1 - 20 of 343 Works in Blackbeard | Edward Teach & Israel Hands
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Edward Teach is one of the most famous chefs in the world, working under the handle Chef Blackbeard. Not one to be tied down, he does random pop-ups in all types of kitchens, and for the absurdly wealthy, he caters special events.
Stede Bonnet wants to throw the best engagement party ever for his ex-wife and best friend, Mary. His assistant recommends the extravagant work of Chef Blackbeard.
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God, that face. Izzy can barely look at it. The cut of his jaw, the downward turn of his mouth, the stubble. Was he shorn as some sort of perverse punishment? Did he decide to do it himself—some kind of ritual shedding of his namesake after being captured? Did Stede fucking Bonnet do it? Bonnet, that fucking twat, Izzy has to know—
“Did Bonnet finally get himself killed, then?”
Or: Five times Izzy and Ed didn't speak the same language. And one time they did.
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Edward Teach removes himself from everyday life to escape an old history that he's sure is still following him. He's been living in the mountains by a small town for years, living on his self-established homestead to stay as off the grid as he can. He seems to be the epitome of rugged manliness; something a soft-handed, well-off man admires greatly. He's got the life Stede Bonnet could only imagine in his distant day dreams.
So when the well-off man wants to help out and learn the ropes of how to live such a rugged life, what can Ed do but try and help him keep an axe blade out of his leg?
If he survives the experience, maybe Ed can start returning all the pieces of Stede's wardrobe he keeps collecting. -
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Takes place eight weeks after Season One ends. During a discussion of what love really means Edward convinces Izzy to sing him the song he wrote for the one person Israel ever loved. It doesn't take Ed long to realize it's a song about him.
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Izzy Hands cheats at cards, picks some pockets, and steals Ed’s heart.
Series
- Part 1 of Run the Tables
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Edward Teach never liked his pirating lifestyle.
He and his crew were to spent time in the town of Revenge, to recollect themselves before the next adventure.
But due to an unpleasant encounter with one "Calico Jack", he runs off into the nearby forest.
And discovers an abandoned palace.
Ed thinks this might be his best bet, to live another life rather than his own.
But it turns out, the palace might not be as abandoned at he thinks.
Series
- Part 2 of OFMD Beauty and the Beast AUs
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When it all went wrong & when things tentatively got reconnected again. A brief study of Blackhands in two parts.
Fic inspired by prompts 3 and 4: Exchange + You're a work of art.
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- Part 3 of OFMD Drabbles & Shortfics
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What if Stede's only a brief obsession to Ed? What if it's not him that falls in love, but Izzy?
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A fic that follows the major plot beats of canon, but with a little twist.
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It all started when Ed during his Kraken Era found a baby on a ship after killing their parents. Despite everything, he finds himself taking the child back to the ship with him despite Izzy's protests.
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What Pirates Do In The Shadows by JyanJJ
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
29 Jun 2022
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Stede, Ed, and Izzy are vampires living together on Staten Island in 2022. This isn’t an AU; they were all turned when they were pirates and have been roommates for centuries. Stede and Ed are happily married, but energy vampire Izzy is still a grumpy sad sack pining over his former captain. Will Izzy be able to move on and find love with Colin Robinson? Find out, in the new documentary: What Pirates Do In The Shadows.
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There is nothing Izzy wouldn't do for his captain. Even if it means debasing himself and submitting to torture in Ed's place.
Series
- Part 17 of Merry Whump Of May
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The camera’s on. They think he doesn’t notice.
[...]
“You wanna hear about the big 419, right? Charles Vane? Kids in the woods?”
That’s all people want to hear about. All it comes down to, the bad guy’s exploded skull and a starving little boy in his arms, or the newspaper flashing in front of everyone’s eyes, the cameras flashing at the press conference. He looks down, when saying it.
“Yeah, sure. That too. Tough you weren’t the only man on that case, right?”
Which makes sense. Which makes his breathing stop for a minute. The first page, the flashes, the dying little boy in his arms, the man besides him carrying a dead girl.
Ed grins.
“You wanna know ‘bout Izzy, don’t ya?” -
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When a misunderstanding spirals out of control, Stede asks Ed—his best friend he’s secretly in love with—to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex-wife’s wedding. And when Ed—who’s also secretly in love with Stede—agrees to it, things get messy.
A Blackbonnet fake dating modern AU.
Series
- Part 1 of Perfect Pretenders 'Verse
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Stede finds his crew stranded on a small island, but who left them there? It’s couldn’t really be his love Edward, could it? They set off to find their ship and Ed.
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Post canon reunion fic 👁👄👁🥲💗💪🏽💃🏻😩 -
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WIP-Spanish Jackie/Israel Hands
♠
"You told me Blackbeard shacked up with that talking tit Bonnet." She said in precursor."I never said he was fuckin' shacking up you fuckin'--" He trailed off when noticing her expression- deadpan and patient. Fuck you, he thought.
"Right." She went on, "Listen, he's playing house with that dipstick. You told me you resigned, yeah?" She only waited long enough for him to remember before chugging the fuck along, "You don't have to go back there, Hands. Do it, fuckin' resign. Fuck that gruesome son of a bitch. Y'all are both possessive ass weirdos and it sounds to me like this is the perfect opportunity for you to invest a little more time and thought into your own fuckin' life and your own fuckin' future. That dickhead's gonna be fine, Iz."
There was a silence. Nevermind how much he loathed the subject, Izzy was considering all of this. He rubbed his face, trying to shake off the webs of irrational anger that were raveling him up. He wasn't pissed at Jackie. Not really. He knew who he was pissed at and the woman must have read it on his face like tarot cards.
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Ed and Stede meet again at Mary's house... things do not go to plan for either of them
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Israel kept a siddur hidden inside his pillowcase. Wrapped in a scrap of threadbare fabric, wrapped again in his spare shirt, and taken out only rarely. He knew that a Jewish prayer book was a profoundly stupid thing to carry onboard a pirate ship, for more reasons than one. But as his father had always said, Israel was a slow learner.
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Faded Ink and Frayed Pages Make a Man Weary, Dreary and Weak by MooseMan
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Jun 2022
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Stede, a divorced man trying to find himself, buys an abandoned library, supposed to have housed the famed Blackbeard at one point before he went down with his ship. It might take a bit of elbow grease, but he’ll make it work. Even if the towns a bit suspicious of the place, even if there are unexplained noises in the middle of the night, even if he feels like he’s being watched.
Maybe there’s more to their stories than he’d first thought.Or: Dead Blackbeard haunts a library and Stede says I live here now.
Updates whenever I feel like it. I’m gonna put more ghosts into this bitch or so help me god. Time periods kinda nebulous. No computers, but like Alexander graham bell phones and cars.
Shout out to fandomPhantom1 and lesbianfucker (nice name) for commenting ideas I’ll be usingSeries
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i said here's to me, to you, to us / to everything before it fell apart by 2Hpencil
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
28 Jun 2022
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Snapshots to the weird relationship of Izzy and Edward. From how they met, to how they ended up where they are now. Told from Izzy's point of view
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Nine months after discovering his marooned crew, Stede Bonnet has assumed command of a new ship, and a new identity. He has a plan to seek revenge, and win Blackbeard back.