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Restless

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Every day, every night I stay awake. I’m worried. I want to know where you are. What you do. How you do. Are you okay?

I want you to come back. It doesn’t really matter when. As fast as possible is enough. Take your time. You need it now. It hurts me that you are not here but I want you to be fine again. Don’t worry. I will be here to welcome you back. Where are you right now?

My mind is always set on you. I can still be myself and the others don’t notice. They don’t know that I know the truth. But it’s okay. I can bare this truth because I know that you will have someone to be by your side and encourage you. To help you overcome. To bear the burden with you together. I can share your pain. That makes it worth hurting. It makes it worth waiting because then I can be sure to be a help for you. Do you need me right now?

It makes me sad to come back to an empty room. No one knows but I can’t sleep without you here, sound and safe, here, where I can see you, protect you from any harm. I feel like I haven’t slept for weeks, months, maybe years even though this happened all just a week ago. Please come back, please let me know, let me rest safely so that I can greet you with a smile when you are back again. You won’t. I know this. You can’t. But I’ll still be here. I wait for you. I don’t care how long. I don’t care about rest or sleep. I’m fine with thinking about you, all day and all night. Please come back. Return to me. I’ll do anything. …Will you come back?