1 - 20 of 527 Works in Bernard

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    He’s pretty sure that’s just his programming- written that way along with every other facet of his personality and looks. “Do not ever wonder why you’re stuck here like a mouse in a fucking maze.” Picked out like choosing blue over red for a new car. Black leather over tan upholstery.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    790
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    43
  2. Tags
    Summary

    some stuff happens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    82
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    6
  3. Tags
    Summary

    James Hacker is facing an imminent General Election. The last thing he needs is a major crisis blowing up, and with his Chief Political Adviser and the Cabinet Secretary at odds (as usual) it seems he's going to have to make his own mind up.

    This is never a good thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,834
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    114
  4. Tags
    Summary

    “You seem tense, Humpey.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    24
  5. Tags
    Summary

    [Spoilers for Westworld Season 3 Episode 2]

    Did he actually want to do it well?
    Was he just programmed to do so?
    Did he want to do something else?

    Bernard's thoughts during the episode

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    795
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    52
  6. Tags
    Summary

    As a programmer at Westworld, your life in the Behaviour and Diagnostics division was very insular.

    That is, until an android turns up in the park, dead.

    Then an alcoholic cop from Detroit police and an Android sent by CyberLife turn up to investigate.

    Tasked with assisting the two on their investigation, ensuring they don’t step on anyone's toes, you realise there are conflicts and boundaries of your own you are willing to cross in order to help them...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,875
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    162
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2465
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Bernard is satisfied with his life.

    He loves both Sir Humphrey and Jim Hacker, even if they’re just using him for sex. Neither complains about him having an arrangement with the other, although that may be because they haven’t found out yet. And having dual loyalties in his personal life is no worse than having them at work, though every bit as emotionally torn.

    Bernard is satisfied with his life, so he tells himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,612
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    560
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “伯纳德。”依旧是拖长音调的称谓,但此刻却带上了一丝溺爱。“我都教了你这么多东西,还要教你如何接吻吗?”

    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    7,139
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    49
  9. Tags
    Summary

    His brilliant scheme to play the man not the ball has worked rather too effectively. Now Sir Humphrey has a reinvigorated PM and a defence relocation scheme to put back in their respective boxes. And if he doesn’t succeed, poor Bernard might have a three-year diet of Lossiemouth to look forward to…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,752
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    114
  10. Tags
    Summary

    There is a dinner party where a lot of things are discussed. People realize that not everyone has the same views as they do, and the whole thing is just a minor disaster.

    (That's not surprising: whoever thought I should be the one hosting the party was out of their mind.)

    Despite the conversations that take place, nothing changes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,124
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  11. Tags
    Summary

    《美丽新世界》赫姆霍兹/伯纳德
    一个突发奇想的单纯开车爽文

    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    9,516
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    42
  12. Tags
    Summary

    My fills for this year's Three sentence ficathon.

    Netflix Defenders, Jessica Jones, daemon AU
    Buffyverse, D'Hoffryn & Illyria, how to get people to spell your name right
    Welcome to Night Vale, After seven 'What's New Pussycat's, throw in one 'It's Not Unusual.'
    Black Books/Good Omens, Aziraphale and Bernard
    BtVS, Buffy/Faith, It takes just two people to bring the world / to ruin. So goes the history of love
    Knives Out, Marta and Blanc, at the trial
    Doctor Who / H2G2, TARDIS lands on the Heart of Gold
    Gideon the Ninth, Gideon/Harrow, hide and seek is deadly when you play with necromancers
    Person of Interest, Root/Shaw, Shopping for Bear
    Conny Willis Doomsday Book/Doctor Who (s12); past, present and future walked into a bar (it was tense)
    BtVS, Buffy/Faith, leap year

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,260
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    251
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dom goes to stay with his uncle Bern in Sheffield and ends up seeing two boxers sparring in his uncle's gym

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    591
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    9
  14. Tags
    Summary

    旧作重发,The single chapters are the original versions, and the double chapters are the English versions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,993
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    78
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Кто-то должен был разобрать его вещи.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,369
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Editor note: Ever since the sitcom Yes, Minister& Yes, Prime Minister with the book < The Diaries of the Right Hon. James Hacker> have achieved great success, many viewers hope to know more about the background of this sitcom and book. To the end, I obtained the consent of Sir Bernard Woolley’s family and selected several related journals for collation and publication. Anyhow, the responsibility for all errors, whether of omission or commission, remains entirely of my own.

    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    10,965
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    139
  17. Tags
    Summary

    谁还做着那场隔世经年的梦
    静静和衣睡去,不理朝夕

    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    3,407
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    74
  18. Tags
    Summary

    This story was inspired by a writing prompt given by Ramendobe of tumblr! Metro City is overrun by zombies, quarantined, and abandoned by the authorities. Roxanne brings a group of survivors to Megamind's Evil Lair, the only safe place left. To get them in, she's willing to bargain. What she discovers will change her perception forever.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    121,961
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    466
    Kudos:
    793
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    9111
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It's a lovely morning in SHIELD, and you are a horrible flamingo.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    63
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The fallen PM must take his leave of Downing Street. Just for once, the Cabinet Secretary seems to be somewhat at a loss for words…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,766
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    131

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