1 - 20 of 1483 Works in "Calico" Jack Rackham

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    It’s true what they say about Hawaii, Stede thinks as he steps out of the sleek Range Rover that delivered him from the airport to the resort—the air here smells sweet. It’s far from the car fumes of busy LA, that’s for sure. Stede inhales slowly, purposefully, and holds the clean air in his lungs, hoping it will cleanse him from the inside out.

    “Aloha, welcome to Queen Anne’s!”

    Or: A freshly single Stede Bonnet vacations in Oahu. Things do not go as planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,848
    Chapters:
    5/8
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    812
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Jack is the stable hand and Izzy is the knight.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,747
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    0
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Stede Bonnet, The Gentlemen Cowboy, would do anything to protect Revenge, Montana- a queer enclave he founded in the wild west- but as they say nothing gold can stay. Will his new found friend and love, known outlaw Ed "Blackbeard" Teach, be a blessing or a curse? They could have it all if it weren't for Ed's pesky criminal past and lovesick former flame- Israel Hands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,223
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    2186
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Total Drama Island AU. The crew compete in sadistically dangerous SMAU-fic inspired challenges to be the last pirate standing.

    Eliminations from the losing team decided by vote.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    41
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The first time it happens, Ed doesn’t say anything. It’s a normal day. Boring. Maybe he has a hangover, maybe it’s time to stop getting black-out drunk the night before work. But it’s been a while since he’s gotten into trouble for it. He doesn’t have as much to be angry about these days, not anymore. Depressed? Possibly. Feeling like he’s wasted his life? Oh, absolutely, that’s just a fact. He’s 45 years old and working in a dingy, dusty strip mall, living vicariously (at the moment) through a man in a $3000 bespoke suit taking a sledgehammer to a microwave.

    Or: 17 times Stede Bonnet shows up to Ed's Rage Room, the one time he doesn't, and the aftermath

    PROMPT:
    "modern au where Ed is the owner of the rage room and one day Stede comes in after a very stressful day at work, pays 40 minutes for the room, breaks things for 20 minutes and then cries for another 20 minutes" @EDWARDSSTEACH on Twitter

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,317
    Chapters:
    13/30
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    219
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    3575
  6. Tags
    Summary

    What it says on the tin.

    A collection of short fics inspired by OFMD Pussy Bingo 2022 in various combinations of Stede/Ed/Izzy/Jack in various situations.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,501
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    710
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Stede is a divorced, gay, divorce lawyer. He is dreading his upcoming class reunion since the Badmintons (because of fucking course) are running bets on him arriving alone and pathetic to the celebration dinner.
    Enter Ed Teach, long-time columnist for Hornygold, a gay lifestyle and entertainment magazine with some very interesting centerfold pictures. Ed is tasked to woo new sponsors for the magazine with an article about relationships.

    Ed runs into Stede and hijinks ensue. There will be a happy ending, of course ;)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,879
    Chapters:
    85/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    513
    Kudos:
    326
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    9617
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “If I have to hear Silver salivate over your bare chest today, I will vomit. And that’s not my hangover talking.”

    Flint felt his eyebrows come together. “Silver…what?” He looked stupidly down at his own torso, holding his cigar out.

    Max sighed like he was stupid. “His room overlooks your yard,” she pointed out. “Your — weekly display has become an event in our house.” She pinned him with a sharp look. “Cover. Your. Tits.”

    Welcome to Lake Nassau, the small town with the grumpiest bookshop owner and his flirtatious new neighbor.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,206
    Chapters:
    15/17
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2474
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Izzy can't seem to shake Jack's attention, but it's just sex. Meanwhile, Edward has big plans, and Izzy intends to be a part of them. Porn with a bit of plot, to wrap up this series.

    “Come on, baby, it's been almost a week. We had a good time together, we should plan something. I know places.”

     “It’s been four days."

     “And it’s felt like a lifetime,” Jack sighs, sounding as though he’s been suffering on a Biblical level.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,249
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    85
  10. Tags
    Summary

    “For fuck’s sake,” Izzy moaned, grabbing Jack’s wrist. “Is anyone gonna fuck me soon?”

    Jack slurped Izzy’s pinky into his mouth.

    “You’re disgusting.”

    “You gave him it.” Ed pointed out. “Who gets the front?”
    —-
    pure filth, for the prompt ‘DP.’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,133
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    136
  11. Tags
    Summary

    a motorcycle au // Part 1 of 3 (?)

    Stede Bonnet is a divorced dad who works as a master gardener for a sunny seaside town's parks department. Edward “Blackbeard” Teach is a notorious ex-bounty hunter and motorcycle club leader who hangs out at Jackie's Bar every weekend.

