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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk was not a coward.

    He really wasn’t, despite the way others tended to mock and harass him, instinctively realising he wouldn’t retaliate. It was true he didn’t react well to violence and aggression, but avoiding potential harm hardly made him craven, especially when it so regularly sought him out. And hiding crouched inside a wardrobe with his arms over his head and his eyes firmly squeezed shut definitely didn’t make him cowardly. Especially when faced with one of the most psychotic alphas he’d ever met.

    “Come on out Icarus,” Priest cooed, his tone soft and terrifyingly menacing.

    He was too close. Far too close.

    There was absolutely no way Dirk would voluntarily go to Priest, even if it meant the agent might show him some small measure of leniency. Nope, he was just going to stay exactly where he was, huddled in a silent ball of misery and, rather heroically in his opinion, not break into hysterical sobs of terror.

    Because hello, not a coward.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,294
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    178
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    2222
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A sequel to ‘Farah’s Guide to Keeping Todd and Dirk Alive, Healthy and Functioning with Arguable Efficiency’

    1.
    Apologize to Dirk for running off and leaving him alone, so that I could search for Amanda, when we first arrived in Wendimoor. He was clearly having a breakdown and I should have been there for him.

    I need to remember that Amanda isn’t the only one who needs me. In fact, Dirk probably needs me more. How is he even still alive? He has the survival instincts of a suicidal dodo. I have total faith that he can solve any mystery if he tries hard enough but I don’t trust the universe to keep him safe.

    While I’m at it, I should also say sorry for calling him a monster back on our first case together. I never really apologised for that one either. God, Dirk deserved a much a better first friend than me. The universe is a dick to him.

    2.
    Be there for Dirk when we all have the necessary conversation about Blackwing. Farah knows the questions that need asking better than I do but Dirk is going to need moral support.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,349
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    205
  3. Tags
    Summary

    An ongoing list that Farah starts on how to stop Dirk and Todd getting themselves killed.

    1.
    Talk to Dirk about Blackwing. Both Todd and I need to learn everything we can about it so that we can be better prepared if they strike again. Since this will be a difficult conversation, I’ll bring chocolate and Dirk’s squeaky stress toy to help try and keep him calm.

    2.
    From now on, I’m going to assume that any stress toy I hand to Dirk is probably Mona. Mona also doesn’t like talking about Blackwing so, holistic actor or not, she’s not great at helping Dirk stay calm when discussing it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,029
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    285
  4. Tags
    Summary

    After a massive power surge near Nazarick, Sebas is sent to investigate. He returns with a young teen unconscious and on the brink of death. How will this new player on the chessboard affect the plots on both worlds? (Rewrite of the original story from my FFN account. Don't worry about the multiple fandom tag, this is 98% Overlord and Harry Potter, just a little dimension hopping lands some main characters in other fandoms)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,092
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    325
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "This is the moment. This, right here and now, is the moment that Todd’s life changes. He expects fanfare for something so monumental. Perhaps a crack of thunder, or a sudden shift in visual perception allowing him to see colors more vibrantly. He expects to feel different, joyous, full of wonder and awe at such an important moment. Todd expects...well, something, anyway.
    He gets nothing.
    Well, nothing except befuddlement and a sudden, gnawing urge to turn around and walk in any direction other than the one he’s currently headed in."

    Todd Brotzman: Fallen-angel-turned-demon who really isn't into this whole "demon" thing
    Dirk Gently: Holistic Angel who tripped and needs the help of his brand new assis-demon to get back up to Heaven

    Basically, Dirk and Todd are the same characters we know and love but they meet in a different way and exist within the angel/demon universe. Mannerisms and personalities are as much Canon as we are able to portray! Hope you like it! Very possible it will have more chapters :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,556
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    250
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Никогда не ходите на бенефисы незнакомых художников на чужих планетах, да еще и с Фордом Префектом!

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,555
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    15
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Infinite possibilities abound when you work for Torchwood

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,929
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    91
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Takes place at a party. Ford is pining for a ‘spaceship’, which just might be a metaphor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    364
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    95
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Arthur meets someone strange in a coffee shop. It all goes downhill from there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,619
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    92
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk keeps staring at his feet, the tips of his ears turning a silly shade of pink. He’s well aware of how pink they are, thankyouverymuch, and yes, he hates it. Don’t bring it up again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1141
  11. Tags
    Summary

    No plot whatsoever. I wanted to write something for Harry Potter and this came out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    22
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Zaphod wants food porn fantasies.
    Ford wants money quickly.
    Arthur wants an easy life.
    But what they really need is someone who can fix a stolen space ship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,681
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    96
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk enjoys his first proper Christmas surrounded by friends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    499
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    80
  14. Tags
    Summary

    While waiting in a spaceport, Arthur tells Ford about his encounter with Agrajag, the being destined to be killed by him in any incarnation. Ford thinks it's the coolest space-time-anomaly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,197
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    374
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Murderbot doesn't want to be a hero or take part in someone's incredible journey. Why does it keep bumping into people who think it will?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,651
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    572
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Taking place the first night Amanda and the Rowdy 3 are reunited. Martin thanks Amanda for looking after Vogel and then there's a cute dog pile of snuggles and snoring. Minor fluff.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,783
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    615
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Also known as the (mis)Adventures of Snooky the Fairy Dragon (the first in a trilogy!) Crackfic but the kind with effort put into it, not a sloppy oneshot that reads like the author was high

    What happens when a dragons pokes a snail? One would assume, nothing. But in this marvelous work of fiction, lots happens. And not all of it makes sense. Join our protagonists (a bunch of talking animals and fictional characters) on an adventure beyond imagination. Really, you want to read this. Very badly. There's something for everyone: original characters and borrowed ones, cats as well as dogs, gay relationships as well as straight ones, battles in space and battles in the courtroom, country music as well as pop and dubstep, and of course your charming and wonderful authors. This work by AandMProductions' Scatteredplot Press is the first in a set of three (in the works since 2012), and has its own glossary, character chart, map, and playlist. Stay tuned for these add ons, and enjoy the show!

    As seen on scatteredplotpress.wordpress.com

    Oh, and fyi, we swear kind of a lot in this.So if that bothers you, send us a message or comment and we'll see about putting out a censored version if there's interest

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,806
    Chapters:
    2/16
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    282
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk's angsty first year at Cambridge and how Todd made it better.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,571
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    451
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Set at the beginning of Life, the Universe, and Everything. The sofa disappears, leaving Ford and Arthur still stuck on prehistoric Earth. Arthur realises that he doesn't want to be alone again. Ford disagrees.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,933
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    87
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of word prompts for Freebatch Pairings. Mainly characters played by Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,404
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    597

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