1 - 20 of 1853 Works in Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    It was one year, forty two days, three hours, and twenty-seven minutes exactly since the Nopocalypse.

    Just long enough for an angel and a demon to spend more time together consecutively than they ever had, but definitely not long enough for them to expect, nor even consider what would come to happen that evening, one autumnal and rainy Friday in a bookshop in Soho.

    The impossible. Supposedly. And the mysterious product of that one evening was what two clueless supernatural entities would simply refer to as …

    Orb.

    (Or, to the likes of you and me … new life.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,052
    Chapters:
    2/4
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    216
  2. Tags
    Summary

    —Lo sé, ¡¡Por el amor de Dios!! Pero no podemos hacer tonterías —protesta Aziraphale, preocupado.

    —Tampoco nos extralimitemos —responde Crowley levantando las manos hacia él—. No estamos como para exigirnos más de lo que somos capaces.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    936,164
    Chapters:
    206/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1777
  3. Tags
    Summary

    (There is no way for Crowley to say what he means, nothing even comes close: I thought you died, and I didn’t care if I did. I nearly lost you, and now I’m about to if we can’t figure this out, but Lord, I don’t want to spend another minute not being near yo

    (Now, Crowley has had six thousand years to think about kissing Aziraphale.

    (There is a trick humans do where they pass their finger through the flame of a candle without it burning them– if they do it just right.

    (No one sees them from the street, but if they did it, it wouldn’t really matter what they thought.


    The perfect joy of two– friends, lovers, newlyweds, old husbands–

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,996
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    71
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "It started, funnily enough, with a funeral."

    The funeral of a lovely old woman in a quiet little village near Oxford changes things for the residents forever in ways that they can't begin to fathom. That new face may not be such a stranger after all.

    This is a gentle exploration of the lives of our favourite duo and their friends. It will dip into their pasts and hopefully throw up a few surprises along the way. It's not going to be an easy ride for any of them but let's hope that they get their happy ending.

    Heart ache, misunderstandings, death, betrayal and true love. This has it all and more.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,853
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    622
  5. Tags
    Summary

    On his way to meet his online date in a café, Aziraphale Fell realizes that the guy he has been chatting with is his new and hated neighbour Anthony Crowley. And on top of it all, Crowley suggests that they could start a friends with benefits relationship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,664
    Chapters:
    6/15
    Collections:
    7
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1905
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley gets an unusual summoning… and a new pet/minion of chaos.

    Inspired by a meme: Ouija board rugs: it's all fun and games until the Roomba accidentally summons a demon...

    I'm sure you can all see where this is going. Anyhow this was intended as a one off short comedy, but then between me, CynSyn and several other Good Omens fan friends and my other half, we came up with so many more ridiculous shenanigans that Crowley, Aziraphale and Crowley's demonic hellspawn can get up to together that I decided to make this a weekly updated series which continued for over a year.

    There won't be any other regular updates, but I'm not discounting the possibility of the odd chapter happening in future if inspiration strikes. For now I'm calling it a completed work. But feel free to keep sending me prompts. You might inspire something more. Thanks for all the love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    111,235
    Chapters:
    56/56
    Comments:
    4123
    Kudos:
    1231
    Bookmarks:
    269
    Hits:
    33630
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Not everyone gets a happy childhood. Not everyone gets to grow up in loving families, not everyone is bloody normal and happy and all sunshine and bright smiles all the bloody time.

    But Crowley is bloody well going to ensure that Warlock gets the best childhood he can ever have. He's not going to fail his nephew when everyone else have. He'll give the boy good memories, a nice learning experience, teach him right from wrong and all that shite.

    Babylon, as sappy as it sounds, will always support her brother, and she loves little Warlock. But her greatest wish of all is being a functional human being who don't break down at the slightest bit of pressure, is that too much to ask?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,129
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1490
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Aziraphale are neighbours. And...it does not go at all well, until it does.

