1 - 20 of 114 Works in Georgie Crusoe

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Don't think we get those sorts of spiders on Piffling, Ms. D," the man- Eric, apparently, ooh, what a shifty name- assures her, leaning in close to inspect Rudyard like a bug under a microscope. Which, to be fair, is rather closer to the truth than Rudyard would like. "We're a fair way from Australia!"

    "You never know these days," she says sagely, leveling Rudyard with her trademarked suspicious squint. "All sorts of things stowing away aboard ferries and hot air balloons and whatnot. One never can tell what might tumble out of the cargo hold..."

    For once, Agatha, Rudyard muses, returning this strange man's gaze with an eight-eyed glower of his own. I couldn't agree more.

     

    In which Rudyard is cursed to be even more unpopular than he's accustomed to, and Chapman is a charming newcomer with a soft spot for creepy crawlies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,420
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    936
  2. Tags
    Summary

    After months of tension, rival undertakers Antigone Funn and Eric Chapman find themselves in a unique arrangement. With weeks of undercover trysts under their belts, traipsing in dark corners and in hidden rooms—it’s clear that if anything was to be said at all, it would’ve been said already.

    It shouldn’t matter though. It’s just sex. Right?

    Regardless, Antigone’s under quite a lot of strain when her embalming machine malfunctions again. Alarmingly enough, it may not be the only apparatus currently breaking down.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,291
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    59
  3. Tags
    Summary

    He smiles and waves, but he doesn’t understand it. The light in her eyes and the lightness in their banter and the reflection of the sunset in her hair.
    Well, you should run along and enjoy yourself, shouldn’t you?

    Eric Chapman is a funeral director on the island of Piffling Vale. He used to be someone else. He wishes he wasn't anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,111
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    79
  4. Tags
    Summary

    If you liked my first two fics... then I would still tread carefully honestly haha. This is even more self-indulgent and ridiculous than the other ones. I mean, I love it... but I make no promises that you will. 😂

    Just three short chapters of Piffling Vale's resident oddity and charmer getting sick and taking care of one another. Because it's really sort of officially come home to me that it's likely gonna be a while yet until we get season 4 😕 Stupid COVID... So have some more ridiculous and self indulgent fics from me! Y'all deserve it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,187
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    344
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn't anymore.
    Rudyard is a cantankerous, taciturn man without height, charisma or any memorable features. Most people hate him - that is if they recognise him out of the context of his funeral home at all. He is quite used to that by now.
    But that all changes when, by a quirk of fate, he learns that someone on the island has developed some intensely conflicted feelings towards him.
    For the first time in his life, Rudyard has an admirer.
    If only he knew what to do about it!


    Eyes flailing, ricocheting in their sockets Rudyard cast a desperate glance about himself for an excuse, any excuse to further stall Chapman and finally blurted.
    'What about dinner?' This had the desired effect because Chapman's purposeful march petered into a stop.
    'Well, what about it?' He mumbled, facing Rudyard once more.
    'W-would you like to have dinner tonight?'
    'I like to have dinner every night. Now, if that is all you wanted, I guess I might just-'
    'More specifically, would you like to have dinner with me?'
    'Oh, blimey. Well yes, bloody yes, of course!'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,356
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    648
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard's absurd plan with taking nearly half of the pumpkin's from Eric's pumpkin patch is the last thing on Antigone's mind while she spends her chilly autumn afternoon carving pumpkins with Marlene. She does, eventually, have to go home and see what her brother and Georgie were up to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,138
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    40
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman: look, ive been thinking

    Rudyard Funn: oh, was it hard?

    Eric Chapman: i

    Eric Chapman: shut up and let me speak

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,372
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    223
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Am I the asshole for trying to get my neighbor kicked off the island?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,343
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    352
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The Piffling Amateur Dramatics Society's fall production is starting rehearsals, with Georgie Crusoe at the helm. Will Antigone be able to handle the role? And her feelings? And will Miss Scruple play the right notes on the organ?
    All this and more, waiting behind the curtain...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,696
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    110
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When another tragic death strikes the Piffling Traveling Circus, Marlene once again finds herself in Funn Funerals. Although only there for business, her reappearance in Antigone's life sets off everything she had been trying to repress since her overly dramatic confession at the theater.
    Moment by moment she finds herself drawn to the ringmistress and can no longer hide away in the shadows of her mortuary, no matter how dearly she once desired to do so.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,120
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    514
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Prince Rudyard has been trapped in a tower with his sister since they were young. They used to be alone in the woods. They aren't anymore.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,719
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    481
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn and Eric Chapman run two funeral homes in the village of Piffling Vale. They used to both be alive. Rudyard isn't sure if that's true anymore.

    Rudyard becomes consumed with paranoia after a mundane day of petty rivalry goes awry. For everyone else, it's all pretty much business as usual.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,003
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    214
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The year is 1845, and Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,785
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    99
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard & Georgie clash with Antigone & Marlene in a sandcastle building competition hosted by Chapman. However, tensions lay deeper on the sandy beaches of Piffling and Antigone must face her jealous demeanor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,598
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    74
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The nature of undertakers is such that when they inevitably reach rock bottom they will begin to dig. So it's hardly surprising that desperate funeral director Rudyard Funn is relying on increasingly shoddy business practices when trying to beat his relentless rival, Eric Chapman.
    Still, he may have dug himself into a hole too deep even for an undertaker when accepting this commission from Calliope's mother. Namely, to put her daughter off of becoming an undertaker herself (while also burying her uncle). And while the one thing Rudyard excels in is failing, could it be that the one time it actually matters he might just... fail at being a failure?
    Let's find out!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,403
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    186
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn went to his bed looking like himself. He doesn't, anymore.
    Rudyard and Eric swap bodies for a day and things happen. Freaky Friday AU, sort of. Just the body swap part.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,810
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    937
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “Well that was horrible,” Rudyard said. The three employees of Funn Funerals stood inside of the shop as the Carmicheals brawled over Stanley’s grave again.

     

    “Yeah,” Georgie agreed. “That might’ve actually been worse than the first time.”

     

    “Might’ve actually been worse?” Antigone said incredulously. “That was much worse. And now we’re back here again!”

     

    The Funn Funerals staff gets stuck in a time loop that encapsulates the entire first season, which is also the worst month of their lives.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    158
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A graveyard, an inn, and a lighthouse guard the ocean from the shore. This is a story about the five people who take care of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,270
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    212
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Georgie Crusoe can count on one hand the number of people she'd ever addressed as "Sir". Most of these are individuals whom she respects and looks up to.
    And then there's Rudyard Funn.
    But how did her inept boss earn himself the honorary title? This is the tale of that incident!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    119
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Rudyard refuses to help Chapman fill a grave before a storm, they both end up soaked and trapped by the tide. Spending the night in silence in a cave together seems fine but it's getting dark out and the camping light is starting to flicker.

    Or. Chapman and Rudyard get trapped in a cave together and the dark helps break some barriers between them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    484

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