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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie has accepted that somewhere in his journey of therapy and actually giving a shit about himself, he has stopped believing in capital G god. Eddie Diaz, good catholic boy has suddenly lost his faith in everything that he was raised, and it doesn't hurt as much as he thought it would. His heart aches thinking of himself as a 16 year old, crowded into the pew with his sister, eyes scanning the stained glass portrait of the son of god and wondering how, in this expansive universe of proclaimed perfection that God had created, He had messed up Eddie.

    Or- the author is projecting their religious trauma onto Eddie Diaz in hopes of it going well

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,312
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    105
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Evan Buckley was just a few hours old when he was abandoned at a small church in Pennsylvania. With the identify of his family unknown, Evan was sent into foster care where he'd spend the next 17 years. Eventually, he'd join the Navy SEALs in an attempt to find the one thing he's always longed for: family.

    Considering that he has the worst luck in the world, it was only inevitable that he would lose that family as well. He spent three years in the Navy and two more trying to run from his past before finally moving his entire life across the country to LA. He didn't plan on becoming so attached to his team when he arrived at Station 118 but he soon finds out it was unavoidable.

    He eventually lets the team in, only to get a whole lot more family than he bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,904
    Chapters:
    75/78
    Comments:
    615
    Kudos:
    1252
    Bookmarks:
    290
    Hits:
    63823
  3. Tags
    Summary

    New in Los Angeles, and having recently admitted to himself that he's gay, Eddie figures that hiring a sex worker might be a good way to keep his private life cut off from his job and his son. A way to keep things from becoming too complicated.

    It works. For a while.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    132,884
    Chapters:
    9/11
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    442
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    10900
  4. Tags
    Summary

    maddie struggles with the guilt she feels about leaving her daughter behind

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,675
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    52
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Frank has been treating the 118 for a long time. It was fine that some of the operators got involved…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,717
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    97
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “Sounds like the problem is you think casual sex with a stranger or finding someone new to date are your only options.”

    Eddie’s brow furrows. “Aren’t they?”

    “I mean, there’s always…someone you already know. Who you’re already comfortable with.”

    “Because my pool of male friends who are single and who would be interested in having sex with me has so many options?”

    “Well, I don’t know about many, but you only need one,” Buck points out.

    “And who would that be?”

    “Me, of course.”

    [Or: Frank gives Eddie therapy homework, Eddie misunderstands the assignment, and Buck is just a really supportive friend...right?]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,135
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    134
    Kudos:
    792
    Bookmarks:
    144
    Hits:
    8609
  7. Tags
    Summary

    After Eddie leaves the 118, things take a turn for the worse for Buck as his colleagues slide back into old habits and his new work partner doesn't take no for an answer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,585
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    299
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2792
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Frank’s handsome head tips slightly to the side. “You can’t have love without vulnerability or communication, Eddie.”

    “I know that. I know love is uncomfortable and messy and clumsy. I know love takes work. I guess that’s why I always thought I could make it work with Shannon. I couldn’t do the talking but I could provide for her and Chris. If I gave them enough of me, it would be love, the way it was supposed to be."

    But,” Frank stresses, lips twisting under his impressive beard, “were you honest with her? Vulnerable with her? Did you communicate your needs, fears, and desires to her?”

     

    (Eddie works on his communication skills. He has a lot to say and people who deserve to hear it.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,315
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1689
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Frank asks Chimney to talk about his family during therapy.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,351
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    186
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie can feel the tears streaming down his cheeks as his gaze flickers between Buck’s eyes and his mouth, and everything is so very quiet except for the beating of their hearts.

    “You can kiss me, if you want to,” Buck bravely whispers into the silence that’s stretching out between them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,375
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    551
    Bookmarks:
    78
    Hits:
    2843
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "You're going to fill in this request to get an appointment with Frank and then drop it off with Bobby while I watch so I know it's done."

    Buck looks between Eddie and the piece of paper, frowning a little. 

    "Isn't it supposed to be my choice if I go to therapy? Wanting to be healed and all that?"

    Eddie just quirks an eyebrow, an unimpressed look on his face. 

