1 - 20 of 166 Works in Eric Chapman

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn't anymore.
    Rudyard is a cantankerous, taciturn man without height, charisma or any memorable features. Most people hate him - that is if they recognise him out of the context of his funeral home at all. He is quite used to that by now.
    But that all changes when, by a quirk of fate, he learns that someone on the island has developed some intensely conflicted feelings towards him.
    For the first time in his life, Rudyard has an admirer.
    If only he knew what to do about it!


    Eyes flailing, ricocheting in their sockets Rudyard cast a desperate glance about himself for an excuse, any excuse to further stall Chapman and finally blurted.
    'What about dinner?' This had the desired effect because Chapman's purposeful march petered into a stop.
    'Well, what about it?' He mumbled, facing Rudyard once more.
    'W-would you like to have dinner tonight?'
    'I like to have dinner every night. Now, if that is all you wanted, I guess I might just-'
    'More specifically, would you like to have dinner with me?'
    'Oh, blimey. Well yes, bloody yes, of course!'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,237
    Chapters:
    3/8
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    62
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman was asleep. He isn't anymore.

    Thanks to a phone call from Rudyard Funn, he finds himself in Funn Funerals wearing a coat and pajamas, and trying to calm Rudyard down from some sort of breakdown.

    Rudyard has mixed feelings on the matter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,769
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    138
  3. Tags
    Summary

    When another tragic death strikes the Piffling Traveling Circus, Marlene once again finds herself in Funn Funerals. Although only there for business, her reappearance in Antigone's life sets off everything she had been trying to repress since her overly dramatic confession at the theater.
    Moment by moment she finds herself drawn to the ringmistress and can no longer hide away in the shadows of her mortuary, no matter how dearly she once desired to do so.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,126
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    481
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Prince Rudyard has been trapped in a tower with his sister since they were young. They used to be alone in the woods. They aren't anymore.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,719
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    409
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn and Eric Chapman run two funeral homes in the village of Piffling Vale. They used to both be alive. Rudyard isn't sure if that's true anymore.

    Rudyard becomes consumed with paranoia after a mundane day of petty rivalry goes awry. For everyone else, it's all pretty much business as usual.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,003
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    171
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The year is 1845, and Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,785
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    86
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman: look, ive been thinking

    Rudyard Funn: oh, was it hard?

    Eric Chapman: i

    Eric Chapman: shut up and let me speak

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    943
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    135
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard & Georgie clash with Antigone & Marlene in a sandcastle building competition hosted by Chapman. However, tensions lay deeper on the sandy beaches of Piffling and Antigone must face her jealous demeanor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,598
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    58
  9. Tags
    Summary

    The nature of undertakers is such that when they inevitably reach rock bottom they will begin to dig. So it's hardly surprising that desperate funeral director Rudyard Funn is relying on increasingly shoddy business practices when trying to beat his relentless rival, Eric Chapman.
    Still, he may have dug himself into a hole too deep even for an undertaker when accepting this commission from Calliope's mother. Namely, to put her daughter off of becoming an undertaker herself (while also burying her uncle). And while the one thing Rudyard excels in is failing, could it be that the one time it actually matters he might just... fail at being a failure?
    Let's find out!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,403
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    102
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn went to his bed looking like himself. He doesn't, anymore.
    Rudyard and Eric swap bodies for a day and things happen. Freaky Friday AU, sort of. Just the body swap part.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,810
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    834
  11. Tags
    Summary

    '"Am I really the only one who’s noticed that every time we try to sabotage his plans, he just comes out of it better than ever?”

    “Nonsense. If we do it enough, he’s bound to suffer eventually,” replied Rudyard, who had presumably never heard Einstein’s definition of insanity.

    At this point, valued reader, it occurs to me that some context may do you good. You see, Rudyard and Georgie (and Antigone, begrudgingly) had been scheming for weeks for a new way to disgrace the Chapman name and win back some business, after Chapman had announced a truly inexcusable plan, an insult to all values held by Funn Funerals: he would be hosting a Village Tea Dance.'

    (or: fellas, is it gay to slow dance with your rival because he double dared you)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    241
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “Well that was horrible,” Rudyard said. The three employees of Funn Funerals stood inside of the shop as the Carmicheals brawled over Stanley’s grave again.

     

    “Yeah,” Georgie agreed. “That might’ve actually been worse than the first time.”

     

    “Might’ve actually been worse?” Antigone said incredulously. “That was much worse. And now we’re back here again!”

     

    The Funn Funerals staff gets stuck in a time loop that encapsulates the entire first season, which is also the worst month of their lives.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,792
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    113
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Even after thirty-five years and a shared murder investigation with Horatia, Agatha would rather let sleeping dogs lie. Unfortunately, the new Village Archivist is more the type to trip over said sleeping dogs and then boot them off a cliff.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,469
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    278
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes, special events don't need grand parties to celebrate them. Sometimes a few flowers and a bottle of sparkling grape juice are enough.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    205
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A graveyard, an inn, and a lighthouse guard the ocean from the shore. This is a story about the five people who take care of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,270
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    165
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When Rudyard refuses to help Chapman fill a grave before a storm, they both end up soaked and trapped by the tide. Spending the night in silence in a cave together seems fine but it's getting dark out and the camping light is starting to flicker.

    Or. Chapman and Rudyard get trapped in a cave together and the dark helps break some barriers between them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,592
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    366
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Have you ever wondered whether Chapman and Funn Funerals ever reconciled after the events in the uranium mine? Well, fret no more because amends are made and a disastrous Christmas is turned around in "Silent night?" Not bloomin' likely!"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,725
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    197
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Antigone Funn runs a funeral home on the island of Piffling. It used to be the only one. It’s not anymore. Antigone finds herself spending quality time with her competitor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,177
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    103
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Bloody Chapman would truly be the death of him, Rudyard was quickly coming to realise.

    It wasn’t enough that he was always so damn charming, with his smile and his face and his arms and his voice (and really, that’s just too many nice features to have, it’s obscene).

    No, he just had to give Rudyard his spare ticket to this damn conference on the mainland, and it probably wasn’t his fault that the only remaining hotel room was a double, but Rudyard was going to blame him for it anyway because now he was sleeping in a bed with Eric Bloody Chapman.

    --

    (and there was only one bed...)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,098
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    589
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “I’m not interested in, well, anyone romantically. At all. Ever.”

    “So you’re-”

    “And you can’t try and fix me, Chapman, I’ll have you kn-”

    “You’re aromantic, Rudyard, I get it. I’m on the aromantic spectrum too.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,262
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    220

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