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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Twyla really wants to make the first move. To show Alexis that she got everything she wanted and that she’s ok. That she was right about everything she said that day.  

    But she can’t. 

    Alexis makes the first move, per usual when it comes to their relationship, taking a tentative step forward and gripping the strap on her purse tightly, which is the only indication that tells Twyla she’s also nervous. She takes a deep breath, blinks, and the grip on her purse suddenly loosens and a bright confident smile blooms on her face, any hint of nerves that Twyla thought she saw gone in an instant—literally in the blink of an eye. 

    “Hi, Twyla.” 

    --

    Twyla can totally handle her ex-girlfriend coming back into town to plan the 10th Annual Singles Week. There definitely aren't lingering feelings there or anything.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,030
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    169
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Once David's retrieved the two suitcases that carry his only remaining belongings, the driver shifts into reverse and backs away, leaving David alone with the house that has literally haunted his dreams since he was a kid.

    He’d expected it to be less imposing now. That’s what Dr. Lee had told him, during one of their last sessions at the center. Everything looks big when you’re small, right? A bunch of bricks can’t possibly be as scary as he described. Standing here now, though, David can confidently say that Hill House is just as intimidating now as it was back then — maybe even more so, now that he knows what waits for him inside. It towers over him, blocking the light from the sun and covering him in shadow. If that isn’t a metaphor for something, he doesn’t know what is.

    As he stands, frozen, the porch light begins to flicker slowly — on, off, on, off. It’s with a sharp ache in his chest that David remembers Adelina’s rule. He can hear her voice in his head saying, “Porchlight means it’s time to come home.”

    Well, he’s home.

    OR: A ghost story loosely inspired by The Haunting of Hill House.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,429
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    657
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Legally Blonde AU

    David Rose thinks he's going to marry Sebastien Raine, but when Sebastien breaks up with him, David follows him to business school to prove his worth and get him back. Enter Patrick Brewer, who helps David realize he's worth so much more than that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,851
    Chapters:
    4/12
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    956
  4. Tags
    Summary

    David seeks advice from Twyla after returning from the Yoders' farm.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    653
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    29
    Hits:
    131
  5. Tags
    Summary

    David and Patrick watch Ted and Alexis's daughter one weekend, and David confronts two anxieties in one go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,030
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    943
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Once upon a time, in a land not so very unlike our own, men and magic existed side by side. The Lord and Lady Rose, cursed along with their daughter to live as wild creatures of the sky, leave behind a single son, emotionally broken but physically whole. Stricken silent by the same magic that stole his family, he finds a glimmer of hope buried in a conversation with a kind stranger—all curses can be broken, if he simply pays the price. A price higher than anyone has a right to ask: three sweaters, spun and knit from the fibers of a plant covered in barbs that tear into his skin at every touch, rip him open with every stitch.

    He has a year and a day, to work, to hurt, to meet and befriend the townsfolk who took him in after fleeing his parents' home. And one particular brewer, a man who might do more than help repair his torn skin. Who might be the only one to repair his shattered heart. He has no voice, and time is running out—but the ways of the universe are a mystery, and the deepest magics of all are always rooted in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,891
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    1573
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A Bridget Jones's Diary AU.

    What more is there to be said?

    **You don't have to have read the book or watched the movie for this to make sense.** (Sometimes I forget that not everyone is middle aged and therefore familiar with pop culture from the late 90s/early 2000s.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,958
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1920
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Things go awry when Alexis kisses Twyla at a party to make Ted jealous following their break-up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,834
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    301
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Alexis and Twyla say they're just friends. But people who are "just friends" don't tickle each other's necks with their eyelashes – right?

    During one family vacation to New York, David and Patrick make a bet to answer this question and more. (David has a lot of feelings about being back in New York along the way, but that's not a big deal. We don't have to talk about that.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,574
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    987
  10. Tags
    Summary

    David tells Patrick he's ready for a new addition to the Rose-Brewer family byway of a furry friend.