    They're both in desperate need of a change.

    They find each other.

    Or:

    The inane adventures of two strangers to friends to lovers as they learn about life, the open road, emotional vulnerability, and each other. Featuring lots of knowing smiles, relationship building, sunny beaches, emotional fist fights, and fun summer barbeques.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,924
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    471
  12. Tags
    Summary

    “He knows this man’s name, and the Taskmaster does not know his. In this, if only this, Charles holds the power. How he came to know his own name he can no longer say, but it is as much a part of him as his own heartbeat.

    He is not Boy, or You, or That One. He is Charles Vane, and he plans to remain so. Even now. Even through this.”

    A fix-it fic that couldn’t stay in its lane, and turned into a life’s story for Chas <3

    VaneRackham (eventually) and canon-divergent from the events of s3e9 on. Chapter count is an estimation; it may be longer. It almost certainly will not be shorter. Character and content tags will be updated as chapters are added.

    Archive warning is for chapter 2 only.

    ShortJohnSilver is the Unsinkable Beta Reader and also the best <3

    Shout out to pirate_fuck3r for the sensitivity read!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,046
    Chapters:
    6/30
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    109
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Ed and Stede keep meeting at Halloween parties as the years pass and their circumstances change. Each time they meet, their connection deepens. But a fuller relationship is always just out of reach.

    ---

    This story takes place over a number of years as Ed and Stede's lives change and intersect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,022
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    61
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    759
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Edward Teach owns a successful tattoo parlor called Queen Anne’s Revenge. His life is terribly dull until one day Stede Bonnet, divorced dad, moves in next door and plans to open a gay bar (The Revenge) after recently coming out. Can they both find their way through their first love?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,586
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2380
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “I want a divorce.”

    Izzy’s said the words more times than once in the past eighteen years of marriage, but he means them this time. More than he ever has before, anyway.

    At the prow of the very expensive and very unnecessary boat parked in the driveway, Edward - Izzy’s idiot (soon-to-be-ex) husband - sighs and rolls his eyes.

    “Come on, Iz!” Ed shouts. He’s wearing a stupid fucking captain’s hat and has one foot propped against the rail. “The boat is an investment! And it’ll be fun.”

    Or, how Izzy Hands saves his marriage (and gains a boyfriend) by getting a divorce.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,441
    Chapters:
    8/10
    Comments:
    304
    Kudos:
    394
    Bookmarks:
    80
    Hits:
    5681
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt fills for the #OFMDPussyBingo challenge on Twitter. Tags will be updated as I go along. CW will be at the beginning of each chapter. Enjoy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,189
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    352
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “You know what would make me even more beautiful?” Ed asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

    “Being covered in diamonds, pearls in your hair, but I really can’t imagine you looking any more beautiful than you do right now.”

    “Fuck, Stede that’s fucking lovely but I was thinking more along the lines of some new welts on my back and ass. You can break the skin, I don't mind.” He bats his lashes.

    “Ed.” Stede gasps. “Shall I beat you black and blue on our wedding night?”

    “Oh fuck, Stede.” Ed grinds up against the mattress. “That sounds so fucking hot.”

    Started out as pirate smut, turned into a sprawling epic about gender identity, healthy relationships, found family, trauma resolution and anti-colonialism (and pirate porn, so much pirate porn.)

    One third backstory, one third plot, one third pirates fucking through a wide variety of kinks, and 100% pure fluff between them.

    (If you’re only here for the stedyhands, it’s chapters 13 and 14. You’re welcome.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    151,263
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    892
    Kudos:
    998
    Bookmarks:
    183
    Hits:
    28658
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Frenchie and Izzy were the last two people anyone would have expected to get together.

    The crew is desperate to save their beloved lute player from his own poor choices.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,454
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    317
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Watching these two in the ring you'd never know it was foreplay. Jack had the reach, but Izzy had the power. Early on, their bouts looked like Izzy was taking a beating, Jack's long arms reaching in and around. Izzy's neck snapping side to side as hook after hook made contact with the side of his head. But once Izzy got in there, jab after jab sinking into Jack's ribs and stomach, things felt more up in the air. More often than not, one of the two ended up on their back, blows raining down from above until someone remembered to ring the bell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    110
  20. Tags
    Summary

    42 year-old Stede Bonnet is fresh out of divorce and is now having a midlife crisis. So what’s a man to do? Start a tattoo business, of course! Gentleman’s Tattoos competes with The Blackbeard Piercing and Tats Co., romance, competition, and comedy ensues…..

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    859
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    19

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