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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert (90s alias Karl Kelley) has been lusting after his lab manager, Rosemary Epps, for the past two years. Rosemary might have a reputation as a cold-hearted bitch, but she’s been kind to him since the day he arrived at Goddard Futuristics, so he can’t quite bring himself to believe all the rumors he’s overheard about her. He knows he has no chance with her—she has a partner, after all—but a man can daydream, can’t he?

    Or at least he can until an awkward confrontation facilitated by Rosemary’s erstwhile lover shatters all of Karl’s carefully held preconceptions about her. He finds himself furious at the way she has been playing on his emotions all along... but not quite furious enough to say no when she invites him into her bed and gives him leave to indulge in all of his fantasies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,246
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Hits:
    7
  2. Tags
    Summary

    I'm procrastinating on figuring out how the last few chapters of The Way They Lived go by making a gallery of art, because there's a pile of it and it mostly lives in my art Tumblr archives, untagged and never to be seen.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    160
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    10
  3. Tags
    Summary

    At the moment of his death, Alexander Hilbert finds himself waking up in the past, on the day he arrived at Goddard Futuristics.

    Now, he wants to make sure that all of his crew mates who died on Hephaestus Station stay alive this time around... and he enlists the help of some old friends at Goddard, several of whom were long-dead, to make this happen.

    (This fic is going to make heavy use of the Terrible OCs I made for my pre-canon Hilbert at Goddard fic, along with relationships established there. You have been warned.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,811
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    214
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Mir borrowed Rosemary to write Compatible, an extremely lovely little fic about Hilbert and Rosemary going in to a computer simulation, ostensibly to test the tech and really because it's clear to everyone that they're in a relationship and their loyalties have shifted towards each other and away from Goddard Futuristics.

    I borrowed the setting back because one of the kinktober prompts was fantasy and I wanted to write about monster dick.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,253
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    7
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Rosemary Epp's ex-girlfriend is getting married, and she doesn't have a date for the wedding. Fortunately, her coworker, Olga Vologina, is happy to offer up her twin brother as a sacrifice.

    Dmitri Vologin has spent the past decade as a recluse, keeping himself busy by writing books about home gardening and by breeding roses. He is not at all certain he wants to go on a date with his sister's coworker, especially not to a wedding where he does not know anyone. But it turns out that Rosemary has read his books, and she manages to charm him into coming along with her... and, eventually, into leaving his seclusion and becoming a part of the world again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,707
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    7
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Set during The Way They Lived, probably between when Hilbert starts fucking Rosemary and when he finally convinces her to marry him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,658
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    11
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The other half of the Voyeurism prompt, aka Alexander Hilbert (terrible 90s alias Karl Kelley) gets inadvertently turned on by his lab manager and masturbates in his office.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,147
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    14
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Commander Renée Minkowski, for the first time in her life, was truly alone.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    629
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    14
  9. Tags
    Summary

    90s at Goddard nonsense. Alexander Hilbert (terrible 90s alias Karl Kelley) decides to work off some steam in his office. His lab manager sneaks a peek.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    563
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    17
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Is Hilbert really trying to convince himself that he shouldn’t be afraid of being alone? Or is he convincing someone else, a long time ago...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    536
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    19
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Selburg had never been a loud man.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    461
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    20
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert finds his control slipping during his second mission aboard the Hephaestus. (Alexander Hilbert's control slipped a long time ago, and he made himself a monster to get it back.)

    (AKA: the author keeps accidentally making herself emo during canon episodes by writing nonsense Hilbert backstory so might as well do it on purpose.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,149
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    16
  13. Tags
    Summary

    “Uhhhhhhhhhh Commander?” Eiffel says, poking his head into the main room of the bridge. “So… I didn’t know how to bring this up, but it’s still happening, so I thought you should probably maybe know… there’s a ghost in the comms room.”

    ---

    The crew of the Hephaestus are a superstitious bunch... but, honestly, who can blame them?

    A series of linked, sometimes non-chronological, slice-of-life-ish vignettes about living on a station that's haunted, or maybe cursed, and plagued with mysterious happenings, time out of whack, crazy crewmates, a star that won't stop being weird, and maybe even... ALIENS??? (Nah, probably not.)

    ---
    Completed!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,549
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    507
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander Hilbert left his job as a surgeon to open up a flower shop, and has been struggling to make it work since... and struggling even more to keep up some pretense of a social life, which becomes suddenly vital to his well-being when a series of late-night deliveries turn into a serious flirtation with a woman named Rosemary. Fortunately, he’s got the backup of his employees, Renée Minkowski and Doug Eiffel, along with their part-time bookkeeper Hera Pryce, all of whom are working through issues of their own, from Renée dealing with aging parents and an absent husband, to Hera’s overbearing mother, to Doug’s extremely awkward attempts to flirt with Hera.

    (Real story: I got a misprinted Hilbert shirt with “Bad Wealth Floral” on the back and decided if I changed it to “Bad Health Floral” it would be perfectly in character. This resulted.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,706
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    123
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I-“ Something seized in Eiffel’s chest. “Yes, yes, I copy, I copy! Who is this?” He didn’t think he was in the Hermes’ vector, not yet, but maybe he was wrong.

    “This is Samuel Lambert of the USS Hephaestus station. You’re heading towards us, and we should be able to line you up with us properly. Do you have any steering capabilities?” The man’s voice crackled. Eiffel blinked, unsure if he had heard that name right.

    “Can you repeat?” Eiffel asked. “What ship is this?”

    “This is the USS Hephaestus. Do you have any steering capabilities?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,156
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    102
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A snippet of Halloween-related nonsense from a high school AU. Renée is having a Halloween party, but is too much of a coward to ask Isabel to come herself, so she asks Isabel's best friend Alex to do the asking instead. Also Isabel teases Alex about having a crush on his lab partner.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,460
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    21
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dmitri Vologin thought he was past his last heat and decided it was safe to stop taking his suppressants.

    He was wrong.

    (Has the author of this ever read an Omegaverse fic? No. Does the author of this understand why they wrote this? Also no. Does Hilbert get the fuck pegged out of him by the terrible woman who is is lab manager in it? Who can say.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,569
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    38
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dmitri Vologin knows he'll find his soulmate at Goddard Futuristics. After all, the words are written on his skin, so whoever they are, they must be here.

    Somewhere.

    Probably?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,221
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    13
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Minkowski gripped the package in her hand, her knuckles turning white.

    Marlboro Cigarettes, the package read.

    Minkowski couldn’t do anything without thinking of Him, could she?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    618
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    53
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Eiffel shouldn’t be affected by something he couldn’t remember. He knew vague details- he knew he had some pretty awesome feelings towards Hera, he knew he respected the commander, he knew the Lovelace lady would kick his ass if needed, he knew the other lady made him feel like a rat in a cage, and he knew he had mixed feelings about the guy named Jacobi. If he didn’t remember the events, then he shouldn’t have a reaction to what had happened, right?
    Well. That would be the logical conclusion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,342
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    84

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