1 - 20 of 319 Works in Harry Potter is a Little Shit

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    a crack induced oneshot (say hi to dramione!!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    657
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    80
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After living peacefully in Camelot with his very alive parents for ten years, it is time for Harry to go to Hogwarts and into Dumbledore's domain. Thankfully, the goat has no idea that his new potion teacher is actually Merlin himself, having planted himself in the school to keep his son safe from the old man's manipulations

    Fully aware of who he is to the Wizarding world and being completely different from what Dumbledore had wanted him to be with memories of a happy childhood and people who actually care about him, Harry starts his first year at Hogwarts with his best friends Draco and Neville and older honorary cousin Morgan Potter, taking the school by storm.

    What will the Wizarding world do when their so-called "saviour" isn't at all happy with his reputation and will fight anyone who tries to force him into the role and what will Dumbledore do when his most important pawn starts moving on his own and beyond his control? Hogwarts and its residents are about to find out

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,705
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    80
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter enters his second year at Hogwarts surrounded by power, allies, enemies, secrets that whisper to him from the castle walls, and a past that won’t give him any peace.

    Severus Snape prepares himself for another year of keeping the most chaotic student he has ever had the (mis)fortune of meeting alive.

    Welcome to the Chamber of Secrets.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,330
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    162
    Kudos:
    410
    Bookmarks:
    96
    Hits:
    5967
  4. Tags
    Summary

    When Healer Draco Malfoy sees an opening for a Healer in Romania, he's struck with the urge to leave St. Mungo's so they know exactly how much he does for them. Serves them right, the way they treat him.

    Nevermind that Harry Potter is in Romania, big and buff and sexier than ever. Nevermind that he's a Dragon Tamer. Nevermind that Dragon Taming is a dangerous profession and would require Draco to heal Potter often...

    Or

    Draco moves to Romania specifically to be boned by Beefcake Harry Potter and all his friends know it.

    [UPDATES TUESDAY AND SATURDAYS]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    86,995
    Chapters:
    24/30
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    685
    Kudos:
    737
    Bookmarks:
    178
    Hits:
    22838
  5. Tags
    Summary

    And without so much as a glance back, Potter's mop of disorganized black hair vanishes among the throngs pouring into the lifts.

    Draco rakes his nails over his skull, vibrating with a barely-suppressed wrath, broiled passion making him feel weak in his own skin. If Potter is going to be like that...

    This is going to be a lot harder than he thought.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,315
    Chapters:
    13/30
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3063
  6. Tags
    Summary

    In which I get reincarnated into Harry Potter...as Harry Potter. Or rather, a female counterpart named Hava.
    Now, don't get me wrong, I'm usually (or was) pretty chill.
    But, I don't know how you would react, but spending ten years under the fucking Dursleys after watching my mother be fucking murdered in front of me messed me up pretty badly.
    So, after ten years of hell, I decide that I really, really don't have any fucks to give, and why not spend the majority of my second life having fun and causing (mostly) harmless chaos?
    Course, while a noble goal, it's kinda hard when you've got a megalomaniac super-villain out for your blood.
    Too bad the 'power of love' isn't something you can bottle up and throw at him. Wait, actually...I'm gonna try that!
    Shows what you know Dumbledore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,643
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    385
    Bookmarks:
    116
    Hits:
    5167
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Here's what happened. James and Lily had died to protect their son. They had done it all for Harry, did everything they could to ensure his safety and happiness. All for Albus to dump him at Petunia's where he was neglected and abused.

    Lily had seen it, sort of. The afterlife was weird like that. You could watch your living loved ones but not directly. It wasn't like turning on the telly and watching their lives. It was more of a feeling with flashes of memories. She could feel her son's pain, his confusion, his fear, his hopelessness. Every once in a while she could see him too, locked up in his little cupboard, not bothering to cry because he knew that tears would only bring more pain. She could feel his hunger, his desperation. It was eating her alive... Well... Not alive. That was the problem.

    The afterlife was supposed to bring them peace, it was supposed to be their final resting place, but Lily couldn't rest, not when Harry was wasting away in some dark hole and nobody was doing anything to fix it.

