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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Ford Prefect, I am the inquisitor and I have been tasked with assessing your existance. I hope I do not find you lacking."
    After playing around with the computer systems on board the Heart of Gold, Ford ends up crossing paths with the inquisitor who demands that he justifies himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,350
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    14
  2. Marriage Law Rejection Letters by

    Fandoms: Harry Potter - Fandom, One Piece, Sailor Moon, Ben 10, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, Supernatural, 天地無用! | Tenchi Muyo!, Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Steven Universe - Fandom, Dragon Ball, Doctor Who, Berserk, Bleach, Sword Art Online, Once Upon A Time - Fandom, Tenchi Muyo GXP, 艦隊これくしょん | Kantai Collection, Bravely Default (Video Game) & Related Fandoms, RWBY, Fairy Tail, Batman: The Animated Series, Teen Titans (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs, Star vs. The Forces Of Evil, Frozen (2013), Gargoyles (TV), X-Men Evolution, X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men (Comicverse), The Sandman (Comics), Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Beauty and the Beast (2017), Beauty and the Beast (1991), My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, Silent Hill (Video Game Series), Super Mario & Related Fandoms, God of War (Video Games), Soul Eater, The Little Mermaid (1989), ワンパンマン | One-Punch Man, Tales of Phantasia, Girl Genius (Webcomic), Red vs. Blue, Metal Gear Solid, Overlord - Maruyama Kugane & Related Fandoms, Overlord (Triumph Video Games), うる星やつら | Urusei Yatsura, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Slayers (Anime & Manga), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), 幽☆遊☆白書 | YuYu Hakusho: Ghost Files, Hellsing, Avengers (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes, Thor (Movies), Thor (Comics), Hetalia: Axis Powers, Labyrinth (1986), Bendy and the Ink Machine, Code Geass, Sekirei (Anime & Manga), Isekai Shokudō - Restaurant To Another World, Inhumans (Comics), Inhumans (TV 2017), Garden of Avalon, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors, Warhammer - All Media Types, Saints Row, Final Fantasy VII, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams, Deadpool - All Media Types, Deadpool (Comics), Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Seventh Carrier Series - Peter Albano, InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, slenderman - Fandom, Creepypasta - Fandom, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Senjou no Valkyria | Valkyria Chronicles, Duke Nukem (Video Game), Prototype (Video Games), Bones (TV), Animaniacs, Hotel Transylvania (Movies), Aladdin (1992), Aladdin: The Animated Series, High School DxD, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Godzilla (2014), Godzilla - All Media Types, Gojira | Godzilla (1954), モスラ | Mosura | Mothra (1961), Final Fantasy IV, Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, Before Crisis: Final Fantasy VII, Undertale (Video Game), The Librarians (TV 2014), The Librarian (Movies), Neon Genesis Evangelion, Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types, Resident Evil (Movieverse), Darkstalkers (Video Games), Street Fighter, Naruto, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga), ゲート 自衛隊彼の地にて斯く戦えり - 竿尾悟 | Gate: Jietai Kanochi nite Kaku Tatakaeri - Sao Satoru (Manga), Cthulhu Mythos - H. P. Lovecraft, Lucifer (TV), Friday the 13th Series (Movies), A Nightmare on Elm Street (Movies 1984-1994), A Nightmare on Elm Street - All Media Types, Annabelle (2014), Tom and Jerry (MGM/Hanna-Barbera), Game of Thrones (TV), Final Fantasy X, Final Fantasy X-2, Homestuck, Code Name: Sailor V, Transformers Generation One, Transformers - All Media Types, Devil May Cry, She-Ra: Princess Of Power, Five Nights at Freddy's, Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Bionicle - All Media Types, Elfen Lied, Super Paper Mario (Game), Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Fallout: New Vegas, Fallout (Video Games), G.I. Joe (Cartoon), G.I. Joe - All Media Types, G.I. Joe (Marvel Comics), G.I. Joe (IDW Comics), Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic, Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey  

    30 Oct 2018

    Tags
    Summary

    When the Ministry of Magic enacts a Marriage Law some time after the final battle against Voldemort, this is the reaction from most of the population who’s against the idea.

    (The Marriage Law Rejection Letters can also be found over at fanfiction.net under the author name Sakura Lisel.)

    Taking submissions for letters for anyone who wants to do one.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    120,614
    Chapters:
    266/266
    Comments:
    234
    Kudos:
    334
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    11030
  3. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    200
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    33
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Двое инопланетян и двое обезьяньих потомков пытаются попасть в место, похожее на бар…

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,554
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    19
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The blonde figure facing away from her was achingly familiar, and the Doctor dared not hope that it was her, but then she turned around, and -

    “Oh!” Rose Tyler exclaimed. “Oh, thank God I’m not alone!”

