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All I Really Want is You

Chapter Text

Strolling in the woods looking for unusual birds would normally be Raymond’s ideal weekend. However, it would be an understatement to say that the enjoyment of this activity was diminished by his longing for his husband. His estranged husband.

Raymond has already been separated from Kevin for what felt like an uncountable number of months, and though time was supposedly going to mend his - as platitudinous as it sounded - broken heart, it only felt like each moment without Kevin was continuing to tear his figurative myocardium apart.

A distraction, to a limited degree, was his squad, whom he has been offering to take to his and Kevin’s lake house for a few months. Although Raymond expected it would, at the very least, sting to go there without the co-owner of the lake house, with whom he had a myriad of fond memories at that house, Raymond hoped that going with the squad would help him associate the place with something other than Kevin. He was going to have to try to get over his husband, no matter how inconceivable the prospect seemed.

When his squad finally accepted his invitation, Raymond mentally prepared himself for the potential ache he may experience at the lake house, which he was certain would serve as a reminder of Kevin; not that he had needed one.

As usual, Raymond predicted correctly. During the tour of the lake house, he had to go into each sitting room and see two chairs either adjacent or opposite to each other. Frustratingly, the first and only things that came to mind there were how Kevin used to intertwine his fingers with Raymond’s when they were both sitting down, engaged in their own activities, but assured Raymond of his silent yet calming presence; the way Kevin would make the occasional witty comment about the book he was reading or the crossword he was solving; the way Kevin-

No. Raymond was determined not to let his thoughts of Kevin consume him and ruin the trip, especially not when the squad had come such a long way to spend time with him. He could not neglect them in favour of dwelling on his misery, could he?

Besides the obstinate thoughts about Kevin that often wedged themselves into his mind, Raymond had been enjoying the company of his employees. His friends. Even Scully did not seem to be causing much trouble whilst desperately attempting to contact Hitchcock. Despite Raymond’s inner turmoil, he was not ignorant of the fact that the Nine-Nine genuinely cared about him, and he was grateful to them for that.

Any feeling Raymond was having that told him that he may actually end up having fun that weekend dissolved when the exact person he was trying not to think about showed up at the door.

For some reason, Kevin was there at their lake house at the same time as him; Raymond was sure that he had confirmed beforehand that the house would be free that weekend. Admittedly, his first thought upon hearing Kevin call his name was that he might have come to make a grand romantic gesture, something Raymond knew that Kevin was prone to doing at times, to profess his perpetual love for him and tell him that he wanted to stay. Raymond considered this before he realised Kevin’s abrasive tone and, when Raymond came outside, his irritated expression, so clearly there was no such luck.