1 - 20 of 32 Works in Evan "Buck" Buckley Needs Therapy

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    After Buck returns to the 118, he’s met with chilly indifference by both Bobby — who he had thought forgiven him at the Rage Room — and Eddie — who refuses to let Buck back into Christopher’s life or his — while Chim keeps his distance as well. Stuck as the man behind, one night Buck is alone in the station when a mysterious duffle bag is left at the bay door. Buck’s life changes radically and he is faced with making choices that will determine his future at the 118 and his relationships with its crew.

    ---

    Another lawsuit AU. I want to say this will end with a happy ending for Buddie, but I make no promises.

    ---
    Edited: Switched chapters 1 and 2 (6/15)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,547
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    309
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    5494
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Buck develops a habit for injuring himself from a young age. That continues as he gets older.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,381
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    270
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    6731
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Hey, Athena,” Buck says, same as he always has. “Bobby’s in his office, you want me to get him?”

    Athena shakes her head; there’s a look on her face that he can’t figure out. He’s seen it before but never directed at him. “He knows I’m here. Is there somewhere we can talk for a minute? Maybe down in the bunkroom?”

    Buck’s eye finally lands on the manilla folder in her hand. The sight of it makes his mouth go dry. “What’s going on? Is this about the missing kid in the hospital from this morning? I didn’t think there would be an investigation about it, he didn’t get very far.” 

    Athena looks between Hen and Ravi then over to Ramirez and John who are playing a video game on the couch a few feet away. “Let’s take this somewhere a little more private, Buck.”

    OR

    In late June of nineteen ninety-one, mere hours after losing her son to cancer, Margaret Buckley takes a baby out of the hospital nursery and decides to bring him home.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,048
    Chapters:
    5/6
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    872
    Bookmarks:
    250
    Hits:
    14945
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "Eddie?" The blond mumbles, staring at the ground. Beside him, his best friend makes a questioning hum. Buck doesn't meet his eyes, feeling his heart begin to pound again.

    When he doesn't say anything else, Eddie knocks his shoulder against Buck's. "What's up?" He prompts, unaware. 

    Buck swallows, and then finally says, "I tried to kill myself last night."

     

    (Or, Buck's been struggling for a long time, and he finally breaks.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,073
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    482
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    3491
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Bobby Nash wasn’t sure what he had expected from his first foster child. Maybe he thought Evan would be some sort of teenage delinquent. Maybe the kid would think he was too old to be parented or be mean to May and Harry. Maybe he would run away or try to get moved to a different home. Maybe he would be nothing but trouble and make Bobby and Athena regret fostering in the first place. They should have just stuck to the plan and gotten a younger kid like Athena had wanted.

    But what Bobby didn’t expect was for the social worker to show up at their house at nine o’clock at night. He didn’t expect for the kid by her side to simultaneously look way too young for 14 and at the same time so much older. Evan was curled in on himself, making him seem far smaller than he should be but the fear and wariness in his eyes was something far too mature for him. Bobby didn’t expect for his first foster child to stand there on his porch, shivering in the pouring rain with nothing but a sweatshirt and a blooming black eye on his face. But what he certainly didn’t expect was for the kid to worm his way into his heart so quickly.
    ______________________

    A series of one-shots of Bobby and Athena fostering a teenage Buck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,780
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    241
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    2023
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Buck has a bad day and it makes him question himself. Eddie’s there to help.

    “It’s what she said. That’s why they had me. I couldn’t save him so I have to save…”

    “Everyone else?” There’s steel in Eddie’s voice, a dangerous edge that glitters, it’s not directed at him though.

    “What do I do when I can’t save them?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,613
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    590
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Buck loses his grip and stumbles backwards. The winch makes a squeaking noise as Buck falls. The rope gets longer and longer because no one is operating the winch.

    He cries out in fright. He hears Bobby's shouts before he falls into the water. A wave pulls him down."

    Eddie takes care of Evan.

    English is not my first language.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,870
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    200
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2251
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Buck had been back at 118 a few months after the lawsuit. He had his team back, but he wasn't happy.

    Bobby, Hen, Chim they all talked to him. But Eddie? He avoids him as best he can. They work well together in rescues. But there are no private conversations and certainly no meetings.

    After a few months, Buck considers a transfer.

    It's only when Eddie sees Buck falling off a cliff that he realizes he made a mistake.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,395
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    594
    Bookmarks:
    89
    Hits:
    18731
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Chimney studies him for a moment. Sounding uncharacteristically sincere, he says, “Eddie’s going to be okay.”

