1 - 20 of 1336 Works in Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Are you scared of thunder?" He asked.

    "What? Me? I am Nandor the relentless, I'm a vampire for Chri- for crying out loud! Vampires do NOT get scared of thunder." He clenched his teeth as the room lit up again. "Would you hate me if I was scared of thunder? Huh? Would you walk away? Well it wouldn't matter anyways asshole, I'm not afraid of anything you big dick."

    Nandor is maybe just a little scared of thunder. Just a little.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,189
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    135
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Back in the cool night air, a few snowflakes were beginning to dust the sidewalk when he noticed a familiar smell wafting through the air. He found himself unconsciously following it, like some sort of ridiculous cartoon character. He couldn’t remember why it smelled so familiar but it did, and his curiosity got the better of him. He just had to know what it was. He followed the smell to a small bakery that he had never noticed before. 

    Memo’s Bakery, read the lit sign out front. 

    He pushed open the door. 

    _____

    Guillermo was beginning to pour the glaze over the Persian love cakes when the bell to his shop tinkled, alerting him to a customer’s entry. Shit, he must have forgotten to flip the sign over to “closed” again. He looked up, about to apologetically tell them that they were actually closed for the night, when the words caught in his throat and died before reaching his tongue. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,838
    Chapters:
    6/15
    Comments:
    131
    Kudos:
    163
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1340
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The wayward thought stops her in her tracks just as she’s about to fix her hair. Had she been dreaming yesterday, or did Gizmo really say that he and Nandor weren’t lovers? It sounds preposterous now, and Nadja wonders if she'd had bad blood the night before. She isn’t stupid, and even an idiot could see that the two of them spent most of their time fawning over each other like teenagers marrying for love.

    “Bloody gods,” Nadja gasps. “They really are stupid.”

    -

    or: Nadja thinks that Guillermo and Nandor are together. When she finds out otherwise, she and Guillermo have a conversation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,810
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    299
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “And….and such big teeth you have, grandmother,” he finishes, feeling his feet brace themselves instinctually.
    “All the better to eat you with!” Nandor roars, throwing himself off the divan, but Guillermo has already turned on his heel and is fleeing to the doorway.

    --
    Nandor suggests some roleplay. Guillermo agrees, regrets it, and then doesn't.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,588
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    369
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "Sheesh. You let your bodyguard stick his dick into a vampire one time and all of a sudden he starts acting like he owns the place."

    Nandor is a brat. Guillermo likes it.

    This is all an elaborate excuse for me to psychoanalyze their attachment styles

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,016
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    839
    Kudos:
    1299
    Bookmarks:
    163
    Hits:
    27565
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Eating out gone wrong yet again

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    153
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    154
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor has lots of time to think while he's on the train by himself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    936
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    143
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "Yes, well… I remember Nandor as well. And I also remember you saying, very clearly, that you would like to never speak to him again. Or see him. Or sit next to him or acknowledge him or think about him on account of him being a—what was it...? Ah, yes, a big stupid shit-dumb idiot man."

    "Yep. I remember that, too."

    "Yes, well. About that—"

     

    When preparing for Nadja’s wedding, a heart to heart with his soon to be married mistress reveals to Guillermo that among the guests arriving is Nandor the Relentless; his former housemate and master, with whom he seems to share an undisclosed and tumultuous romantic history. Guillermo must find a way to keep his own feelings in check when faced with his greatest regret–and a clumsy but well-meaning madcap matchmaking scheme–and make sure his new mistress’ wedding goes to plan in the meantime; no easy feat where his vampires are concerned.

    Will Nadja and Laszlo be happily married at long last? Will Nandor and Guillermo find their happiness in the process? Or will uninvited guests, an abundance of pride and a bloody big curse lay waste to the best laid plans?

    Much Ado About Nothing, the WWDITS version.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,518
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    459
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “You’re the new blacksmith, right?” The baker says, stepping back behind the counter. Nandor dumbly follows him, watches rapt as he leans on an elbow, face turning in his palm. Coy.

    “Yes. You stopped by last week, I remember.” Nandor fumbles with his hands, looking around the little cafe. There’s barely anyone here. They can talk.

    “What did you think?”

