1 - 20 of 175 Works in Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Азирафель нахмурился.
    - Тогда, как ты говоришь, если тебя развоплотить, то искушений будет еще больше?
    - Именно это я и хочу сказать. Не говоря уже о том, что они будут лучше, еще эффективней. И, возможно, более насильственными. Многие демоны наслаждаются подобным.
    - А ты нет? - тихо спросил Азирафель.
    - О, - Кроли моргнул. - Эрм. Нет, я имею в виду, мне нравится насилие. Мно-ого насилия, ага. Все это. Крики. Эрм.
    - В самом деле, - ответил Ангел.
    Благословите его.

    Эта история об Азирафеле и Кроули, начиная с Эдема и заканчивая неудавшимся Апокалипсисом, со сценой раз в десятилетие, в каждое десятилетие, и так 6,000 лет. Я описываю преимущественно из сериального канона с элементами книжного, опираясь на Библию и исторические факты.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    9,172
    Chapters:
    15/604
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    42
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale Fell has been working at Heaven's Gate, Inc for the better part of twenty years as an assessor of orphanages for children with magical abilities. His life had been perfectly normal and beautifully boring until the day he was summoned to the Office of the Archangels and given an assignment that will turn his life on its head.

    (Note: this is a crossover with TJ Klune's The House in the Cerulean Sea, and while I recommend that you read it, it's not necessary to do so to understand the plot of this fic!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,676
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    196
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Earth needs creatures and The Almighty has extended the honor of generating ideas to the angels. Aziraphale proposes (and defends) his plans for the Kakapo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    118
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When Crowley decides to take a post-apocalyptic nap, Aziraphale waits with increasing anxiety for him to wake up.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    50
    Hits:
    315
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and Gabriel have a history together.

    Gabriel is the only one who knows about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,350
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    525
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale frowned. "What you’re saying, then, is that discorporating you would cause more temptations in the end?”
    “That’s exactly what I’m saying. Not to mention, they’d be better quality, more efficient temptations. And possibly more violent. A lot of Demons really enjoy that sort of thing.”
    “And you don’t?” asked Aziraphale, softly.
    “Oh.” Crawly blinked. “Erm. No, I mean, I really like violence. Big violence-er, me. Always calling for more violence in Hell. I like a good flaying, y’know. All that. Screaming. Er.”
    “Indeed,” said the Angel.
    Bless it.

    -

    This story follows Aziraphale and Crowley's experiences from Eden to the failed Apocalypse, with one scene per decade, every decade, for the entire 6,000 years. I'm drawing predominantly from show canon, with elements of book canon, as well as Biblical and historical inspiration.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    139,106
    Chapters:
    226/604
    Comments:
    311
    Kudos:
    179
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    4759
  7. Tags
    Summary

    There was a bit more behind the body swap than simply switching places. Crowley's curse couldn't show on Aziraphale's person, after all. Aziraphale with snake eyes or sunglasses and a snake tattoo would've been more than a little suspicious.

    They come up with a way to overcome that hurdle, but it's a bit more intimate than either were expecting, and it's a miracle it doesn't backfire on them. Demons are weak to Holy, after all, and what's Holier than pure, unadulterated Angel?

    But it works out. And they come out the other side no worse for wear. But with Aziraphale no longer following Heaven's orders, he has the freedom of deep introspection for what feels like the first time since The War 6000 years ago. And he makes the most out of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,528
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    233
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Perhaps, there were no cards in this game of existence that had yet to be overturned. Each hand not so perfectly placed, and yet losers preached their luck in shouts of crowns and snake tongues. They had come to the end, where elements of earth lay only in the deal of Eden.

    And, perhaps, just maybe, fire could be comforting, a force against rain when that rain changed from pleasant to chilling.

    (Title and work based on Passerine by The Oh Hellos)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    63
  9. Tags
    Summary



    When war breaks out between Heaven & Hell, Heaven takes demons as slaves.
    Aziraphale and Crowley struggle to maintain their own side, but it’s only a matter of time until Aziraphale is forced to take ownership of Crowley.

    However, demon slaves are highly coveted and Crowley’s new status is far from ideal.


    General themes of slavery, sexual coercion/ dubious consent.
    Tags will be added with new chapters, please always double-check.
    I've tried to highlight particularly tag-heavy chapters and make them skipable, though mentions of their content will recur.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,192
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2853
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The angel holding the needle smiles and pats Aziraphale’s shoulder.

    “Relax,” he says. “This isn’t a punishment.”

