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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A certain undertaker's lie gets out of hand, and in a shocking turn of events, it isn’t Rudyard. Eric Chapman runs a funeral home in the village of piffling vale. It's never been the only one. His love life has been somewhat bleak as of late, which would bother him less if people didn't insist on taking such an interest in it. At least the reality of his situation was easier to embellish in written communications. What was the harm of some creative liberty between pen pals?

    -

    Eric ropes Antigone into being his fake date to a friend's wedding. In return he'll take her to STIFF'D. What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,653
    Chapters:
    3/11
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    63
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “We can’t do this, Eric,” Antigone Funn hissed as Eric Chapman leaned closer to her, pressing her back against the cold stone wall of the Funn Funerals mortuary.

    “And why not?” Chapman mumbled from down by her shoulder. He had his arms wrapped around her waist, one leg pressed between her thighs. He went to kiss her neck again (jugular, vagus, sternocleidomastoid) and Antigone grabbed his face awkwardly and pushed him as far away as his grasp on her would allow.

    “Because,” she said, “Rudyard is upstairs, and Rudyard will continue to be upstairs, as you’ve already foiled his plot for today, and I will not have you walking past him after… after…”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    668
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    77
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to my newest endeavour! This will be a chronicle detailing imagined missing moments of each episode of the series. I'm not entirely sure where it is going, I'm just having fun writing for these guys again. It is technically Chapgone, but it's mostly in the subtext since it will fit within the scope of the show. It's just supposed to be something light and funny and cute which pulls the episodes together a bit and explains some of the things I've personally always wondered about.

    Let me know what you think! And thanks for reading!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,262
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    75
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard Funn runs a funeral home in Piffling Vale. It used to be the only one. It isn’t anymore.
    Rudyard remembers a time when the dead stayed dead, however his latest client has taken to getting up every time he turns his back. As he rushes around trying to find a missing corpse, a group of tourists keep getting in his way.

    Jonny d'Ville is an immortal space pirate. He says he's the captain. He's only the first mate.
    Jonny is having a terrible time. He woke up dead in the middle of Piffling Vale and now an undertaker has taken to hunting him down. To make matters worse, his crew keeps killing him so they can stay in the village longer.

    However will these two men survive?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,914
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    70
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Now I’m important to him. Typical.”

    What does that even mean? Important.

    -

    Or what if Eric said alot more while high on pain medication, and then didn't remember any of it...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,579
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    176
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The sprawling metropolis of Piffling is kept safe under the watchful eye of the Hero League, founded by the enigmatic Ms Doyle. Their number-one hero, the universally-adored Shirley Temple, remains undefeated in his battle against the villains that plague Piffling.

    The supervillain twins, Muso and Maestro, are yet to cause a break in his winning streak.

    (Or: Hey what if the characters from Wooden Overcoats lived in a superhero society and their dynamic was the exact same as the podcast, just with more super-strength sucker punches to the gut)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,420
    Chapters:
    2/25
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    120
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Carolyn Knapp-Shappey runs an airline called MJN Air.

    It always had one aeroplane. It's rather more of an air dot, really.

    Life has never been easy for the motley crew of MJN Air, but things take a turn for the worse when they land on a barely-there island in the middle of the English Channel.

    Can they escape the strange pull of the village, or is their stay in Piffling Vale finally going to bring MJN Air to its knees?

    Let us find out!

     

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,458
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    42
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Antigone chews on her lower lip, sinking into the sheets. “It wasn’t a nightmare.”

    "But..." Eric blinks at her. He takes stock of her still fluttering breath, the way she shifts minutely, uncomfortably between the sheets, itching for some sort of release.

    “It was actually quite pleasant,” she trills, like whispering a secret. Eric stiffens next to her.

    “Oh,” he says again, dumbly. “Oh. Blimey.”

    #

    Antigone wakes up in a compromising state.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,982
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    647
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman lists a room at his business for temporary getaways. Rudyard books a stay just to trash the place. A snowstorm, a forgotten in-progress sabotage attempt, and one uncomfortable leather couch later, Rudyard realizes just how bad an idea this was.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,451
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    34
    Hits:
    208
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of stories in which Eric Chapman doesn't succeed, but it usually turns out alright anyway.
     

    “Right, s- sorry.” Why was he stuttering? He never stuttered. “I wanted to invite you-” He shot a glance at Rudyard. “Both of you, well, three counting Madeleine, she's obviously also invited, to my place. For lunch on Sunday. You can come over. If you want.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,838
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    478
  11. Tags
    Summary

    With Georgie gone, Funn Funerals is in dire need of an assistant. Eric Chapman is between funeral homes at the minute and is in dire need of something to do. An exploration of the summer where Eric is the new Georgie, Antigone weathers a sentimental storm, Rudyard re-ignites a rivalry, and romance blooms in Piffling Vale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,543
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1148
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman and the Funns have made peace and are now, (dare they say it?) friends. Everything seems to be going well until two figures from Eric's mysterious past show up on Piffling with a few bones to pick.

    Or, Chapman's mysterious backstory is that he was on the origional Hepheastus crew.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,934
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    162
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Hidden in the English Channel there is an island called Piffling. On the island, there is a town called Piffling Vale.

    Six months after our settlement earning its township, life in Piffling remains mostly undisturbed and - to a great extent - the same as before. It is as if a large part of the 21st century marked the single mile of Piffling as out of bounds.

    But you can't avoid change forever. And, at long last, it has come to Piffling Vale. Things will never be the same again. And no one knows that better than Rudyard Funn, whose feud with his immensely popular rival, Eric Chapman, was the first thing to stir up changes in our town's tepid life.

    Chapman brought with him variety, excitement and a chance for everyone to enjoy themselves. And while his practice remains the favoured funeral home for many, Rudyard is quietly confident that a busy and thriving town like Piffling can easily support two funeral homes.

    So it's a real pity that we are getting shut down now!

    Yes, you see, Rudyard Funn used to run a funeral home in the town of Piffling Vale.

    He doesn't anymore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,420
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    166
  14. Tags
    Summary

    You are cordially invited to the Jolly Fun Alumni Dance of St. Clôture! 

     

     

    After receiving the invitation to a dance, Antigone might have mentioned to a classmate she was going with Eric Chapman in a panicked lie. He seemed to be surprisingly open to the idea.

    Set after Dead Man's Chest, not canon compliant

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,787
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    202
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Rudyard finds out Antigone and Eric are dating and vows to put an end to it by any means necessary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,138
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    178
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Eric Chapman finds himself in a predicament of life or death proportions that he can only get out of with the help of Funn Funerals.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,137
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    293
  17. Tags
    Summary

    This takes place immediately after the events of S4 E4, ‘A Match Made in Piffling’.

    Eric Chapman has just had a rather large revelation about his feelings for the mortician across the square. He ends up at the Piffling Royale Cinema and is treated to a private screening of a certain French film.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,865
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    253
  18. Tags
    Summary

    ... And One Time He Woke Up With Her

    The dream sequence in the finale made me think that it could not have been the first time he dreamed of her. In fact, his subconscious tried really hard to get through to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,528
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    230
  19. Tags
    Summary

    “Eric, bloody hell, what do you want, then?”

    “To teach you some patience, first of all,” he says, and Antigone growls, yanking at her restraints, thrashing her head against the pillow in frustration. “Oh, don’t be like that love,” he admonishes. “I can think of much worse ways to learn that particular lesson.”

    .

    Eric has some fun with Antigone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,966
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    660
  20. Tags
    Summary

    a late night discussion concerning poetry and dreams.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,534
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    120

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