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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “At the edge of town on the downhill side, beyond the abandoned railroad tracks to nowhere, past the point where the streetlights end but before the world disappears beneath a twisted canopy of oak and black willow trees, there’s a shitty little gas station motel open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week…”

    An SC-themed parody of Jack Townsend’s Tales From The Gas Station (Volume 1) that got completely out of hand…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,236
    Chapters:
    2/9
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    22
  2. Tags
    Summary

    David and Roly Jnr go trick or treating.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,260
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    8
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Senior year has arrived for our protagonists. And with that comes adulthood looming over the horizon...some might say it's the twilight of their adolescence. There are college applications to worry about, identities to form, and...werewolves to fight?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,558
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    285
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Part 2 of “Miracles Don't Take Reservations”.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,788
    Chapters:
    87/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1834
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Everything is the same except David can see ghosts. Pre, during, and post-canon.

    Content warnings for a variety of different illnesses that lead to death, including cancer, stroke, and heart attack. Mind the tags.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,088
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    519
  6. Tags
    Summary

    If you had been at the Grand Reopening and Halloween Party for Twyla's Cafe Tropical, here are some things you might have seen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    191
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    46
    Hits:
    131
  7. Tags
    Summary

    After he's diagnosed with a terminal illness, Patrick blows up his entire life and goes on his dream vacation.

     
    Story is based on the movie Last Holiday. As usual, I’ve only retained the broadest strokes of the movie plot & taken many liberties. You don't need to be familiar with the movie to read this, but I love and recommend it. Queen Latifah is amazing. This was meant to be written with alternating POV by chapters, but David, and especially Patrick, had other ideas and I let them do what they wanted. I think the POV changes are clear, though.

    ***If you need/want assurances about this story before choosing to read it, please click here, but be aware SPOILERS lurk there.***

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,877
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    419
    Kudos:
    262
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    5483
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Between the stark brightness of the sun and the water's reflection, Patrick could have sworn he saw something shimmering beneath the surface.

    This man was the single most fascinating thing he had ever seen.

    "Come back."

    -or-

    The Little Mermaid AU some of you asked for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,245
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    155
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    3644
  9. Tags
    Summary

    From the moment they meet, David and Patrick hate each other. When Ronnie puts an end to their magic duels, they resort to the only reasonable option to get back at each other: a no holds barred battle to see who can be the most annoying.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,976
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    229
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1258
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick is new in town and looking to try something a little outside his comfort zone when he happens upon an interesting store with an even more interesting art instructor. Sparks and paint fly as David tries to make Wendy's store less of a corporate eyesore and Patrick tries to find the courage to ask David out before he runs out of wall space.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,711
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    177
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1288
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Ronnie looks at him over her mocha, a sweet choice of beverage David is continually surprised by, given how salty she usually is. “I have a feeling you’ll be getting that a lot.”

    “What? Swooning ingenues?”

    “People slow to realize that Patrick Brewer is human just like the rest of us.”

    David makes a face because he knows exactly how Patrick would respond to that. An eye roll would definitely be involved.

    Or, this is your half-hour call to Part Two of Favored Nations. Half hour.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,655
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    917
    Kudos:
    580
    Bookmarks:
    106
    Hits:
    10287
  12. Tags
    Summary

    In this ver-Ray special episode of Ray of Sunshine, Ray looks back at some of his most popular interviews and segments, with full transcripts!

    Features interviews with local business owners, investigRAYtive journalism and a very special performance by the Jazzagals.

    Today's episode is brought to you by: Jake's Woodworking, Herb Ertlinger Fruit Wines, Mr. Hockley's Tea, The House Barn, and many more!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,808
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    318
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Twyla brushes her nose against Alexis', certain she feels electricity rippling everywhere they touch. She can smell her toothpaste on Alexis' lips; she wants to taste it, too. "Do you want to kiss me as a friend, Lex? Or as more?"

    Alexis quirks an eyebrow. "You kiss your friends in bed in the middle of the night a lot, Twy?"

    Twyla rolls her eyes, smiling. "I don't, but maybe you do..."