    “He almost wasn’t,” Buck replies.

    “Shit,” Chimney mutters. He finally lets Buck have his hands back and sits down heavily in the chair next to him. “You can’t think that way, Buck. Close calls—they’ll fuck you up, you know? You’ll spend all your time worrying about something that didn’t happen and miss the significance of the stuff that actually did.”

    [Contains general spoilers for season 5]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,206
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    330
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    2637
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Growing up Buck always felt like he was defective, he lived in the shadow of someone he didn't even know existed. After finding out about Daniel things started to make sense. Everything except why he still felt like the caged little kid he thought he grew out of.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,380
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    2263
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Human’s are complicated, they do things dogs can’t understand, like leave…”

    And he just bawls his eyes out.

    Or: Buck watches a movie, breaks down, and gets a hug.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,810
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    161
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1447
  12. Tags
    Summary

    The walls were closing in but he wasn’t strong enough to hold them back. As much as he wanted to clean up the mess he'd made of his life he just couldn’t find the strength. There was no way out... it was just too late. There was only one thing left to do.  
    He tidied the apartment as best he could, donated his clothes to goodwill, emptied his fridge and gave the leftovers to the homeless. All that was left was the hardest part. Writing the letter... The last piece of him his family would have, but they probably wouldn't want. He grabbed the pen and paper and began. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,480
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    4242
  13. Tags
    Summary

    AU: Buck is back after the lawsuit and everyone forgives him. He and Eddie become a couple soon after and are happy.

    Lena has something against it. She has fallen in love with Eddie and hates Buck.

    When her friend Lucy goes to the 118, the two women have a momentous plan.

    Eddie thinks Buck is cheating on him and sends him away.

    English is not my first language.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,236
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    268
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    6475
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Buck was just trying to learn more about himself.
    He couldn't understand why Taylor wouldn't do the same.

    Or "What if Buck was diagnosed with ADHD after the shooting?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,529
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    534
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    4894
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “Why?” Buck somehow chokes out. There are concrete blocks on his chest. They’re crushing him. They’ve been crushing him. But this one might actually break him.

    Eddie looks at him. Finally more than a stolen glance or a brief check. “Because. Christopher. He needs me. I can’t—”

    “You don’t have to leave. You don’t have to quit. Just. Just take a break. Take some time. Then. Then come back. Take as much as you need. As he needs. Take care of him. And you. Just. Don’t… You don’t have to leave.” Please. Please don’t leave. Please don’t leave me. Please.

    Eddie opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and then he says in that soft, too soft, pleading tone that stacks more concrete on the pile, “Buck.”

    Buck turns and storms off. Before everything breaks apart and there are pieces of him scattered all over everyone’s Christmas.

    ~~~

    Eddie is leaving the 118, and Buck is devastated. Since they’re no longer work partners, they have to figure out new ways to hold onto each other and heal from their shared trauma.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    115,279
    Chapters:
    10/12
    Comments:
    368
    Kudos:
    819
    Bookmarks:
    214
    Hits:
    23272
  16. Tags
    Summary

    In which everyone watches Eddie and Buck grow apart, fall apart, and eventually find their way back to each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,599
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    2764
  17. Tags
    Summary

    He was back with the team again. It was exactly what he wanted.

    Except it wasn’t. It so wasn’t what he wanted.

    After the lawsuit, Hen, Chim, and Bobby all forgive Buck and get back to how they used to be.

    Eddie stays angry.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,107
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    338
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    8844
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "Why won't you just let me love you?"

    "Because maybe I don't deserve to be loved."

    OR

    Somedays Buck likes to be comforted and somedays he doesn't, and Eddie refuses to let him go home upset.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,900
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    199
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2256
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Buck looks at Eddie, his face twisting into an expression Eddie didn’t recognize, and that hit Eddie hard. When did they stop knowing each other? He was lost in that thought until Buck said it for him. “When did we stop talking? It's been so long since we were both present, and I mean really present. Where’d we go, Eddie?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,958
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1522
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Clear liquid is spilling from the downed bottle, soaking into the rug underneath the table. Somewhere in the back of Buck’s mind he realizes that isn’t something that should be happening.

    He doesn’t know how to stop it. He can’t see the cap to the bottle anywhere in sight, so he sits listlessly on the couch and watches as the bottle empties itself. Buck wishes he could do that. He wishes he could lie down and let everything flow out of him. He wishes he could pour every thought from his mind. Maybe then he would know peace and quiet.

    The one where Buck isn't coping well. Or at all...with anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,932
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    218
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    1758

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