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  1. 1

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    The colors hadn't come back.

    Desperado had expected them to but they hadn't. Everything had remained muted as if it was being viewed through some sort of grayscale filter. He knew the problem was his and his alone - these sorts of things always were. Of course, it was his problem. And it wasn't like the colors around him were completely gone. He was still perfectly capable of seeing the blue of the ring or the gold highlights on his own mask. But they weren't bright. The colors were lonely, even though he knew that sentiment made absolutely no sense.

    And that wasn't the worst part.

    Not even close.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,972
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    23
  2. 2

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    I did try to warn you, Naito said as he buckled Jay's seatbelt, taking care not to let it touch his stomach.

    Yeah, Jay sighed. I just figured you were exaggerating when you said he could eat that much.

    Shingo? Naito laughed. Never.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,010
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    76
  3. 1

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    That needed to wait, though. There were more important things to worry about.

    Jay had been gone all summer and fall - had even missed the G1 - and Tetsuya wondered why. Had worried about him, even if that wasn't something he had said out loud to anyone other than BUSHI. Had missed him, even if his heart had slowly started to become accustomed to Jay being elsewhere for long stretches of time. But he'd come back - appeared at a single show - and now this.

    Tetsuya was rushing as fast as his knees would go. It was a little reckless - he wasn't even cleared to wrestle yet and had only been at the arena to make his BUSHI-mandated check-in. But he was here and Jay was out there and his heart needed to get to him.

    Because Bullet Club had turned on him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,894
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    63
  4. 1

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    First date.

    Those two words kept tumbling around in his brain over and over again, almost painfully colliding with the side of his skull like he had been spiked onto the ring apron head first. That's what this was, wasn't it? This was their first date. He had asked Jay out to dinner and he had said yes and here they were.

    BUSHI was going to be so irritated that he had taken Jay to Subway. Tetsuya could almost perfectly picture the headshake of disappointment.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,065
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    43
  5. 1

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    This was a really terrible idea.

    Selfish and stupid and greedy. They had kissed - that should be enough. Jay was always reaching too far and too high. Aiming for something impossible. He was going to be one of the greatest wrestlers in the world. He was going to be IWGP Heavyweight Champion - no matter what it took. His ambitions had always been a little bit too big for his own body.

    Just like his dreams had always been too big for his heart.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,766
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    142
  6. 1

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    They arrived at Jay's hotel room door far too quickly for Tetsuya's liking. He wasn't quite ready for this night to be over even though he had been the one to extend it already once by asking Jay to have dinner with him. There was this odd and unfamiliar tightness in his chest when he thought about saying good night. Was this what it felt like to want to be with someone? To want to spend as much time as possible with someone else?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,742
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    105
  7. 1

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    Naito.

    Naito had been waiting for him after his match. That part by itself was difficult to comprehend. Jay had been back from his excursion for a few months and they hadn't interacted at all. Which was fine. It was. There was nothing about him for Naito to remember. They hadn't been anything while he was still a Young Lion - he had just been another target of Naito's games and tricks. It didn't matter how hard his heart would beat whenever they were close to one another. It didn't matter how badly he had yearned and wanted.

    It didn't matter how - even on the other side of the world - he could still see Naito's smile in his dreams.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,353
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    99
  8. 1

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    Tetsuya didn't like his new hair.

    It was an odd thing but he missed how much more open Jay's face looked when he was a Young Lion. Less like he was trying to hide behind each and every strand of hair. But Jay White was Jay White and he was still drawn to him more than he probably should be. His excursion had passed, though, and as BUSHI kept reminding him, he had run out of excuses. Tetsuya felt comfortable in his own skin again and Jay looked awkward in his.

    The angry Switchblade seemed so far away from the Young Lion that he still saw in his dreams.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,501
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    108
  9. 2

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    Naito made sense to him. Every move, every taunt, every gesture. It was like he was speaking a language that Jay somehow understood. And more than anything, he wanted the skill and the words to be able to answer him. He couldn't. Not yet. But someday.

    It takes years for Jay and Naito to reach that someday but they will. And the journey along the way is filled with little moments of longing and realization. Of reaching out and finally being understood.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,788
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    913
  10. 2

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    This. This is really in there, Jay.

    Just cut it all off, Jay moaned. M’so tired. 

