1 - 20 of 49 Works in Alternia is Terrible

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Terezi is determined that the new Empress gets just the correct amount of tender loving care she requires to keep her on an even keel, whether she thinks she needs it or not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,183
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    29
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Life as Gamzee Makara isn’t exactly the happiest one. It’s not miserable, but- not the happiest. It’s worse when you’re not accustomed to living on a planet full of violent children and lusii and far more death than there ever was in your typical suburban Earth town.

    Also, the sun burns you. That’s just fucking sad. Gamzee really fucking misses the sun. The moons are cool and all, but seriously, they would kill for twenty minutes with a nice, warm spot of sunlight to doze off in. Did they mention that they really miss the sun? Seriously. Vampire burning-in-the-sun traits. Tragic.

    If only they were fated to actually make it to the new universe after everything was said and done, all the battles fought and won.

    (They never read the epilogues, so they have some hope - but not very much. Not very much at all.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    37,456
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    2625
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "You're going to watch an epic of cinema tonight," you inform Gamzee, and he just blinks at you slowly. Purple is slowly shading into his eyes, replacing adolescent lemon and you restrain the urge to hiss, and yank at his finned ear to make him pay attention. "And you're going to enjoy it, god damn it."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,117
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    107
  4. Tags
    Summary

    On Ancension day, Karkat is not culled. Instead, he is 'saved' from culling by Eridan, his own Prince Charming in a purple cape. Eridan takes him in, and Karkat is instantly bombarded by Eridan’s pale affections. He’s not sure if he’s quite ‘wooed’, but he supposes he’s Eridan’s morail now.
    Eridan is in love, Karkat is resigned, and it’s all both wonderful and terrible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,210
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2435
  5. Tags
    Summary

     


    Aranea Serket and Meenah Peixes once led a motley collection of rejects and outcasts - disgraces to their blood castes and outlawed from Alternian Society. But if you wanted something messy done without anyone looking too closely, they could help you out - for the right price. That all ended one day and none of them much like to talk about it.

    When Aranea and Meenah are approached by a mysterious benefactor with deep pockets and vague requests, they're suspicious. But then they're given an offer they can't pass up: A chance for their past lives to be wiped clean. A chance to have their inner-most needs and desires fulfilled in ways they never thought possible. And all they need to do is a single job - a simple heist for the mystery client.

    By the time they realize what's really happening, it's too late to back out. They must discover the truth behind their enigmatic patron and unravel the truth of what happened to them a half a sweep ago - before their very world is destroyed.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    136,672
    Chapters:
    67/67
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    694
  6. Tags
    Summary

    In which the portal in Joey’s attic doesn’t transport passengers directly to the conjoining portal, but instead to somewhere in the general vicinity. This changes everything.

     

    AKA Dammek & Joey both need a hug, Xefros leads a lowblood rebellion, Jude joins a cult, and the world discovers aliens. Not necessarily in that order.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,369
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    205
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Scorpio Daily Horoscope: That family secret that's just beginning to peek out? You're still feeling quite protective of it . . .

     

     

    Vriska learns to talk to Dave about the ways in which your lusus can royally fuck you up for the rest of your natural life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,519
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    79
  8. Tags
    Summary

    You could die for this. The realization hits like a punch to the stomach, sudden and unexpected.

    Your name is Karkat Vantas and your blood is candy-red, apple-red, target-on-your-back-type-red.

    You are three sweeps old when you realize you could die for this. And you probably will.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,565
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    496
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Clownfest 2020

    Day 1 (April 12): Favorite scene or line - Gamzee & Kurloz Makara
    Day 2 (April 13): Clothes swap / fashion day - Grand Highblood
    Day 3 (April 14): Time - Gamzee Makara
    Day 4 (April 15): Relationships - Chahut Maenad
    Day 5 (April 16): Hobbies and abilities - Gamzee Makara
    Day 6 (April 17): Clown day - Grand Highblood
    Day 7 (April 18): Dreams - Kurloz Makara
    Day 8 (April 19): Chucklevoodoos and other psychic powers - Gamzee Makara
    Day 9 (April 20): MSPAR’s influence - Marvus Xoloto
    Day 10 (April 21): Free day - Karako Pierot

    Check it out on tumblr.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,342
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    483
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "I don't believe you can ever really cook unless you love eating. There is a kind of euphoria of grief, a degree of madness. You don't go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be. I never taste the wine first in restaurants, I just ask the waiter to pour."
    - Hanbul Lecter, well-known seadweller epicurean

     

    "Cooking with kids is not just about ingredients, recipes, and cooking. It's about harnessing imagination, empowerment, and creativity."
    - Guy Fieri

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,430
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    147
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Tiny ficlets written in response to various prompts.

