’m curious as to why you decided to have him as Court Bard?” Oh fuck. Jaskier pales, cold sweat forming, he knows he must utterly reek of fear to just about every Witcher in that hall. He hasn’t told Geralt and the others what his intended purpose was as Tribute, and most of the others don’t even know he was a tribute.

    Or: a certain Envoy from Redania brings up something he really should not have.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,408
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    378
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2331
  9. Tags
    Summary

    After Priscilla runs away from her toxic relationship with Valdo Marx, she finds herself in Oxenfurt listening to a bit of gossip from the warlord's land. She is rather surprised that her missing friend Jaskier is not only alive, but perfectly well living a life of warlord's consort.

    She decides to travel to Kaer Morhen to make sure her friend is okay and hoping to find a way with her own pain and disappointment. Staying in a keep full of witchers is more pleasant than she expected and she finds herself especially fascinated with a certain pair of soft amber eyes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,482
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    3013
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Ciri is off being as normal of a kid as possible when one is the daughter and heir of the Warlord of the North and there's nothing significant to prevent Jaskier from spending several days enjoying some downtime with Geralt and Eskel.

    Jaskier was pretty sure that somewhere out there someone had at one point made up some saying out there about when things were quiet. Was it that is when disaster liked to strike? Or perhaps he was thinking about tempting fate? Either way, all he knew for sure was that, for once, things were blessedly calm around the keep.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,078
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    82
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Nests-With-Predators spends a night away from her two-legs. This is not without consequences.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,278
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    280
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The Witcher Warlord of the North is feared by all. When Jaskier is caught up in a plot to murder the Warlord, he assumes that means he will die. And while his life as a disowned, wandering bard does end, it doesn't happen at all in the way that Jaskier thinks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,035
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    107
    Kudos:
    888
    Bookmarks:
    223
    Hits:
    9280
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Aubry was willing to raise little Julian, if it had come to that.
    He's not sure how that translates to the slowly amassing swarm of children around him, but that's out of his control.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,156
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    322
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    1626
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert, who has been charged with getting Kaer Morhen’s life support systems up and running after many decades of abandonment, has some good news and some bad news for the council of Kaer Morhen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,820
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    650
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Original author's summary:

    Twenty years ago, the Warlord of the North came down out of the mountains and slew the king of Kaedwen, taking crown and kingdom for his own. Everyone expected him to be overthrown almost immediately, but he has only grown ever more secure in his position. Finally, the other countries around Kaedwen have begun to negotiate with him as they would any other king.

    To seal the new treaty between Redania and the Warlord, Lady Milena de Roggeven, third daughter of the Duke of Roggeven, has been sent to marry whichever of the Warlord’s men he chooses.

    Milena is starkly terrified of everything about her new husband; every rumor she has ever heard about the barbarians of the north seems worse than the last, and Lambert clearly despises the very thought of marriage.

    Lambert of the Wolves is still grieving his lost lover, dead more than three years now. The last thing he wants is to be married off to a terrified stranger, and he can’t imagine why Geralt and Eskel think he of all people is suited to a diplomatic marriage.

    And neither of them suspects the treachery that lies behind the treaty which binds them together.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13
    Chapters:
    2/38
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    332
  16. Tags
    Summary

    It's Milena's second birthday at Kaer Morhen.

    It's a lot different to the first.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,184
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    825
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The cunnilingus Oliwia Bartol has deserved since she walked from Redania to Kaer Morhen

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,962
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    486
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Humankind cannot police itself. Space travel should have heralded a new age of enlightenment, but strife persisted. Theft, murder, famine. War. Catastrophe upon tragedy, often perpetrated by those who had sworn to protect.

    Thus, the Arbiters were created. They are judge, jury and executioner all in one synthetic being, neither man nor machine but something in between, and universally hated. And Arbiters are safe to hate, for they have no feelings to hurt.

    Or so everyone thought. Jaskier is rapidly discovering otherwise.

    In which Roach is an eternal psychic spaceship, Geralt is charged with protecting the universe, and Jaskier is, well, a bard.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,397
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    354
    Kudos:
    374
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    3497
  19. Tags
    Summary

    While working in Milena and Lambert's rooms, Livi loses track of where she is and finds comfort despite her embarrassment.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    288
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    647
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Lambert of the Wolf School was dead.

    No, there wasn't a body, but they had his medallion to prove it, and other pieces had cropped up in one town or another after that. The other wolves must have hunted hard to find the whole armor-set — sentimental loyalists that they were — but there it was, full and complete and still stained brown where the blood had set into the fabric.

    It was greying with dust in Kaer Morhen, when Geralt of Rivia beheaded the Kaedwen King, and still in one piece when he came back again. It had begun to disintegrate when the new Warlord of the North barricaded himself in a long-emptied bedroom with nothing but Lambert’s armor set to keep him company. It met an ignominious end crumbling to moth-eaten pieces when the Wolf-Cub of Kaer Morhen tried to put it on to see what a set of Witcher armor felt like when it was riding up your ass in real life.

    Thankfully, Lambert turns out to be a bit sturdier than his armor.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,752
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2702

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