    Title from "Ready Set, Not Yet" sung by the Original Broadway Cast of Beetlejuice

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,494
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    635
  11. Tags
    Summary

    On National Siblings Day, Alexis spends the day with her favorite brother Patrick, and David bonds with Twyla.

    David: Why are you at our house, Alexis?
    Alexis: because i have a whole day planned for us david!!
    David: Why?
    Alexis: because it’s NATIONAL SIBLINGS DAY!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,441
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    155
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    963
  12. Tags
    Summary

    She's beaming at him. He can hear his sister's voice in his head – I know you guys aren't, like, close, but it would really mean a lot to me if you got to know each other better. So he smiles back at her, close-lipped, but a real smile nonetheless.

    When it's time for the newly-branded Twyla's Café Tropical to reopen, Twyla asks David for a favour. AKA: Help me, David-Wan Kenobi! You're my only hope!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    700
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    47
    Hits:
    213
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Inexplicably, no one around town seems to get that Valentine's Day isn't a free-for-all, even if Patrick is out of town. Or, 5 valentines that David doesn't want and 1 that he does.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,259
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    248
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1199
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When Twyla is in the midst of a sexuality crisis, she seeks out advice from David.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,000
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    302
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Because right from the start, there was something about Twyla. Something that made him want to reach out. Something that made him escape into a world that, absurdly, looked rather like the one he was in.

    ***

     

    A story about marshmallows, letting your guard down, and David and Twyla being the purest of friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,767
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    690
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The David-Stevie-Patrick trio seems to have developed a Twyla-shaped tumor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,518
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    461
  17. Tags
    Summary

    david and twyla have a heart to heart after david wakes up from the yoga session in mutt's barn

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,077
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    239
  18. Tags
    Summary

    David is sitting on the floor of his new apartment, drinking with Twyla, Stevie, and Patrick when he realizes he has no idea what he’s doing. David accepts Patrick’s offer to help with the business side of Rose Apothecary and look over his finances. This leads Patrick to make an important discovery or two.

    David is the one who ran away to Schitt’s Creek while Patrick lost his home and wound up there. The Rose’s never lose their money and everyone ends up exactly where they are supposed to be.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,855
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    164
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    4652
  19. Tags
    Summary

    He wanted to come up with some clever retort, something to send a message to Stevie that he was fine, that he would be fine, that he just needed a little time and space for everything to be okay again. But he couldn’t come up with anything. He resorted to silence.
    “David… I don’t know about you, but I miss them. Not just your dad, but your mom and your sister too. It’s weird not having them here. Like Schitt’s Creek isn’t the same.”
    David didn’t want to cry. Stevie had seen him cry before, but he didn’t want her to see him do it again. He wasn’t emotionally prepared for that. He wanted to prove to her that he was okay. He wanted to prove to himself that he was okay. More than anything, he wanted to be fine.

    ...
     
    David misses his family and tries to learn how to live in Schitt's Creek without them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,118
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1085
  20. Tags
    Summary

    David’s ears are ringing, the air heavy on his face. He struggles to take a full breath, gasping at the burning in his lungs before coughing up…something. It’s thick and sticky, bitterly metallic, and it makes him gag. There’s something familiar about the taste, the smell of it, but he can’t place it. Maybe if he could just get a good deep breath. Everything would be better if he could just take a moment and breathe.

    Why is it so hard to breathe? David has never had to remind himself to breathe before, has he? Why does he keep forgetting to do it now?

    Something isn’t right.
    --

    It starts with a bang, and they go from there. The multi-chapter whumpfic that I didn't set out to write but did it anyway.

    11/24 UPDATE: I added the alternate ending as a chapter because I got some requests to post it here, and it has MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Please don't read that chapter if you don't want to encounter that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,572
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    828
    Kudos:
    378
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    11442

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