    A human AU in which Aziraphale is a bookseller, Crowley is a drummer, and they are both petty disasters in the worst/best way.

    +++

    “So what’s your deal?”
    “My-my-my deal?” Aziraphale stammered. “I’m a bookseller, is my deal.”
    “Oh,” Crowley replied, sounding as uninterested as it was possible to sound.
    “It’s just, I couldn’t help overhearing, and --” Aziraphale swallowed hard. “You really are an accomplished musician. But I thought -- for after 11PM -- perhaps we could reach some arrangement?”
    “Arrangement?”
    Aziraphale felt his his smile turning forced. “Such as, perhaps, playing the drums *before* eleven? Instead of after?”
    Crowley stared blankly at him. In fact he stared for so long that Aziraphale briefly wondered if he'd lapsed into ancient Greek again, which he was known to do in bad dreams or during panic attacks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,435
    Chapters:
    18/22
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1813
    Kudos:
    1314
    Bookmarks:
    257
    Hits:
    35389
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A varied collection of smut featuring two incompetent, yet ineffable idiots who know little to nothing about sex.

    So they decide to learn.

     

    A/N: I wrote this for fun, dont come at me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,553
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    212
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is convinced to turn The Bentley into The Batmobile

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    34
  11. Tags
    Summary

    {Once Upon A Time…

    There was a red-haired sorcerer who lived alone in a high tower. And a blond prince who lived in a palace full of people. And they were both of them desperately lonely.

    The Kingdoms of Empyrion and the Sorcerers of Apollyon have hated each other for hundreds of years, ever since the Great War. They do not interact, other than to occasionally try to kill one another. And they certainly do not make friends.

    Crow is an exhausted sorcerer who just wants everyone to leave him the hell alone: for the Sorcerer’s Council to stop harassing him to live up to his potential, and for wannabe Empyrion Heroes to stop attacking his tower to try and kill him. Until one day when he meets Prince Azra of the High Fells, who doesn’t behave anything like he’s supposed to…

    Part fairy tale, part fantasy, all love story. There’s magic, and grand romantic gestures, and Heroes and a handsome Prince, and a Villain. There are even some wild heroics, though not necessarily from who you would expect. At its core it’s simply about two (relatively) sane people living in a mad world who find each other.

    The smut isn’t until later chapters.}

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    211,245
    Chapters:
    30/31
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1502
    Kudos:
    679
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    21810
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Anathema and Newt get a lesson in superstitions when they decide to invite an angel and a demon to dinner.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    134
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale is moulting, crowley tries to get him to accept having his wings groomed more often

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    326
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    186
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Sorry . . . I just . . . I . . ." He could no longer meet Aziraphale's gaze. "I love you," he whispered.

    Aziraphales eyes went wide as he turned to Crowley’s way “I beg your pardon…” he said breathless.

    Crowley took a deep breath. There was no going back now. "I love you," he said.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,366
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    293
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale has a lovely human partner. Crowley has a secret.

    AKA the abundantly smutty and shamelessly self-indulgent "person gets caught in their own web of lies" fic that absolutely no one asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,438
    Chapters:
    2/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    920
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley knits Aziraphale some socks

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    340
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    91
  17. Tags
    Summary

    It's anniversary time again, and Crowley wants to get his husband something special. But Aziraphale, dreading the addition of another electronic gadget he cannot use to his collection, begs Crowley not to get him anything. He doesn't need anything. But if Crowley must get him something, get him something from the heart. Crowley does him one better, seeing as the present he does get him comes with a filthy Bible and a duel to the death...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,474
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    257
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale helps Crowley with a wheat harvest

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    51
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley tells a scary story, not everyone is afraid

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    746
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    82
  20. Tags
    Summary

    两个花了六千年才捅破窗户纸的傻瓜。
    天使恶魔牌窗户纸,保质六千年!(不是

    Language:
    中文-普通话 國語
    Words:
    7,040
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    174

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