    --

    Mix equal parts Indulgent Whump and Angsty Character Study, add several dashes of one of the author's Worst Phobias, shake well and serve in an oversized glass. Pairs great with Suspicions One May Be Losing It.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,232
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    302
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “I’ve always reminded you, again and again, that I’m an angel and you’re a demon,” Aziraphale whispered, “but…neither of us deserve to be what we are.”
    Crowley made some sort of sound in the back of his throat, one of those ones Aziraphale had always loved interpreting. Now, he had no idea. He couldn’t think about it. He was simply tired. Drained, hollowed out. He didn’t want to fight anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,587
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    452
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley is surprised when Aziraphale wants things between them to move very fast after the apocalypse doesn't happen. But Heaven isn't done with Aziraphale yet.

    “There’s really no reason to prolong this,” Gabriel said. “It’s unpleasant for all of us. Aziraphale, we may not be able to destroy you, but we can teach you a lesson. If you lie down with serpents, you will get up with scales.”

    “And I don’t think there’s any doubt about the lying down with serpents,” Uriel added.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,335
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    153
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    680
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Where are you going?
    Are you good enough for
    HEAVEN?

    The billboard is large, eye-catching, and effective. Aziraphale can't look away from it — and he can’t look away from the old fears and feelings suddenly, again, cluttering his consciousness.
    Not good enough, never good enough, never…

    (Angst dialogue prompt fill #3.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    500
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    380
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Aziraphale was tired of the ineffable ways of the Almighty. She was tired of watching every human that Crowley cared too much about be taken away from her. She was tired of the bureaucracy of Heaven and the stupid angels who thought themselves so far above the humans. She was tired of her gleaming scythe. She was so tired and could no longer defend her blind faith to the Great Plan while a demon mourned an innocent child who had never lived."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,170
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    40
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale is caught, sans flaming sword, during the Great Heavenly Audit that precedes the Great Flood, and is locked away with the Watchers and a few other angels who have very clearly disobeyed, but also have yet to Fall. From there a small series of dominoes begin to fall, which becomes a cascade around the time King Solomon is building the First Temple.

    Heaven looks down upon the demons enslaved and thinks "this is a good idea", while Hell, being comprised of demons currently being enslaved, thinks "this actually really sucks". From there things wildly diverge. Crawly becomes Crowley in a Hell that feels indebted to him for their rescue, and also finds to concept of slavery utterly horrifying. Aziraphale, meanwhile, is forced to labor in a Heaven that views him as an increasingly disposable object. It's only when Armageddon is less that five hundred years away that they meet again, after an impatient Heaven drops Aziraphale off in Hell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,204
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    488
    Kudos:
    300
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    7208
  16. Tags
    Summary

    In The Beginning, there was an angel ( or rather a small boy named after one) and a demon ( or rather a small boy who wasn't always well-behaved) and a walled garden.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,969
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    424
  17. Tags
    Summary

    After consummating his relationship with Crowley, Aziraphale is forced to reflect on what his expectations were and whether they were reasonable.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,448
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    305
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The Apocalypse To-Never-Be came and went and the forces of Heaven and Hell are not pleased. Crowley and Aziraphale barely make it away from the military based before they are captured by the each other's respective head offices and taken to each other's respective plains of existence. While Hell's obvious course of action is to make the more-or-less holier than thou angel fall, there's a lot more nuanced planning going into the halfway ethereal demon's punishment in heaven. Especially if said demon has quite a...delicate past in his place of imprisonment. Separated from each other by an ineffable distance and trapped with not so much as hope of every being released. Aziraphale and Crowley must come to terms with their fate, pasts and, the quite possible possibility of never seeing eachother again.

    That is, unless someone from Crowley's past can manage the impossible.

    In which Crowley and Aziraphale are separated. Where Crowley must finally face his demons (without his beloved angel by his side) to have any hope of survival and, Aziraphale must face the ever present question; "are angels and demons really that different?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,406
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    850
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The angel’s face was entirely expressionless except for a very small, almost imperceptible pulling together of his brows. He wasn’t looking at Crowley, just forwards and towards the ground, focused on nothing in particular. 
    “Oh, angel…” Crowley said softly, slightly sadly

    While sorting through old letters from, Aziraphale stumbled upon some old assignment letters from Heaven, which reminds him of all the times he’s fallen short. The reaction this leads to is unexpected, but Crowley takes care of him until it passes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,797
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    799
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Sandalphon visit their acquaintance, Lot, in Sodom, but Sandalphon has a plan they aren't telling Aziraphale.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,064
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    51

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