1 - 20 of 64 Works in Garfield the Deals Warlock

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    With Lup missing and he and Taako unable to find any sign of her, Barry Bluejeans had thought things couldn't get any worse.

    He was wrong. Now he's completely alone, on the run, hoping to find a way to fix everything and reunite his family.

    These are Barry's voidfished years, his years wihout Lup, his years forced to play the villain.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,869
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    667
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Camp Faerun isn't a bad camp, per se, but things do tend to go wild on a regular basis. "Wild" doesn't mean that the campers sneak out of the unit to steal ice cream from the dining hall (they do that, but that's not wild. That's pretty standard). "Wild" means that Brian defects to the snotty brat camp across the lake. "Wild" means that Lup and Aubrey become friends and nearly burn down half the forest. "Wild" also means that there's an oil baron trying to buy out the camp, and he's gauging the best way to do that by trying to shut it down via sabatoge, but also taking the weird plantfucking nature specialist on dates? For some reason?
    If you're a new camper here for a relaxing summer, then I can almost guarantee that, despite Duck Newton and Davenport's best efforts, Taako, Lup, Magnus, and Aubrey will get you across the lake in the fastest way possible (they're gonna fire you out of a catapult). So, if you just accept your fate, don't buy the dehydrated water from the camp store, and avoid getting knifed by Duck's weirdo psychopath cousin, then you'll (probably) survive the summer!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,122
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    286
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "The months in Her retinue are long, and the work is hard. Her standards are high, and to satisfy them, Kravitz must be ruthless. But his conviction never falters. She is omnipotent. She is the avenging force of Justice, and Kravitz Her hand. She will keep the kingdom free, and for Kravitz to do her bidding is the greatest honor on this earth."

    "Taako’s fingers curl tightly around the ropes of the Starblaster’s rigging as the ship cuts smoothly through the waves of the Sea of Souls below, his heart pounding in his chest and his eyes on the horizon...In these moments, it’s freedom that hangs sweet on his tongue and settles in his lungs, and Taako loves nothing better."

    It's a pirate AU! You know the rest!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,686
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    246
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    2245
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "Behind the front counter stood an elf, hair loose around his face and shoulders. He had on possibly the largest hat any of them had ever seen, and he was painting his nails a bright shimmery blue, the same color as the mage hand holding the brush."
    --
    Different choices are made by at least two people, which results in Magnus and Merle having a much weirder magic-inclined teammate. Fantasy Costco may still exist, but not on the moon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,552
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    821
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Each waking up with two strangers at his side, Merle, Magnus, and Taako make their way through dangerous situations whilst enlisted by a strange but seemingly well-natured organization.

    Calenture: n. A Feverish Delirium

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,411
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    12
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Our Tres-Horny-Boys find a new bakery opening up on the Bureau of Balance moon base. Taako knows something's up. Merle likes the novelty cakes in the shape of Pan. Magnus feels different.

    Spoiler warning, just in case, y'know?

    ---
    Devoted to 3 of my best gal and non-binary pals.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N-IREy7C9s <---Background music for this entire story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,059
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    54
  7. Tags
    Summary

    You died when you fell.
    You tumbled through the air, a smoking crater in your chest, and hit the ground hard enough to snap your neck.

    You fell, and you died, and for ten long years after that you just kept on dying, over and over and over.

     

    (Or: a series of vignettes as Barry searches for Lup, annoys the Grim Reaper, and tries his best not to go insane.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,833
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    249
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Lup sits in Magnus' kitchen and feels this inkling that something's wrong. She ignores that feeling.

    Suddenly, random flashes of necromantic energy and springing up all around her closest friends only for her to discover no explanations and weird behavior. Something's wrong and she knows it-- but no one believes her, except maybe her brother.

    (Garfield gets his revenge.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,431
    Chapters:
    1/8
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    97
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Garfield is a master businessman. And what good businessman doesn't keep a clone of a local adventure stored in his back room for various nefarious purposes?

    AKA: 5 times Garfield planned to use Magnus's body for evil and one time he actually used it for good

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,521
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    179
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Taako stands in front of a display of seasonal berries, the elderberries right up front.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,389
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    503
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Carey wants to meet up with her friends and live a life of adventure without the Guard breathing down her neck. Killian is on a mission to find, retrieve, and punch someone really hard. Neither of them expected their journeys to converge, let alone lead them to the lost moon of Phandelver.

    A story loosely based on Here there be Gerblins, minus the gerblins, in space! Written for The Adventure Bang 2018.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,044
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    75
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    685
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A Balance Arc Christmas Carol! Coming at you just in time for the inscrutable Candlenights- maybe. We never truly know when it will come.

    Starring:

    Taako as Scrooge
    Lup and Barry as the Marleys
    Magnus and Julia as Fred and Clara
    Carey and Killian as the Charity Collectors
    Istus as the Ghost of Candlenights Past
    Merle as the Ghost of Candlenights Present
    Raven Queen as the Ghost of Candlenights Yet to Come
    Lucretia as Bob Cratchit
    Davenport as Mrs. Cratchit
    Angus as Tiny Tim
    Mavis, Mookie, June, and Keats as the Cratchit Children
    Kravitz as Belle
    Avi, Johann, N0-3113 and Sloane as Partygoers

    And Garfield the Deals Warlock as Fezziwig

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,044
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    240
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Carey quiere reencontrarse con sus amigos y vivir una vida de aventuras sin la Guardia pisándole los talones. Killian tiene la misión de encontrar, capturar, y golpear en la cara a alguien. Ninguna de las dos esperaba que sus viajes convergieran, menos aún que las llevaran a la luna perdida de Phandelver.

    Una historia ligeramente basada en Here There Be Gerblins, menos los gerblins, ¡en el espacio! Parte de The Adventure Bang 2018.

    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    3,312
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Hits:
    40
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Tbh it’s really just me working on my interp of Lucretia.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    941
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    36
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Taako has been working at B.O.B. Grocery for a little over three years now, so by all means he should be numb to the whole process, but he still dreads opening shift at the deli.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,623
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    830
  16. Tags
    Summary

    As soon as Lucretia realizes she's pregnant she knows it's too dangerous to raise the baby herself, but she's given up so much family already, for once, she just wants to hold on.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,866
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    457
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Well how do I describe the only true wonder of the word; there is life before Garfield and life after. You will never be the same.

    (Merle and Magnus get high and married, Avi and Johann get lusty, Garfield gets in on the action)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,790
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    129
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Spoilers for Episode 69 of the Adventure Zone Podcast. Takes place after the final arc of the game and twenty years later. The Raven Queen detects a threat to her domain in the Shadowfell and enlists the help of our boys. But things aren't always goof-goof dildo when you're hanging out with Boner Squad.

    Sometimes the Goddess of Death (and your boyfriend's boss) needs you to see who's hijacking the undead for their own means.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,860
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1445
  19. Tags
    Summary

    When Phandalin goes up in flames practically overnight, world-famous detective Angus McDonald is on the case (whether his services are specifically requested or not). But what to do with its lone survivor? One elven little boy and his umbrella may just hold all the answers... ...and prove to be Angus's greatest unsolved mystery yet. One thing's for sure: it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    93,233
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    1060
    Kudos:
    911
    Bookmarks:
    136
    Hits:
    9408
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Cheesy man time

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    112

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