    She was his mother, and she was going to fix it. And if that ment dragging her husband and their new friend back through the veil to the land of the living, then so be it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,001
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    333
    Kudos:
    1345
    Bookmarks:
    409
    Hits:
    29841
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Tom Riddle no se dejaba llevar por cosas tan tontas y sin sentido como lo eran "los sentimientos". No habia nadie, ni en el mundo muggle ni en el mágico que alcanzara si quiera la suela de sus zapatos. Entonces, ¿de qué le servía perder el tiempo con personas que ni siquiera le servirían para lograr sus metas?
    Y ahora, ¿qué haría cuando alguien comenzara a causarle... Sentimientos?
    El avada kedabra siempre era una buena opción.

    O, 31 ficlets sobre la relación entre Harry y Tom desde diferentes POVs

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    28,851
    Chapters:
    25/31
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    955
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Daisy is caught between Fred and Kylie, and other classmates are still being thrown into the mix. Kylie Ford of the Weird Sisters is starting in Daisy's year, and our protagonist is definitely excited about that! Also, even though what she tells them is true, the Ministry still won't accept that Voldemort is back.

    A new teacher called Umbridge has been stationed at Hogwarts, and Daisy is going to bring her down! It is Fred and George's last year, and she is going to make it count. She and her twin start up an illegal defence group called Dumbledore's Army and when the Weasley twins leave Hogwarts, Daisy goes with them.

    Then, when she and Harry get a vision, they go to the Ministry to 'save' Sirius. And on top of all that, Daisy has to deal with her growing angel powers and confronting her dad ... her real, angel dad... who could that be? Read to find out!

     

    Book songs - Army (Ellie Goulding) and Closer (Tegan & Sara)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,107
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    300
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In which Harry Potter is Natasha Romanoff, and talks to a voice in her head named Tom as she tries to survive life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,401
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    275
    Bookmarks:
    85
    Hits:
    8572
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Harrie Potter throws a dart at a map of the US and arrives in Charming, California not too soon after the war.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,526
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    141
    Kudos:
    763
    Bookmarks:
    237
    Hits:
    15098
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The Marauder's Generation reads a book about the future and changes the Wizarding World for the better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,314
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    5573
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The Master of Death is not to live and not to die. He is bound to fate forever, to fight and fight and fight. Living for eternity, to be a soldier in one way or the next. Sent to worlds so that he can right the balance. Not too much death, not too much life. To kill and to save.
    Harry Potter sits on a train bench in a place that does not exist and a time that has gone by, and contemplates his life. He thinks of his job, and realizes that his life is simply put, unfair. He should get a refund, or should lodge a complaint with the higher powers. At the very least, he deserves a vacation.
    Or, how Harry Potter gets to relive his life with express purpose of does whatever the hell he wants, because after everything he's done he deserves a break, and if that means causing as much chaos as possible, then so be it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,323
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    541
    Bookmarks:
    161
    Hits:
    8378
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter, hermano gemelo olvidado del 'Niño que vivió', asesinado a golpes por sus abusivos parientes muggles. Pero su Magia no estuvo de acuerdo en morir tan temprano, por lo que cavó profundamente en su alma y sangre y sacó a relucir algo que lo ayudará a sobrevivir y vivir. Pero la pregunta es... ¿Quién lo sacará de su destino cruel destinado?

    Tom Marvolo Riddle, alias Lord Voldemort, ha caído en el más profundo de los vacíos debido a su adicción a las Artes Oscuras. Entonces, cuando su profetizado 'Igual' y enemigo mortal, que también es el guardián de su alma, acude en su ayuda y le ofrece otra oportunidad ayudándolo a recuperarse de la locura, llenando así el vacío que ha sido creado por cruel y despiadado destino, ¿Qué hará? ¿Puede rechazar al pequeño creador del caos de ojos verdes que se declaró a sí mismo como su 'hijo en todo menos en sangre'?

    Dumbledore sólo quería controlar tanto al falso como al verdadero 'Vencedor del Señor Oscuro' y prepararlo para ser el arma perfecta para el Lado de la Luz que se sacrificará al final por el Bien Mayor. ¿Es eso mucho pedir?