    -------

    A new blacksmith comes to the pier, and Guillermo doesn't know what to do with himself. They take up a whirlwind situationship that gets complicated when he finds out the man is a vampire. Maybe it would be easier if Guillermo didn't want to be one so bad. Maybe it would be easier if Nandor didn't hate himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,524
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    218
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    4011
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo had been so frozen since the moment the dancer walked out on stage he thought there was a chance he might be dead. Were there vampires in the afterlife? Surely not. It was like the man had walked directly out of his most secret fantasies. As each item of clothing came off, Guillermo felt something ratchet up inside him. When he ripped his shirt off Guillermo began to get genuinely concerned that he would come in his pants surrounded by half the staff of Panera Bread.
    ---
    At some point in the 90s, Nandor took up stripping as a hobby, so he and Guillermo meet slightly differently.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,915
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    118
    Kudos:
    180
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2422
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo de la Cruz didn't ask to inherit his grandfather's ranch. He didn't ask to suddenly be responsible for ten horses and ten acres. And he certainly didn't ask for a kind stranger to show up on his porch one morning, looking for work.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,336
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1394
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo de la Cruz just wants a holiday. If that involves traveling across the world with his Nandor and finally, getting him to turn Guillermo into a vampire – that's even better! Crazy witches and terrorists were not on the list.

    Nandor the Relentless is resolved. And he won't relent till he sees it through. Unfortunately, the universe has other plans.

    OR: how the duo gets eternally married, acquires the van Helsing's (porn) diaries, chill/fights the ghost grandpas and picks up a mongrel along the way 👀

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,164
    Chapters:
    7/9
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    431
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “Well, I too am happy for you, Guillermo,” Nandor interrupted with a wide smile. “You’ve been so lonely for so long–”

    “I mean, I wouldn’t say that–”

    “And now Freddie filled that void with his penis. That’s wonderful for you.” Nandor was still smiling as he got to his feet. “Anyone hungry? Guillermo, would you mind using your telephone to do a Doordash? I’d like to kill a delivery boy right about now.”

    or; Guillermo gets in a new relationship while he and Nadja are in London. Nandor takes it almost too well for his liking.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,867
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    575
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When Guillermo first started working for Nandor, he never would have thought to give him time off for meals. But things have changed, and so have they.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,944
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    352
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Guillermo is locked in a coffin. Nandor thinks he's been abandoned. Laszlo has taken on responsibility that means he is no longer fucking or sucking. And of course, Nadja is not pleased with any of it. Scattered across the globe, they're forced to confront their personal damage, and figure out how to move forward.

    A season 4/hiatus fic, where every chapter is inspired by a song/lyrics by The Mountain Goats. You do not have to know anything about the Mountain Goats to understand this fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,581
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    236
    Kudos:
    310
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    6015
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “By the way, what are you guys, exactly? Familiar and master? Boyfriends? Pet?”

    “Bodyguard.” Guillermo said quickly before Nandor could voice his opinion. “I’m his bodyguard.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    491
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor finds out Guillermo loves him and his whole world comes together. Everything is fine now, right?! Wrong. Guillermo rejects him, and Nandor is left crestfallen. Until he realizes, he will just have to show Guillermo how much he loves and appreciates him! Cue Nandor doing everything he can think of to romance Guillermo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,308
    Chapters:
    3/7
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    271
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2291
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Nandor sufre de una manera de la que ha intentado huir años como resultado del abandono de Guillermo en la estación y los anteriores eventos desafortunados que ha sufrido en la última semana.

    Series
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    402
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    12
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “So, just to clarify,“ Guillermo said though gritted teeth. “My options are death or possible brain damage. The third option— the people I’ve come to think of as my family decide to trust me— is not on the table?”

    “No,” Nadja said sharply.

    “‘Fraid not, chap. Too risky.”

    Guillermo looked to Nandor. “Master?”

    Nandor held his chin high, even as his eyes wavered. “It is death or enthrallment, Guillermo. But we are letting you choose.”
    ~~~~~~~~~
    A season 3 canon divergence in which Guillermo has approximately 7% more self-respect and leaves the vampires in episode 1. He only goes as far as Ashley street, but it’s a start.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    76,341
    Chapters:
    16/24
    Comments:
    356
    Kudos:
    500
    Bookmarks:
    115
    Hits:
    7172
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “You must eat everything,” Nandor murmured, tenderly stroking Guillermo’s full belly. “I have not eaten for thousands of years, Guillermo. I have not had the taste of a human food on my tongue since I knew the thrill of air in my lungs and the beat of blood in my veins. You are my stomach, Guillermo, you are my tongue, you are my window to the pleasure of food at last.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,354
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    613

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