    Ahora mismo...Tetsuya ran his fingers softly over the damp snarled mess that used to be Jay White’s half-ponytail. i’m almost considering it. But i don’t think you would be very happy with me in the morning. 

    Yeah. Ouch, don’t pull so hard...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,050
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    127
  11. 2

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    It was far more likely that he would be long since gone by then. Naito would get bored of him sooner rather than later. It was inevitable. How could he ever be enough for someone as patient and as affectionate as Naito? Everything he had done to himself to finally get where he wanted to be had been solely to stand at the top of the mountain - unassailable and unavoidable. The consequences hadn't mattered. Why would anyone ever care that all that remained of his heart was a shattered mess? Why would he?

    But now Jay was lying - wide awake and miserable - beside the only man he had ever wanted and he was far too aware of just how much damage he had done.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,715
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    192
    • 20 Jun 2021

      Public Bookmark

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      Bookmark Notes:

      oh my god

      😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  12. 3

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    "Are you even going to be able to focus on anything but your pretty boy?"

    Somehow, Shingo was standing next to him - arms crossed against his chest and a single eyebrow raised. He looked distinctly unimpressed and Tetsuya wanted to deny the accusation but the words were stuck in his throat. How did Shingo even know which match he was looking at in the first place?

    "He's not my pretty boy."

    Tetsuya knew Shingo was rolling his eyes without even looking at him. Jay wasn't his. Not like that. He probably could have sounded a little less morose when he said it, though.

    "He should be. Do something this time."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,789
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    203
  13. 3

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    "Jay White."

    Of fucking course.

    Because exactly who he needed to happen to come across him was Tetsuya Naito. His rival and his greatest weakness. Naito seeing him like this - one hand cradled in the other - was far worse than showing vulnerability in front of Bullet Club. There was a vast difference between not wanting to be seen as weak and wanting Naito to care that he had a weakness but they were both equally dangerous.

    "I'm not in the mood, Naito. Go play with somebody else."

    "No."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,857
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    177
  14. 6

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    There was a timer counting down on every leader of the Bullet Club. Jay knew that. Had heard it ticking away in his head from that very first moment. But in his own fucking arrogance, he had assumed that he had longer than this. Had assumed this moment was far off in the future. Down the line when he had abs worse than Tanahashi and was ready to be put out to pasture. Maybe this time would be different - he was different - and this moment would never come.

    But it had.

    And there was a reason why Bullet Club had waited to make its move until a night when Tetsuya Naito wasn't on the card.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,004
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    356
  15. 5

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    Summary

    Unable to sleep on a night when everything had gone wrong, Tetsuya Naito finds himself side-by-side with Jay White. And then everything starts to go so very right.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,464
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    484
  16. 2

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    It shouldn't be this easy, is what he tells himself.

    In all honesty Tetsuya has a fairly good idea of why taking charge of and tending to the very drunk and very upset Jamie Now Former Switchblade Jay White comes so easily to him, but at the moment his feelings on the subject don't matter.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    533
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    237
  17. 2

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    And n'matter how fucking. HARD I try, in the end it all gets ripped out from under me. I can't do this anymore Naito I can't, not when I'm in pieces and nobody on my side can s-spare a fucking glance my way
    Jay, you have to stop. Breathe.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    833
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    173
  18. 6

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    At least Jay waited until the door was closed before he started hollering.

    "What the fuck?! Why did I have to find out from the locker room gossip mill that your knee was this bad? Are you crazy… excuse me… are you loco?"

    He said the word as slowly as possible and it was more difficult than it should be for Tetsuya to not smile. Tetsuya hadn't expected to find Jay waiting for him when he returned from another appointment but there he'd been, leaning up against the door and trying to look as inconspicuous as a pretty gaijin with too much hair could possibly look.

    It wasn't very effective.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,063
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    274
  19. 2

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    It isn't the long day or the gray skies that are bothering Jay White. It's the fact that Tetsuya Naito insists on following him to his hotel. It's just another one of his games but Jay is also just curious enough about what he's doing to play along.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,144
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    173
  20. 2

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    He was done.

    He was done with everything.

    It wasn't just that he was out of energy to take another step but that he wasn't sure if he cared about walking at all. One of the very few things that Jay knew for certain was that it didn't matter where he was going. No one was going to come looking for him and he had nowhere to go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,768
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    227

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