    Series
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    220,996
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    3631
  15. Tags
    Summary

    [ 𝐌𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐥𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ]

    ================

    When his parents' business went bankrupt and his family collapsed, Draco was forced to see with his own eyes how one by one his loved ones left him. Alone in this world, Draco realizes that the destroyer of his family's life, the indirect killer of his parents, was Harry Potter, a cold-blooded man, a business leader who has the spare time to destroy and control the small businesses, including Draco's company. Their family life was actually much more peaceful and happier before Harry Potter stepped in and ruined everything.

    Draco hated this world, especially that man. If there was one thing he wanted to do, it was to destroy Harry Potter with his own hands.

    ================

    This is not your usual ordinary romance story. This is a twisted story with shadows lurking from the corner because a love story isn't always beautiful.

    [ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 ]
    This story might be implying something called "Stockholm Syndrome"
    Dark!Harry; Innocent!Draco

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,456
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    238
    Kudos:
    687
    Bookmarks:
    107
    Hits:
    18107
  16. Tags
    Summary

    [ 𝐌𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ]

    ===================

    Draco Malfoy was an actor with a perfect life. Due to a mysterious ritual that took his soul to the era of Ancient Greece, he awakens in the body of the Prince of Sparta, who was about to be married to Ares, the God of War who has a bad reputation in history.

    Having no other choice, Draco was forced to adapt to the era of Ancient Greece and accidentally learns the secrets of the Olympus Gods that were apparently not as written in mythology. Even though Draco knows the long history of Ares' affair with Aphrodite, the Goddess of Beauty, it is increasingly difficult to escape Ares' charm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,704
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    489
    Bookmarks:
    100
    Hits:
    9244
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Potter, the forgotten twin brother of 'Boy-Who-Lived', beaten to death by his abusive Muggle relatives. But his Magic disagreed to die so early, so it dug deep into his soul and blood and brings out something that will help him survive and live. But the question is.. who will take him from his destined cruel Fate?

    Tom Marvolo Riddle, AKA Lord Voldemort has fallen into deepest of voids because of his addiction to Dark Arts. So when his Prophesied 'Equal' and mortal enemy, who also happens to be keeper of his soul piece, comes to his aid and offer him another chance by helping him recover from the insanity thus filling out the void that has been created by cruel and merciless fate, what he will do? Can he refuse the little green-eyed chaos maker who declared himself as his 'son in everything but blood'?

    PS : All characters belong to author JK Rowling.
    Tags may change as the story progresses.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    214,981
    Chapters:
    37/?
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    1324
    Kudos:
    4373
    Bookmarks:
    1041
    Hits:
    150806
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A disastrous trip to a waterpark (thanks, Dudley!) unleashes almost 200 lifetimes worth of memories, and now Harry is stuck as a ten-year-old while his soulmate is a wraith set on killing him.

    A very old and cynical Harry sets about correcting Tom’s poor life-choices while avoiding Dumbledore and his Order’s panicked searches for the Boy Who Disappeared.

    As far as Harry is concerned, the whole world can fuck off. He couldn’t care less he’s finally Harry Potter again, or that he can finally see his original loved ones again. The only thing that matters is getting Tom back safe and sane and with his soul intact.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100,340
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Collections:
    22
    Comments:
    1203
    Kudos:
    6442
    Bookmarks:
    2175
    Hits:
    145687
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Cursed to be reborn, Harry Potter finds a way to survive with a heart cleverly disguised. Harry Potter x $3,000 (the original Pretty Woman script). Rating is mature due to sexual and violent content but the story itself is not graphic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,176
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    316
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Harry overhears three girls gossiping about Tom Riddle possibly crushing on Cedric Diggory. Initially, he feels doubtful, but after very careful observations (not), he theorizes the gossip to be true and sets out to a possible (disastrous (not really)) courier in matchmaking.

    He just has to figure out why his chest feels impossibly tight whenever he thinks about Tom and Cedric together.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,451
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    217
    Bookmarks:
    37
    Hits:
    1880

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