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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Harrowhark Nonagesimus is this close to graduating from high school early and escaping all of her dreadful, hormonal peers. Unfortunately, a rogue physical education requirement - and her own hatred for shorts - forces her to join the school's fencing team.

    Friends are a waste of time, in Harrowhark's opinion. The loud, muscular, extremely attractive saber fighter is determined to kill that opinion super dead.

     “The question, my lugubrious lady, remains: what in the crypt-keeping fuck is your deal?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,820
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    185
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1435
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When Harrowhark orders Gideon to travel across the country and help fix up the Emperor’s hometown farm, she reluctantly agrees. After arriving in Stardew Valley, nothing is as it seems. Is this really about fixing up a dumpy old town? Why are people going missing?

    The Stardew Valley x Locked Tomb AU nobody asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,111
    Chapters:
    5/15
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    251
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “What do you want?” Harrow asked, and without even a second of pause, without a single thought beyond yours and more, Gideon said: “Everything. I want it all.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,224
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    157
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon and Harrow are lost in the forest, with no clue how they got there. They find shelter at a strange Inn, but alas! There is only one bed. Whatever will they do? If you guessed "probably fuck," you may be right.

    AKA The "How many tropes can fit in one kinkmeme fic?” fic.

    From the TLT Kink Meme prompt: "There is only one bed.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,786
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    29
    Hits:
    215
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus is dead. But she might not have to stay that way.

    Gideon has a plan to bring Harrow back, but as with most of her plans, it isn't long before everything goes sideways. With the two of them stuck sharing Gideon's body, and Harrow's body being held hostage, they find themselves in a desperate race against time to get it back before Harrow's magic absorbs Gideon's soul.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,787
    Chapters:
    6/15
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    960
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a scion in possession of a dying House must be in want of a wife. Preferably one with resources. Harrowhark is a house scion in need of a wife. Gideon Prime has the universe at her fingertips. The only problem is: they absolutely fucking hate each other. No offense.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,625
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    108
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It figures that the only college with the badass Cavalier program is also the college that Harrow Nonagesimus wants to attend. Oh well. Campus is big, right? She'll probably never see that pointed little face again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    89,848
    Chapters:
    28/30
    Comments:
    387
    Kudos:
    618
    Bookmarks:
    109
    Hits:
    12091
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Harrowhark Nonagesimus is a gifted young woman, applying for Classics at Oxford's Canaan College. She is also a practioner of magic, applying for the more secretive Thaumaturgic program, and is willing to do whatever it takes to pass. Including having Gideon pretend to be her familiar, despite their long, awful history together.

    But Gideon is not her familiar, and she is not any practioner. She is a diabolist, and if she is discovered it will mean far worse fates than simple failure. And can she really trust her fate to Gideon, when Gideon is a demon?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,755
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1100
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Did you, uh, have plans for the day?”
    “Well,” Harrow said, adjusting the tank top so she was once again properly attired, “I thought we might try fisting again.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,005
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    277
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Hanging half her torso out the window, Harrow twists her neck in the air. Doesn't even care that she's tits-out to the world, not with that scent on the tumultuous breeze. It's always such shit when Harrow gets like this.


    Gideon Nav returns from the war and finds a job as a vampire’s snack bodyguard. She thought she knew what she was getting into. She was wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,335
    Chapters:
    1/11
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    148
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A tournament to decide the next Imperial heir? Bitch, please.

    It wasn’t even the heirs that would be fighting, they got to stay all safe and wrapped up in the stands while their cavaliers did the real work of duking it out in the ring.

    How did that make sense? The heir with the best taste in cavaliers gets the throne? Gideon’s not sure how that qualifies someone to rule a kingdom but she’s also not sure what’s actually involved in ruling a kingdom, and anyway it’s not like she’s the one who might end up on the throne, so whatever.

    She gets to hit things with her sword, spend some time outside the oppressive darkness of Drearburh, and maybe possibly impress a Cohort officer enough that they whisk her away to be a hero on the front lines. What more could she ask for.

    “Griddle.”

    Oh, right. She could ask not to be stuck in a rolling crematorium with the princess of darkness.

    -------------------------------------------------------

    A Medieval AU with no necromancy, a bit of sword fighting, and lots of sexual tension. There is a ball, but it’s not that ball.

    Contains spoilers for HtN.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,808
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    353
  12. Tags
    Summary

    For the TLT Kink Meme prompt: Gideon/Harrow body paint.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,135
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    295
  13. Tags
    Summary

    At first, she had slept. She’s not even sure how long it lasted; how can one mark time in the white blank bliss of oblivion? But then, the dreams had begun. Snippets at first. An alien ship, familiar faces; Ianthe’s disdainful washed-out loveliness, the dark, unassuming features of the Emperor Undying, the violently unwelcome Ortus- no, Gideon the First.

    And yet, Gideon’s (her Griddle, not that desiccated ass) roguish, lopsided grin is excruciatingly absent. Lucid dreaming is clearly a pernicious fiction, because Harrow can’t manage even for one brief instant to relive the certainty of those strong arms eclipsing her like gravity in the weightlessness of dense saltwater. In rare moments of clarity she finds herself wishing that, if the dreams weren’t to be of Gideon, they might cease entirely and leave her to rest in tranquil nothingness.

    They do not.

    -------

    Currently updating so this can be read in tandem with the last several chapters of I will call you pretty darlin’: please follow posting dates OR read this after completing previous installment.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,569
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    264
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Harrow is stressed. Her cavalier, ever the gentlewoman, has a solution in mind.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,778
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    342
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “The house itself was built from stone, but was so large Harrow let an involuntary breath of air escape her mouth. The barn was, well it was a barn so it was doing its job. The van chugged through the open gate and up the winding driveway that split the land in half. The house loomed above them as the metal contraption came to a stop five feet from the door. 

    As the trio disembarked, Harrow was hit by the realisation that this was really happening. She was really going to work on a farm, with strangers, for over a year. Her hands quickly became cold. Before Harrow could change her mind, the van was already running as quickly as it could back down the lane. 

    They had officially arrived at Fifth House Farm.“

    OR

    A group of teenagers, turned unlikely friends, learn that healing comes in many forms, and through trials, hardships, love, and friendship they’ll overcome their demons.

    OR

    Three juvenile delinquents are sent to a farm to work. Things quickly get out of hand.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,144
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    265
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Her Divine Highness has dreamed for years of the Ninth, including its Lady. When her father arranges a ball for the House heirs she finally gets the opportunity to meet with her obsession face to face.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,507
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    185
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, but luckily, she soon finds a house on a hill and in it three helpful women inviting her to stay for dinner.

    (She is the dinner. Because they are vampires.)

    (And then they have dessert.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,830
    Chapters:
    5/7
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1283
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Griddlehark reunion. Angst. Dramatiques. Kissing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,651
    Chapters:
    4/7
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    121
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1202
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon Nav, werewolf and hottie, is kidnapped by the Blood of Eden vampire coven. Turns out they want a favor. Too bad the smell of her blood makes them all sick.

    Well, not all of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,025
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    192
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon reflects on the New Year, her friends, and Harrow.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,775
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    594

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