I never knew pain could hurt that much. Don't get me wrong, I've been in pain before. Hell, I've even been shot. But none of that pain came close to what I was experiencing now. It felt like a knife was lodged into my heart and with every beat it got pulled deeper inside. My soul felt like it had broken into a thousand little pieces and I was positive no glue in the world would be strong enough to fix it.
And the worst part of it all? It was all my fault. I let him go. I was so stubborn, that instead of fighting for what I wanted, I simply surrendered. Because I wasn't sure it would make a difference. I had gotten it into my head that he would go back to her. His ex-wife. They had a daughter, a history. All we shared was a passion for good music, good books and Fat Tires. And I never believed that could be enough. No matter how many times he told me it was. No matter how many times he held me at night, his arm tightly wrapped around me, never falling asleep before pulling me close so he could press a kiss to the top of my head.
If only I had a little bit more faith. A little bit more believe in what we had and the connection we shared. If only I had told him how I felt, what I felt. But now, there was this annoying voice inside that kept insisting it was too late. But was it? Could it really be too late?
I grabbed my phone from where it lay on the couch and unlocked it. Immediately the screen lit up and showed me the background picture. It was him.
I had taken it on a Sunday afternoon. He was on the balcony, his hands on the railing as he looked out over the valley. He had just told me something funny and the smile still lingered on his face. He looked calm, peaceful. He never noticed I took it. One night I received a call when I was in the shower. The phone's screen had lighten up, that's when he must have seen it. He didn't say anything though. Just walked into the bathroom and held the phone out for me. A knowing smirk on his face. I just smirked back as I accepted my phone, before turning back to turn of the water. I never stood a chance. Seeing as how I hadn't answered the call yet he snuck up behind me, lifting the phone from my hands and placing at the towel rack for save keeping. The next moment his hands were all over me, his lips easily found the soft spot at the nape of my neck. I braced my hands against the wall, turning my head to give him better access. I felt one of his hands slide up to cup my breast as the other traveled south over my hip and down the inside of my thigh. I moaned softly when his hand slipped between my legs and rubbed me before gently slipping two fingers inside, knowing fully well I was ready for him.
“Fuck, Harry”, I muttered as he managed to hit that sweet spot within me.
Hearing me curse he softly bit down into my shoulder as his other hand pinched and pulled at my hardened nipple. It was sensory overload and he knew it.
“Come for me, baby”, he all but pleaded, as he picked up the pace and set an almost relentless rhythm.
I took some deep breaths as I started seeing stars. I was so close to an orgasm and by the feeling inside, I wondered if I could manage to stay on my feet.
“I'm so close”, I panted.
I felt him step closer and wrap his free arm around me, pulling me to him and at the same time holding me up. I leaned my head back and let it rest on his shoulder.
I rested my left hand on the arm that was holding me, while my right hand slipped impatiently between my folds, rubbing my sensitive nub.
A few more deep strokes of his fingers pushed my over the edge and instead of taking it easy, he continued stroking me, prolonging an orgasm that never seemed to end. And just when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, his free hand found mine and pushed it harder against my nub, rubbing agonizingly slow circles. Within seconds I was at the edge again and over it. This time I actually screamed.
I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed as I leaned back against him. I felt him slip his fingers out of me, but since my eyes were closed I couldn't see what he was up to. Suddenly I felt two of his fingers ghost over my nose before he pressed them to my lips. I opened them slightly and allowed him to slip his fingers into my mouth. Even after two breath taking orgasms, tasting me on his fingers got me almost unbearably wet.
After a few more moments he took his fingers from my mouth and gently turned me around. Scared I would lose my balance I quickly placed a hand on his chest.
He cupped my face and just when I thought he was going to kiss me, he asked me a question.
“Can you walk?”
I shook my head. With the way my legs felt I wasn't sure I'd make it out of the bathroom, let alone all the way to the bed since I was pretty sure that's where we were headed.
He smirked, before pressing his lips to me, kissing me softly but longingly. I felt his hands travel down my sides and to the back of my legs. I felt him pull me of the ground and immediately wrapped my legs around his waist. My lower stomach pressed against his obvious arousal. He continued kissing me while he made his way to the bedroom. I teased him a little by rolling my hips against his bulge, trying to make him move faster. Instead he stopped dead in his tracks.
I pulled back a little to look at him. He tried to look stern, but his eyes were jet black.
“I won't make it to the bedroom if you act like this”, he told me, his voice thick with arousal.
“Why wait then?”, I asked him, while my fingers traveled to his belt and tried to undo it.
“You sure?”, he replied as his fingers found mine.
I nodded and unwrapped my legs from his waist, leaning back against the wall.
Within seconds he undid his belt and unbuttoned the dark denim jeans he was wearing. I leaned towards him and pushed both his jeans and his boxers down a little until his cock sprang free. He was hard as a rock as I ghosted my fingers up and down his length.
He grabbed my hand and pulled it away from him.
“I'm sorry love, but this is not going to last long”, he told me as his hands found my body again and lifted me up, pressing me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around him to bring him closer to me and slipped my hand between our bodies to align him to my entrance. Seconds later he pushed inside of me, not stopping until he bottomed out. He kissed me deeply as he gave my body a few moments to adjust to him. When I started squirming for friction, he picked up the pace. Fast, deep thrusts. From the way he was breathing I could tell he was close.
“Come with me”, he pleaded.
I slipped my hand between us and started rubbing quick circles on my nub. I clenched my inner muscles and he started cursing.
He picked up the pace and the extra friction he created, caused me to fell over the edge. Feeling my orgasm, he let go as well and moaned loudly as my inner muscles squeezed every drop from him.
Completely spent he rested his forehead against mine as we tried to catch our breath.
“I wanted to make love to you”, he told me softly as he slipped out of me and stepped back, taking of the rest of his clothes.
“It's okay”, I replied. “We have all night”.
After a quick stop in the bathroom to clean up, we finally made our way to the bed. Crawling in naked I waited for him to lie down and then curled up against him. My head on his chest, my left arm wrapped around his waist. His right arm wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me close. The last thing I felt before dozing of was him pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. He said something too, but as I was falling asleep I couldn't make out the words.
My phone beeps, alerting me to a received text, effectively rousing me from my daydream. I look at the screen and realize the message is from him.
When I open it, it's like he knew I was daydreaming about us and his message echoes the three words he said that night.
I love you.