    30) Number Three's gift is illumination. 29) Mathematically speaking, infinite ghosts should add up to one living person. 28) I KNOW IT'S DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO COMPREHEND, BUT THIS MESSAGE BOARD DOES HAVE RULES. 27) You hit rock bottom as soon as you stop digging. 26) Rose would be the first to admit she was skeptical of Jade's efforts to introduce all her friends to each other. 25) Dr. Lalonde recruits for Skaia Labs. 24) In which Dave is fed up with John and Terezi's bullshit. 23) Heat versus humidity. 22) They say the Lady of Luck and the Lady of Death were not always the only gods. 21) Aradia considers idiosyncratic methods of caretaking.

    20) Dirk contemplates loneliness. 19) In the first year on the meteor, Rose alchemized a pair of friendship rings. 18) Technically speaking, Rose is a Sagittarius. 17) No regrets at the end of the world. 16) Cardhenge and its implications for Can Town. 15) Kanaya is fairly sure her neighbors consider her a cryptid. 14) War is kind. 13) Calliope considers her other self.

    [Full contents inside]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,664
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    237
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2639
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A boy and his friends bicker, banter, flirt, flail around uselessly, embarrass themselves and each other, try very hard not to die, and somewhere along the way knock the fish bitch off her throne and make the world a better place or something.

    [OC-insert as Tavros. No Sgrub/Sburb AU.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,442
    Chapters:
    4/30
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    425
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of short stories about blood, and colors, and alternate paths.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,445
    Chapters:
    2/9
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    27
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Gamzee's been pining for a while, and what better time to finally step up and talk to a motherfucker than on a honkiday?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,998
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    210
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It's that time of year again - Kinktober! Chapters are unrelated, warnings will be put as needed.

    1. Equius/Karkat
    2. Aradia/Sollux
    3. Damara/Kankri
    4. Karkat/Kankri
    5. Cronus/Grand Highblood
    6. Jade/Karkat
    7. Caliborn/Dirk/Jane
    8. Rose/Kanaya ft. Dave
    9. Bro/Equius
    10. Porrim/Cronus (Warning: consensual body mod, needles)
    11. Eridan/Sollux (Warning: helmsplay, suicidal ideation)
    12. Bro/Dad Egbert
    13. Damara/Cronus (Warning: soft vore, miniaturisation)
    14. Dualscar/Her Imperious Condescension's voice
    15. Darkleer/Grand Highblood
    16. Spades Slick/Diamond Droog
    17. Cronus/Feferi/Meenah
    18. Grand Highblood/Kankri (Warning: chucklevoodoos)
    19. Dad Egbert/Equius
    20. Grand Highblood/Redglare
    21. Aranea/Kankri (Warning: noncon, mindcontrol)
    22. Dave/Jade/Nepeta
    23. Rose/Equius
    24. Hearts Boxcars/Diamonds Droog
    25. Darkleer/Handmaid
    26. Mituna/Latula/Porrim
    27. Hal/Equius
    28. Terezi/Nepeta
    29. Equius/Tavros, ft Sollux
    30. Equius/Bro/Jade
    31. Gamzee/Sollux

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,719
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    125
    Kudos:
    267
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    9332
  16. Tags
    Summary

    You don’t understand him. To be fair, there’s an ever-expanding list of things you don’t understand now that you’re out in the real world again, but unlike the other concepts you’re getting familiar with, you don’t think you’ll ever be able to wrap your head around him, his family. How easily kindness comes to him. How he could look at a forgettable psion in an institute training to fight for everything he stands against and see something worth saving.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,306
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    221
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The Executor Darkleer suffers an interruption to his working night.

    Written for the Distant Past:An Ancestral Zine.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,110
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    163
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat’s finally won the war. His revolt had been successful, and now he was tasked with bringing the fragmented Empire back together, along with his friends. He succeeds in getting them back, mostly.
    All except for one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    452
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    217
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Just what is a giant fish alien from a species that doesn't have parenthood as a concept meant to do with two human babies anyway? Even if they did come from a meteor.

    Produced for Pro8lematic Fanzine

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,903
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    203
  20. Tags
    Summary

    They are outcasts. Traitors to their race loathed by the Empire they now serve. Caught between two sides and both sides are long. In the Great Imperial-Alternian War, Imperial Admiral Karkat Vantas and Inquisitor Gamzee Makara find themselves caught between two sides. Between the splitting loyalties and manipulative plans, they'll always have the other when it ends. Even if it sets them up against both Empires.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,179
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    154

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