    OR: Buck finally goes back to therapy

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,251
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2075
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Eddie looks across the sofa to see Buck’s chin cradled in his hands as he watches them instead of the screen, and Eddie hides his face in Chris’ hair because Buck can see the heat on his skin.

    As easy as it is becoming to let Buck in, it astonishes Eddie when Buck is so open and vulnerable with them too. He’s just spent the day taking care of Chris and now he’s smiling so softly and sincerely just watching Eddie and Chris relaxing together. Eddie’s heart beats quickly in his chest and Christopher squirms a bit when he hears it.

    “Are you okay, Dad?” Chris whispers. Eddie nods against the mop of curly hair that he should probably schedule a haircut for soon.

    “I’m really good, Chris.”

     

     

    or Eddie rejoins the 118 following the events of season five, slowly finds himself, and realizes along the way that he's in love with his best friend

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,553
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    491
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    4593
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A question from Frank sticks with Eddie, until he manages to figure out the answer.

    A prequel to Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life, Too).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,726
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    192
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1906
  14. Tags
    Summary

    And Eddie is going to blame Frank for this. Is going to blame him for making him all loose-lipped and insane. He's also probably going to blame his parents, and how they instilled within him an aversion to emotional vulnerability. But Eddie can’t help but say it. Doesn’t want to not say it. Will never not say it again.

    ‘You’re so beautiful.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,845
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    388
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    2163
  15. Tags
    Summary

    He makes pretty cupcakes, a la Linda’s technique and Maddie’s opinion on the frosting, or what he thinks she would say; he knows she likes pastels and buttercream, so. 

    He thinks she would know. She sits down at the kitchen table as he’s frosting and tells him, “You’re dying, Eddie. You’re grieving. You’re hurting. It’s okay. But you’re still dying, Eddie. You’r-“

    He listens to her all night. Chris comes in at some point and takes her place, saying, “I can be brave, too.” 

    This kid must be from the cosmos. He still whole-heartedly believes Pluto is a planet. 

    (Buck does, too but-)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,873
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    708
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Fuck, it’s so stupid,” Eddie says. “It’s embarrassing. I mean, I had one dream about the guy—okay, two dreams, whatever—and now I’m, fucking, tripping over my own feet and knocking things over, and like, my pulse is racing and my mouth goes all dry and—”

    “And you’re sure you’re not attracted to him?” Frank asks. 

    “I—uh. Maybe?” Eddie says, and feels a little like the floor is, actually, opening up and tipping him into free-fall. Because the things he’s just described… they don’t not sound like attraction, if he thinks about it.

    “What the fuck,” he says. “Am I—Frank. Am I gay?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,535
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    71
    Kudos:
    1192
    Bookmarks:
    151
    Hits:
    6762
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dear E.B.,
    It might be morbid to say, and I'm sorry you're going through similar things too, but it's kinda nice to talk to someone who gets it.

    ---

    When Eddie goes to mandatory therapy after his stint in cage-fighting, Frank suggests an online Pen Pal program for him to try out. There he meets, 'E.B.' who he finds easy to talk to. But little does he know that his online friend is many things to him.

    aka the You've Got Mail Soulmate AU

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,144
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1109
  18. Tags
    Summary

    He knew that something else had been brewing under the surface. He could feel it in the way that the happiness and joy he felt from seeing Christopher do well in school or play with his friends was muted; the way the idea of getting better -truly, fully better- felt like nothing more than a hazy, unreachable goal. He knew it in the way that sometimes, when he was driving somewhere by himself, the intrusive thought of turning into oncoming traffic kind of felt less and less intrusive.
    -
    also known as the Eddie suicide attempt fic. Explores Eddie's spiraling mental health and the reality of being suicidal.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,739
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1444
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A jealous Taylor leads to a change in Buck and Eddie's relationship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,715
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    494
    Bookmarks:
    118
    Hits:
    8775
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “I asked if Eddie has attempted to speak your language in the way you have his?”

     

    OR

     

    Where Eddie and Buck learn that they both have different love languages and it's importance to learnt the language of your love

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,589
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    454
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    3726

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