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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Alternative title: Five times Eggsy had a wank, and one time he had a hand...

    Eggsy Unwin really, really wants to get off. But it's not like there are many opportunities for privacy in the Kingsman training dorms. Or out on mission. Or on a stakeout....

    He'll just have to take matters into his own hands, make the best of it, and hope that nobody catches him - even if he might hope that someone in particular is watching.

    ~~~

    'Anyway he’s up, and his dick could hammer nails into steel, and he’s pretty sure everyone else’s sleeping. And if they ain’t sleeping, well, they fucking should be, and he wants a wank.

    And if Merlin’s behind the glass, well. Tough shit for him.'

    ~~~

    This is a 5+1 that wouldn't leave me alone, and then grew into six chapters of absolute filth. Featuring alll the wanking you could ever want, in all manner of scenarios. It's total, absolute smut, with a big old dollop of fluff, and a teeny bit of fluff that bullied it's way in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,824
    Chapters:
    1/6
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    245
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy Unwin, son of British ex-patriot Lee Unwin and his French-Swiss wife Michelle Unwin is a grad student working on an arduous thesis when he's invited to the prestigious Cambridge University for a year abroad. A young grad named Roxy Morton invites him to stay with her and they get on like a house on fire.

    Only one problem.

    Her two gorgeous uncles, professors at the University, live right next door. Her two gorgeous - completely unavailable - married uncles.

    Even if he could manage more than three words in English or French every time he stumbled into them, they wouldn't be interested... right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    82,705
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    874
    Kudos:
    684
    Bookmarks:
    213
    Hits:
    17759
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After losing his father and their family business to a fire, Eggsy and his mother were left to fend off for themselves in the streets of Victorian London. As years passed they did everything they could and held themselves just above poverty, raising a lovely daughter and sister, whose father was their financial supporter as well as the leader of a local gang.

    Surprisingly, Eggsy's luck turns for the better when finding a murder victim leads him to meet two gentlemen from an intelligence agency. His interest piqued by their ties to his father and an offer for a new job, Eggsy decides to accept the offer in hopes of getting rid of all those secrets surrounding his father's death and at the same time help catch England's most famous killer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,224
    Chapters:
    1/15
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    73
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy is marked down as private property.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,763
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    133
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Cleo Zanara is a 19 year old car crash survivor, a month ago, she was recruited to Kingsman by Merlin. To succeed, she must overcome her fears, and let go of her past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,947
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    16
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Будем считать это первым пунктом плана

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    736
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    25
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Kingsman Daycare takes care and educates the children of the Elite and High Ranking vampires. Eggsy Unwin and his sister Daisy Unwin are popular with the students as well as their parents and guardians. So Eggsy might have caught the eye of some powerful lords but what does that mean for a bloke like him?

     

    Harry and Merlin have been together for centuries, they have fought wars together, triumphed together, and now they have to somehow woo a shockingly young vampire who has more of a connection to them than they realize. Not to mention rival vampires and hunters who would do anything to end some of the most Elite bloodlines in existence.

    Whatever happens one thing is for certain.

    Don't mess with Eggsy's kids.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,576
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    486
    Bookmarks:
    144
    Hits:
    5538
  8. Tags
    Summary

    The backstory of how sex demon Harry Hart was brought to earth and became owner of Kingsman Tailors.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,409
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    640
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Written for the 2019 Kingsman War on Fairytales...Hades and Persephone. Starring Merlin as Hades, king of the Underworld, and Eggsy as Persephone, son of Demeter.

    I'll summarize the original myth here. PLEASE see the notes. I will remind everyone of the Kingsman/myth crossover as we go along.

    Okay, so the basic myth goes like this.

    Persephone is the daughter of Demeter, the goddess of spring and growing things. Hades, God of the underworld, takes one look at her and is smitten. But Demeter wants to keep her close, keep her a virgin forever, by her side. So Hades splits the earth, rides his chariot up, and steals her. Persephone isn't happy, she's quite miserable. Demeter is too, and stops everything from growing because she's so upset. So Zeus steps in and is like, look, send her back. And Hades says I can if she didn't eat anything while she was here...but she did. Six pomegranate seeds. So the deal is made that she has to stay in the underworld one month for every seed. So when she's down there Demeter is sad, and that's when it is fall and winter. When Persephone is up with her on earth, she's happy...spring and summer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,208
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    895
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Eggsy and Harry splitting up may have been a huge mistake.

    Or, the first part of a pornographic AU where Poppy trades her victory for Eggsy, whether the Kingsmen like it or not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,559
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    303
  11. Tags
    Summary
      
    Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, Old Time is still a-flying; And this same flower that smiles today Tomorrow will be dying. Robert Herrick
      
    This is a love story. How it happens, how it's lost; and most especially how it's found again. Sometimes, that's really all you need.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,198
    Chapters:
    24/25
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2194
  12. Tags
    Summary

    After conveying the news about Lee's death to Michelle Unwin, and having her son witness everything, Harry decided to do something about his situation. He watched the mother come down in a spiral of self-pity and addiction, and after watching them for a year, Harry gets five year old Eggsy out of his home to raise the boy himself.

    Of course Harry hadn't believed that raising a child in the Kingsman manor would be easy, but what he got to experience surpassed even his worst fears. He wouldn't have thought that he would get smitten by the boy and his bright eyes.

    Extreme underage fic. Starts with five year old Eggsy getting taken in by Harry, nothing happens until he's really thirteen though. There will be a lot of fluff in Eggsy's childhood before anything even starts for real.

    Please read the warnings though. I will put up warnings for each chapter. If you don't like, don't read.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,262
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    290
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    7213
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Kingsman Headquarters was home to more than just its active members.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    845
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    77
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Эггзи возвращается не совсем в свой дом и встречает не совсем того призрака прошлого, которого ожидал

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    4,018
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    64
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Harry Hart, Director of Acquisitions for the Lepidopteral Catalog at the London Natural History Museum, is on his way home one Sunday afternoon, and encounters a lovely young man selling a rare collection of butterfly books in an antique fair. Of course he has to stop and take a look, and it doesn't take a scientist to see that this young man is as rare and special as the books he's selling.

    Eggsy's a young man working hard to support his mum and baby sister, but the three jobs he's working at barely help make ends meet. A lucky encounter with a posh gent who just happens to want to buy an old set of books he's got might just give him a way out of a life of endless poverty.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,906
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    196
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    1690
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Чарли вдруг шумно вздыхает и машет рукой черт знает в каком направлении: «Выход там».

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,262
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    47
  17. Tags
    Summary

    — Со вчерашнего дня прошло сто лет, ты заметил?
    — Я тоже скучаю.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    845
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    28
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Зарисовка из кэба

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    212
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    33
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Out of all the dynamics there is in this world, Eggsy just had to be an omega. He could've just be a beta like his father and mother, but no. Life sucks. Shit's been going haywire; Daisy is in need to be saved and he's a worrying too much, he hasn't had his first heat yet (stress, how could you!), he's desperate on being a Kingsman, and Charlie Hesketh is being a /fucking/ dickhead.

    But maybe, things would go right this time. With the help of a certain posh but gentlemanly alpha who was saved by his father once, a nagging bald-headed beta who manages the tech, and a new sarcastic best friend who deserves all the good in this life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,659
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1243
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A year after Eggsy last saw Harry, he still is just as confused but like always, he just decides to take the jump.

    Eggsy finally talks to Harry and decided to give them a try. But dating someone that teaches at Hogwarts and don't see for months is hard on a new relationship and in the end, Eggsy and Harry have to decide if it's worth the long-distance.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,104
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    213

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