    Those last words triggered something in The Doctor’s memory, four words that had had a greater impact on her than any other sentence in her nine hundred years of living, spoken by the Face of Boe so long ago.

    You are not alone.

    The notion that he had not just meant the Master was something that the Doctor had never dared to take into consideration. And yet now, stethoscope moving over Rose’s chest as she lay in the sickbay, she heard it. Rose’s heartbeat.

    One two three four. One two three four.

    What the hell was going on?

    (ft. characters from the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, u don’t need to b familiar with them to read this tho)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,034
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1401
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent are about to die. Ford makes a split-second decision that has no impact on whether or not they'll come out of it alive, but at least it makes him feel better about the whole thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,818
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    183
  7. Tags
    Summary

    For the DGHDA Big Bang 2018.

    When a god disappears from an intergalactic church leaving behind swathes of followers with no choice but to face reality for a change, its has all the appearances of one of those bizarre and unique mysteries for the ages.

    It would be amiss to think that it has anything do with a small child experiencing the terror of their entire planet being engulfed.

    It would be awry to think that it has any link with Tina Tevetino waking up in a motel pool with years of past memories wiped.

    And it would be askew of anyone to connect it with Detective Farah Black and Not-Detective Todd Brotzman, the former solving a crime-a-day and the latter in the midst of child rearing.

    But "amiss" "awry" and "askew" are not words in Dirk Gently's dictionary. He spilt a banana flavoured milkshake over the "A" section quite a few years ago.

    This work is canon-compliant as per the end of Season 2. It refers to canon set out in the two Dirk Gently novels and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, but no knowledge of either is required to understand the work.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,012
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    425
  8. Tags
    Summary

    What if, instead of being picked up by the Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor was picked up by a certain Improbability Drive-driven starship carrying some people he met at a flying party once, and they were enlisted to help him take down Thanos?

    In desperate situations, as the Guide says, don't give up hope. Actually, it goes on to say, you might as well give up hope, but the most important thing is to not panic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,994
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    82
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Ford doesn't understand the Earthers' view of alcohol. Arthur is concerned.

    in short, Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent's first meeting. Enjoy! title from David Bowie's "Hallo Spaceboy."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,491
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    98
  10. Tags
    Summary

    You should only read this out of curiosity. I’ll be honest, Brotzly as we know it is really just a throwaway line in this fic; it instead focuses on the idea that Dirk and Todd will end up solving mysteries and falling in love no matter which universe they’re in.

    It instead contains chubby, European ball of sass Book!Dirk, and bubbly, star-struck, pink-cornrow-wearing Todd Venezia.

    Basically: someone on tumblr asked if I’d write book fanfic and, well, I did.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,954
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    52
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Groaning, Ford tried to remember if he’d scheduled an appointment to have his eyelids flipped inside out, his tongue sandblasted, or his skin replaced with Velcro. Searching what he could immediately access of his memory, he decided, no, he’d consciously done none of those things, no matter what the Guide offered for an insurance plan, and so settled for the fact that he must have been through a transfer beam with no alcohol or protein or salt intake beforehand. What the hell had he been thinking?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,108
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    169
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk was not a coward.

    “Come on out Icarus,” Priest cooed, his tone soft and terrifyingly menacing.

    But there was absolutely no way he would voluntarily go to the agent — not even in the hope of receing a small measure of leniency. Nope, he was just going to stay exactly where he was, huddled in a silent ball of misery and, rather heroically in his opinion, not break into hysterical sobs of terror.

    Because hello, not a coward.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,177
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    4015
  13. Tags
    Summary

    When a prospective client turns up at the Agency with the front half of a perfectly happy Siamese cat, matters have to be taken into Dirk and Todd’s entirely (in)capable hands. Over a thousand miles away, in a dusty town in New Mexico, a woman has disappeared without a trace, and the residents live in fear of falling prey to a monstrous witch who haunts their desert home. But nothing here is quite what it seems.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,587
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    552
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Trans man Arthur Dent discovers all he needs to start publicly transitioning is a quirky friend from Betelgeuse who doesn't give a fuck about gender norms.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,467
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    90
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Ford Prefect has been stranded on Earth for what seems like years, but his bleak future soon looks up when he meets Arthur Dent in the local pub, and the two men bond over Shakespear's Hamlet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,419
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    145
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit
    No, don't you give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit
    For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die
    Won't you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit"
    —An ancient Orion mining song

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    101
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    62
  17. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,888
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    77
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The rowdies have a chaotic game night in the van, featuring all of Cross's favourite board games.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,716
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    125
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Amanda finds out that there a quite a few skills the rowdies she didn't know about.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    916
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    167
  20. Tags
    Summary

    The rowdies find out Vogel and Beast have never seen the sea before and decide to show them how fun it all is.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,587
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    332

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