    Alexis and Twyla kiss after Start Spreading the News. They don't stop after that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,918
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    540
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When you’ve been together for 1000 days, it feels monumental. Like some sort of huge accomplishment. At least it feels that way to David, considering that this has gone on significantly longer than any other relationship he’s had before. He honestly can’t even believe that he’s counted. And sure, they’re now married, but there’s something special about hitting a THOUSAND days together.

    Which is why David isn’t all that impressed when Patrick suggests going to a sports bar to celebrate this milestone. Well, it wasn’t exactly for the distinct purpose of celebrating, but more to watch some important sportsball hockey thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,190
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    542
  15. Tags
    Summary

    What if Moira is the one who is pregnant in Season 4 Episode 2?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    55,407
    Chapters:
    202/202
    Comments:
    656
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    7745
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Patrick has just broken off his engagement with Rachel and moved to Schitt's Creek. They were great as friends but any time their relationship progressed, instead of becoming closer they grew further apart.
    Thankfully, he came across an ad looking for a part-time mechanic at Bob's Garage. It had been so long since he had to opportunity to work on cars. He found himself actually excited about the chance to do something different, if even for a short time.
    Patrick figured he'd be able to do a couple months in Schitt's Creek, get himself sorted out and move on.
    But that was before he towed a car belonging to one David Rose, a man who caused Patrick to reassess what it is that he actually wants.

    NOTE- as of the conclusion, I did some editing that I couldn’t before. It’s great what avoiding something for over 2 months will do! I hope it reads a little bit better now though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,482
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    4335
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The toe of his Rick Owens sneaker lands on the first step outside the Apothecary just as the door opens and a smiling dark-haired woman carrying a Rose Apothecary tote exits. David steps back onto the sidewalk to let her pass, then hurries into the store, ready to embrace Patrick and open up his heart and soul to him.

    But standing behind the counter is Ray.

    “Hello, David!” Ray calls cheerfully.

    “Ray.” David isn’t sure he actually holds back his grimace, but as usual, Ray is unphased. “Um, what… what are you doing here?”

    Or, when David gets back from Ted's during Singles Week, he can't find Patrick anywhere.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,915
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    260
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1670
  18. Tags
    Summary

    This AU is inspired by an ask that I sent to @danieljradcliffe whilst I was watching the episode where David talks about being hustled by a postman. It was then when @fraudulentzodiac suggested the following:

     

    AU where Patrick is a mailman and David lives on his route, and they manage to get off on the wrong foot somehow, but David thinks he has to pay him, so Patrick goes with it, since he has to put up with this guy pestering him for his packages, he may as well get something out of it. But then Pat starts liking him and has to confess he doesn’t need to pay.

    This is also partially inspired by Noah's Gemini Album, please enjoy! I will update it as much as possible. Tags will be added as the story goes on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,047
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1019
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Can you give me anything else here? Who is he? Why is he unhappy?”

    “David Rose. And I’ll let you figure that out. Let’s just say he’s very protective of his brand and how it’s marketed.”

    “Ah, a client who thinks he’s in advertising - creative is going to love that.”

    “Well, getting to see him and Ray go back and forth during a presentation might be worth the headache. I may even stop by to watch.”

    “Is this your best pitch?”

    “It’s not a pitch, it’s a favor. You don’t have to call him.”

    Patrick shrugged. “You know I like a challenge.”

    *** 

    The Mad Men-inspired AU no one asked for

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,645
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    227
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    3881
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Ronnie is blinking at him like David just announced he wants to take tap lessons so he can headline a revival of 42nd Street.

    “Patrick Brewer,” she drawls, eyebrow raised in what might be respect. Incredulity, but respect. “David, when I said you needed a name to get your next project off the ground, I didn’t expect you to point to the cover of People Magazine and say, ‘ah yes, him.”

    “Excuse you, it was Vanity Fair.”

    Or, a music superstar and a disgraced theatre director try to find common ground in the state of Denmark.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,112
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    353
    Kudos:
    386
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    6114

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