Chapyard goes off the rails pretty quickly
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Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn't anymore.
Rudyard is a cantankerous, taciturn man without height, charisma or any memorable features. Most people hate him - that is if they recognise him out of the context of his funeral home at all. He is quite used to that by now.
But that all changes when, by a quirk of fate, he learns that someone on the island has developed some intensely conflicted feelings towards him.
For the first time in his life, Rudyard has an admirer.
If only he knew what to do about it!
Eyes flailing, ricocheting in their sockets Rudyard cast a desperate glance about himself for an excuse, any excuse to further stall Chapman and finally blurted.
'What about dinner?' This had the desired effect because Chapman's purposeful march petered into a stop.
'Well, what about it?' He mumbled, facing Rudyard once more.
'W-would you like to have dinner tonight?'
'I like to have dinner every night. Now, if that is all you wanted, I guess I might just-'
'More specifically, would you like to have dinner with me?'
'Oh, blimey. Well yes, bloody yes, of course!'